FILM

Many people would not appreciate the merits of sitting in a darkened room surrounded by empty Wotsit packets, pizza boxes and coffee cups watching horror films. They would prefer to go for a jog around the block in order to be in peak physical condition in preparation for the apocalypse. Whilst I fully support exercise as essential to a decent training regime, so is research and the only way we can research zombies is by watching films.

A zombie apocalypse has not yet happened so our only source of reference is the imagination of such masters as Romero and Pegg. Although some of the technicalities may not be correct (Day of the Dead 20/i>, for example – I don’t think we’ll ever see vegetarian zombies or watch them disintegrate when touched by flame) they provide us with some noteworthy combat and survival ideas. Who previously would have thought of using LPs as weapons prior to Shaun of the Dead? The issue of zombies underwater had never really been broached prior to Land of the Dead and to give Day of the Dead 2008 some credit, zombies may well inadvertently let off a machine gun. Who knows? And that is the point – nobody does know and we won’t until it finally happens, but we need to attain as much information as possible for every available scenario if we are going to be prepared. So yes, go for a jog around the block, but also watch zombie films. Lots of them! (We also recommend interspersing the horrors with the occasional romantic comedy just to take the edge off. And maybe some porn? But not if you’re eating Wotsits as that will turn your penis orange.)