LORRAINE KELLY

Forget Chuck Norris, Jean Claude Van Damme, Arnie and Bruce Lee, this mistress of morning television is the perfect person to have around in the apocalypse. Her life as a reporter has meant she has amassed a gargantuan amount of information that pertains to all walks of life. This could come in handy once civilisation starts to break down. For instance, she has filmed her own fitness videos, meaning that she is in peak physical condition; during her early morning shows on Sky, episodes of ER were shown meaning that she will have learnt how to carry out all manner of surgical procedures that could help significantly when the apocalypse begins (especially if a helicopter falls on you). She is also used to functioning on very few hours of sleep, all the while balancing family life with show business extravagance and early morning broadcasts. Compared to all that, dealing with midnight attacks from the undead will be a doddle.

She is also always so upbeat and jolly that she would be the perfect companion to have along for the journey to keep up the team morale. She’ll regale you with fascinating tales of her life – releasing cheetahs into the wilds of Namibia or guest-hosting The Paul O’Grady Show. Also, as a result of being involved in secret government testing, she can hear any sound regardless of distance, volume or frequency, is imbued with great strength and can move up to speeds of over 200mph (that last bit might actually be the bionic woman, but you never know with Lorraine).