SPEED

OK, gang! It’s hot potato time. Now, I know for a fact that the real zombie enthusiast and survivalist will have skipped through the rest of the book to get to this entry first. They will probably be reading this in the shop to ensure that I know what I’m talking about prior to purchasing the book. That is how important this particular topic is in the world of zombie survivalism. If you didn’t skip to this bit of the book first and are now feeling devalued as a reader then just put the book down and pick it up and skip straight to this bit and then we’ll just pretend that’s what you did when you first got the Zombie Dictionary home. No one will know any different. It will just be our little secret. You’ll know next time though, won’t you? Speed is the big debate in apocalypse town so here goes: let’s talk about the speed of zombies.

Do zombies move fast or slowly? It is an interesting question and if I am to answer it correctly then we need to base this on scientific fact rather than what is ‘artistically preferable’ for the genre of zombies in the media.

The truth of the matter is that zombies would mostly be slow moving. The degradation of their muscles, bones and body overall would severely limit their movement and it would be highly likely that given time, and depending on the speed of that degradation, a zombie will actually become slower and slower, eventually coming to a halt and collapsing. That’s not to say it wouldn’t attempt to keep moving by dragging itself along the floor but even then, that would be a slow process.

This means that ‘newer’ zombies will have the edge on their more rotted counterparts and this is where I’m going to be a bit excitable and off the wall. Depending on the time it takes for a corpse to reanimate and the health of the person prior to death, it is likely that there will be a limited period of time when a zombie will be capable of moving at the maximum speed it did when it was a living person.

Allow me to explain before you set this book alight and then attempt to seek me out to do the same. If we are to follow a scientific approach to zombie survival, rather than completely relying on the mythology and films surrounding the myth, we need to look at what happens to a corpse in real life – or real death.

Once a person dies, lividity will begin from between twenty minutes to three hours from the time of death. This is where the blood, which is no longer being pumped through the body, will sink to the lowest point in the body and pool there. Rigor mortis will also set in at around three hours after death. Both these factors will aid in slowing the zombie down. With blood pooled in its legs and stiff limbs they will not be able to move very fast at all. But neither of these things occur until three hours after death. If a corpse were to reanimate prior to this three-hour deadline, there is the possibility that at the onset of their reanimation zombies will still retain their normal speed until rigor mortis, lividity and rotting begins.

Remember, though, that zombies will only retain the maximum speed that they had when alive, so a young, healthy zombie would be able to move much faster than an old, feeble zombie.

ght=ght="0em" width="1em">Speed is an important debate in the world of zombie survivalists and some of those more avid fans of the subject have become so convinced of their own belief that they are unwilling to entertain the possibility of another point of view.

That is not the way of the true survivor. Let me reiterate. The apocalypse has not happened yet. There has never been an account of a corpse rising. We do not know with any certainty what will happen and what form mankind’s nemesis will take. We must be prepared for anything – even if that goes against our very beliefs – and scientifically there is the possibility that some zombies may not be slow. Bear that fact in mind – or you could end up dead. Very quickly.