SKY FLOWERS

Or, as people of sound mind prefer to call them, fireworks. Some believe that if you shoot fireworks into the air zombies will be distracted by the shiny, pretty lights and you will be able to pass by them unseen as they all stare up into the night sky. They may even go ‘Oooooh’ and ‘Ahhhhh’ at the same time – who knows?

Other techniques that may distract zombies are shooting flares in the sky, dressing someone in a fibre-optic suit and making them dance on top of a building, giving them tickets to the Fantasia water and light show at MGM studios or shouting ‘Hey, look over there!’ whilst pointing behind them.

Please feel free to try any or all of these techniques if you wish and let me know if they work by sending a copy of your death certificate to my publisher’s address.