VENTRILOQUISM

The art of throwing one’s voice. A very useful technique to have when you are being attacked and need to draw a zombie away from you. Please do ensure that you have practised this technique before using it in a real-life defensive situation. Mumbling ‘gottle of geer’ through clenched teeth will do nothing but make your final moments on this earth look slightly ridiculous.

Also note that you do not have to have a dummy to be a decent ventriloquist and walking around with your hand stuffed up a small wooden man’s bottom will do nothing to instil confidence in you from your team.