OTHER SURVIVORS

In an apocalypse we won’t just have the zombies to worry about. Oh, no siree, Bob. And I’m not just talking about those troublesome authorities or even those loony bins who crack under the pressure. There are also the other – quite ‘sane’ – survivors to worry about, who may end up being your downfall. And we wouldn’t want you being popped off by just another plain, old human being. Here’s a few of the rotters that you’ll need to look out for:

The cultist

Whenever there’s a disaster there’s always a religious leader around to take advantage of people’s fear and confusion. Even if all the religious leaders have been torn asunder by their zombified choirboys, there will always be someone left who believes that they have been chosen to lead the new dawn and become the divine one. Their reasoning is that God has spared them and you do wonder if maybe God did have some kind of plan for this kind of person because it’s a mystery how they would have survived thus far without any divine intervention.

The reason you need to be wary around these people is that they have usually amassed a group of followers who will do anything their leader commands (under the misapprehension that it is the word of the Lord) and if the leader sees you as a threat he may set his legions on you to retain his control or force you to join them and wear a silly mask and a yellow anorak. Death or a Difficult choice.

The hoarder

People who were organised when the apocalypse first began. They have managed to secure a great deal of highly sought-after supplies and will part with them for no amount of begging or bartering. Usually they will have moved the supplies to one main, extremely secure holding area, but in some cases they may have ‘staked a claim’ on other buildings, such as warehouses or large stores, where it is easier to leave the items in situ than move them. In this case you will be classed as a looter if you are found raiding these buildings and may be punished or killed. It is best to pay heed to any signs of territory and move on. There will be enough supplies to be found in the next town or village.

The highwayman

The ones who rob you. I think that it’s pretty self-explanatory what the problem with these guys is. Yes, that’s right. They come in and reorganise your kitchen so you can’t find anything. No! They rob you! Steal your stuff! All your stuff! Including, but not limited to, your stuff! All of it! Kill them.

The Soloist

That lone wolf who sits brooding in a darkened room smoking an endless supply of cigarettes and toting his bloodied hunting knife. He wears nothing but his ripped jeans (mid-blue) and a sleeveless combat jacket to show off his rippling tattooed arms. The stubble on his face is indiscernible from the dirt and dried blood. He has usually decided to go it alone because his entire family was annihilated within the first few minutes of the outbreak and he has vowed to destroy every last zombie.

He is reckless and doesn’t take orders, and he wouldn’t think twice about killing you should you distract him from his mission. Stay away from him. He may be strong and deadly but he’s also extremely depressing to be around and will ruin any party you decide to have. 

The master

‘I’m king of the world!’ No – he’s neither Jack Dawson nor James Cameron accepting an Oscar. This survivor thinks that due to the death of all others he is rightful ruler of the city/country/world/universe (depending on what this person believes they rule could topple them over into our insanity segment). It is quite likely that they are also ‘hoarders’ with a large store of supplies that they won’t share.

The difference between being a master as well as a hoarder is that they are attempting to instil their own form of law onto the land that doesn’t just bear on looting. They may wish to take several wives. They could charge taxes for travelling across their land. They could enslave you. Like ‘cultists’, they will have a large group of followers who will do their bidding.

These followers are not as stable as a religious following, though, as they will only stay loyal to those in power. Either way, you really need to avoid these guys, as the last thing you need to become involved in is a turf war whilst the undead are still lumbering around. The master also has a tendency for complacency as he sits resting on his laurels, which will ultimately lead to him being bitten.

The Shoot-firsters

As you go sauntering down a deserted street minding your own business, taking in the fresh air and looking for food and weapons, the last thing you expect is for a bullet to embed itself between your eyes. There are survivors out there, though, who understandably will shoot or kill anything that moves.

When travelling the streets you must react as if you are in a war zone. Don’t just keep your eyes open at ground level for the undead. You also need to look above for signs of life just to make sure that you don’t get shot or get a piano dropped on you, or a sofa, or a filing cabinet, or a bed or a… Actually, the list is endless really so I’m going to stop there. Suffice to say that other survivors may drop things off buildings hoping to hit you thinking that you’re a zombie. Actually, it’s unlikely they’d drop a tulip on you so maybe the list isn’t endless, after all. You get the point though.

The Meek

It is said that the meek shall inherit the Earth. Not bleedin’ likely, matey. Not if they continue to weep and wail and wander aimlessly about putting themselves directly in harm’s way so that they constantly have to be rescued. The meek will just get killed is what’ll happen, and then they’ll turn into zombies and then they’ll take over the world… Oh! I see what it’s getting at now!