STICK

The ultimate fighting weapon. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise!

It can be found almost anywhere, comes in varying weights, sizes and colours to suit any survivor and can be adapted to be a multi-purpose bludgeoning and stabbing weapon merely by whittling the end to a point. If you don’t have the means to do this you can snap it at an angle and the break should form a point (this then becomes more than just a stick, this then becomes the BPS – big pointy stick. You will be truly blessed to own one of these).

The stick is one of the safest weapons a survivor can own with minimal danger of causing damage to yourself whilst using it. Apart from a few splinters and unless you accidentally fall on the point or hit yourself in the face with it, you are highly unlikely to sustain any injuries from the use of a stick in battle. More people are killed worldwide each year by accidents with their own guns than accidents with their own sticks.

Depending on the length of the stick it can also be used to aid walking or to carry goods (you could sling it over your shoulder like Dick Whittington or across both shoulders like a coy but alluring milkmaid).

You can break windows with it, force open doors and cupboards. You can even cut notches on it to count how many days have gone by/zombies you’ve killed/yellow cars you’ve seen. You can use it as a measuring pole, or to check how deep water is, or to prod things to see if they’re dead. You can knock things off tall shelves with a stick as well as use it as a back scratcher when you get an itch in a particularly hard place to reach. You can catch fish with it and play lawn darts. You can draw maps in the sand and also use it to pole-vault over walls and fences. There are many other uses for the humble stick, and if you can name me any other weapon that is as versatile then I shall eat my stick. (Eating sticks is not one of the many uses of a stick as our bodies cannot digest the cellulose. I was merely being pedantic as I know for a fact that you will find no other weapon that is as versatile as a stick. Not even a Swiss army knife. You just try using the very small screwdriver to kill a zombie – or the nail clippers.)