GARAGE

I’ve just been down to my garage and found a life-sized plastic carp and a copy of the 1984 winners of the Eurovision Song Contest on vinyl 45. It is amazing what you can find in these oft-ignored store areas when preparing for and scavenging during a zombie apocalypse. The average household tends to store all their tools in the garage, along with batteries, fuel, light bulbs, rope, old clothes, hiking boots, winter coats and freezers full of food – some people even keep their cars in there! Garages are also safer areas to scavenge in than houses as you are more likely to encounter the zombified inhabitants still in situ in their living room where they thought they were safe. People often opt for comfort over security in these situations and nine out of ten homeowners would prefer to die in their own houses than in their garage (the other one out of ten actually lived in his garage so the results there are a bit cloudy).

Although I have been extolling the virtue of the humble garage I would not go so far as recommending it as a safe house. Although they are generally secure, should the main entrance beome compromised it is a very large opening for a lot of zombies to pour through at the same time, leaving you little time for response or manoeuvre. Also, they are on the ground floor and as we all know the higher up you go, the safer you are. No, just leave garages for your shopping trips – you’ll be surprised at what you find.