GOLF CLUBS

A golf club is a golf club. You just pick it up and smash it into a zombie’s skull. Yes? No! Of course, any golf club can be used to dispose of an undead pest, but if you’re going to do a job you might as well do it properly and use the best tool for the job.

Golf clubs fall into four main categories: woods, irons, hybrids and putters. Each of these categories is used for a different purpose.

For the sake of simplicity (and so as not to get angry letters from golfing experts) here is a golfing club breakdown:

The wood is for long distance shots, the iron is for more difficult shots approaching the green (i.e. over the rough, through trees etc.), hybrids encompass the virtues of both woods and irons, and putters are used for shorter flat shots that require good aim.

As putters are used for short-distance ball-hitting they are not built to withstand heavy usage so we must immediately relegate them to the bottom of our list.

When it comes to woods, it will make a difference depending on if you are using an older or newer set of clubs. Older woods are made from wood, whereas newer woods are made of more durable metals. If it is a wood wood then discard it. Metal is always better.

The most durable club is an iron. They are built for working in the rough so have to withstand the possibility of smacking a tree stump or badger, but don’t necessarily have the weight behind them to allow for longer distance hitting.

This leaves us with the hybrid, which with the distance power of a wood and the familiar swing of an iron makes it a perfect brain-smushing weapon

For those unfamiliar with the world of golfing we would suggest finding out what a hybrid looks like now as you don’t want to be wasting time during an attack scrabbling through a golf bag searching for the correct club whilst a zombie is bearing down on you. Just ensure that if you are not a regular golf player you choose a club with an A-Flex shaft to maximise your swing. Of course, the pros amongst you should always stick with an X-Flex; you know what I’m talking about… I’m glad somebody does.