SOUNDTRACK

Music can be an excellent motivator, but if there is an apocalypse raging outside, we wouldn’t recommend playing any tunes at full volume to pump yourself up prior to battle for the obvious reasons (it will draw the undead to you). Neither would we endorse using an iPod, MP3 player or a Walkman cassette personal stereo as this will plug up your ears and leave you open to a surprise attack. Instead, we suggest that you invent a playlist of music in your head that you can ‘play’ as a soundtrack for your life as you go about your daily business of surviving the undead. This niques as two points in its favour:

Firstly, the aforementioned motivational aspect of music. Studies have proved that music played both before and during intense workouts has improved the performance of athletes by, on average, 23%*.

Secondly, whilst you are imagining music playing in your head you aren’t really allowing your brain to think about all the horror, blood, guts, gore and undeadliness that is occurring around you – thus desensitising your own mind and allowing you to complete your tasks more effectively.

The music you decide to use in your own personal ‘soundtrack’ is completely up to you as you will be the most aware of your own personal musical preferences – but here are a few suggestions of styles of music and individual songs that you can utilise for specific situations.

Preparation for Battle

This is when you should be playing any music that can be described as ‘high octane’. The average bpm (beats per minute) should be anywhere between 120–140. Rock music is better than dance music at this stage as the guitar solos and middle eights with their power chords, key changes, and tempo can instil a sense of anticipation and power.

During Battle

You need something with a bit more kick, unrelenting pumping, non-stop action. This is where dance music will come into play. Don’t go for the watered-down chart fodder, though. You need a bouncing, happy hardcore baseline to get you through an unrelenting battle with the zombie masses. Alternatively, if you are doing battle with a large stick or broom handle as your weapon of choice then add ‘Me Ole Bamboo’ from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang to your soundtrack.

After the Battle

You’ve won, and a sense of relief and exhaustion washes over you. As you make your way back to safety, remember that this is only one battle you have won. There’s a long way to go yet before the war is over, so don’t go for anything too cheery and upbeat. Maybe, ‘We’ve Made it Through the Rain’ by Barry Manilow or ‘We’ve Only Just Begun’ by the Carpenters. Allow yourself to relax.

Fortifying Your Safe House or Any Other Task of Importance

There’s nothing like a good Eighties montage sequence to get you through these sometimes dull but extremely important tasks. Get the theme from Footloose playing in your head and that job will be over before it’s begun.

Saying Goodbye to a Dying Friend

You can go for the obvious choices at this stage like ‘Candle in the Wind’ by Elton John or ‘My Heart Will Go On’ by Celine Dion; or how about that old karaoke favourite ‘I Will Always Love You’ by Whitney Houston? But, let’s be honest, they’re all a bit cheesy and also slightly depressing. Maybe you should go with something a little more ironic whilst your best friend lies dying in your arms. How about ‘I Used to Love Her’ by Guns and Roses or ‘We’re All Gonna Die Someday’ by Kasey Chambers? That’ll lighten the mood slightly.