‘Quick, turn right now!’

‘That won’t get us out of the city!’

‘It will! Trust me! Turn right!’

‘Full right or bear right?’

‘You missed it! Damn it!’

‘It’s OK, I’ll go down here! Damn! Where did those bollards come from?’

‘Reverse! Reverse!’

‘It’s one way!’

‘It’s a zombie apocalypse, it doesn’t matter! Quick, cut down that alley!’

‘This is a pedestrian area!’

‘Turn right. Now!’

‘But we need to be over the other side of town!’

‘I know what I’m doing!’

‘What the hell is that blocking the road?’

‘It depicts the flourish of youth that lives within the life of us all.’

‘It looks like a few hunks of rusted metal with a fibre optic light in it.’

‘Cost the council three million pounds.’

‘I shouldn’t really run it over then.’

‘Go down this road here.’

‘But we’ve driven past that Starbucks three times now!’

‘Turn right!’

‘But we need to be over the other side of the canal!’

‘Watch those speed bumps!’

‘Who put those bollards there?’

‘Oh screw this, I’m just going to get out and let the zombies eat me.’