UNDERGROUND

Most zombie survival manuals will tell you that it is unwise to head underground when the apocalypse has begun and that you should get as high up as possible to avoid being attacked by the undead. This is good advice. Advice that I have also given out on a regular basis, but there is one thing to bear in mind when you make your sanctuary at the top of a great big building that is surrounded by zombies. How are you going to get out to stock up on more supplies?

There is the possibility that you could use bed sheets or stapled together bits of old newspaper to construct a basic parachute or hand glider but these can be difficult to steer and could land you in the middle of a horde.

If you are an adept tightrope walker this is also an option, but how are you going to get the tightrope attached at the other end? And don’t even think about walking across a telephone line – they can’t even carry calls sometimes.

Finally there is the option to jump across to the adjoining building. A small gap may just be manageable but should you miss and plummet to the ground below, I’m sure that may hurt just a bit.

If you have managed to secure a safe location from the ground floor up though, your safest option is to create a subterranean tunnel system, one that attaches to sewer systems, tube lines, ancient tombs and other such undergroundy places.

It is a common misconception that you will run into multiple zombies if you venture underground. If a zombie is not reanimated in an underground area then there is no reason for it to head there. Once they have carried out their initial carnage, zombies are more liable to migrate across land in order to seek out bands of survivors to attack and are highly unlikely to accidentally end up in a storm drain en masse (see Migration).

That is not to say that you will not run into any of the dead if you use pre-existing underground tunnels. There is always the possibility that one or two of them may have ended up down there, so do still be vigilant.

The same rules also apply regarding panic zones (see Panic Zones) and any underground areas attached to hospitals or escape routes (e.g. subway stations, airport car parks) which may also be heavily infected.

This won’t be a problem, though, if you dig your own tunnel system. All you need is a basic knowledge of the area you are in and a good idea of where you want your tunnel to end up. You will also need something to dig with (your hands will do if you can’t find a spoon) and something to stop the roof of your tunnel caving in. If you do not dig the tunnel deep enough then zombies are liable to fall through the floor into your tunnel and gain access to your safe house – don’t say I didn’t warn you, as I’m not being held accountable should you end up making a botch-up of your great escape plan.

ad there. you have perfected one tunnel you could consider the possibility of creating an entire network of tunnels that connect safe houses and supply locations across the city. You could even build huge underground caverns where you can house millions and hold mass raves before heading off to fight your oppressors. And you could call the place Zion. And ruin a perfectly good trilogy in the process. Actually let’s just stick to one tunnel for now. From your safe house to Kentucky Fried Chicken. The brave new world can wait.

Dr Dale's Zombie Dictionary
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