QUARANTINE

I think I may have already mentioned that there is no cure for the zombie virus. That means that allowing anyone near you who may even vaguely, possibly have been bitten by something that may or may not have been a zombie should be killed immediately. By killing their brain. In a fashion that kills them.

This means that you should disregard the idea of quarantine. It is a pointless endeavour with so many flaws. Even top-secret scientists with top-secret labs and top-secret quarantine chambers that are made from fully reinforced glass are not safe when operating quarantine procedures. Do you people not watch the movies?

Let’s look at an example. Let’s say that your brother may have been bitten. You’re not sure so you don’t want to kill his brain without positive proof. The only positive proof you’re going to get is when he finally transforms. Now, you could argue that all you would do is wait for him to get ill before taking the decision to dispose of him, but I’m not buying that. You’d only make the excuse that it could be a cold, or shock, or heroin addiction that was making him turn pale and shake. You’d wait until he actually died before contemplating any brain killing. But here are some points to take into consideration:

Do you have a glass room where you can contain him and also watch him continually at the same time? No? So you’re planning to just tie him to a chair and lock him in a room without 24-hour surveillance leaving the possibility that he may die and reanimate and escape and kill you all before anyone notices. Oh! That wasn’t the plan? You were going to tie him to a chair in a locked room and rotate surveillance on him by actually being in the room. As in, be in the room with someone who isn’t a zombie and thus cut down on the people guarding the safe house against actual real zombies? OK, no, sorry, I wasn’t being condescending, that sounds really sensible.

So when he dies, you’re going to go right up to his body and check his pulse just to make sure he’s dead even though you don’t know how quickly he’s going to reanimate. You’re not? So how do you know he’s dead? He may just be sleeping and then if you shoot him you could be killing someone who wasn’t dead. Oh! You’re going to wait until he reanimates! Even though he may immediately come round and attack you and will be moving erratically making it more difficult to guarantee a head shot. Plus, if you don’t have a long-range weapon you’re going to have to get up close and put yourself at risk of being bitten. And then you may sustain a wound that may or may not be a bite and the whole damn quarantine rigmarole will have to begin all over again. Do you really want me to adopt this sarcastic tone again and explain for a second time everything that could possibly go wrong with using quarantines?