KATANA

The melee weapon of melee weapons. Damn the machete! Throw down that spear! I spit on your chainsaw and ridicule your big pointy stick. Zombie survivalists the world over revel in the shiny loveliness of the Japanese beauty that is known as the katana. With a curved blade of over 60 cm and a squared guard and broad handle ideal for two-handed usage, it is renowned for its cutting ability almost to the level of mythological proportions. Kevin Costner was seen dropping a silk scarf over one in a sexy manner in The Bodyguard (if that doesn’t make you want to rush out and buy one I don’t know what will).

Also, it’s illegal to own one in the UK due to an amendment to the Offensive Weapons Order of 2008, so unfortunately you’ll just have to go back to using that big pointy stick. Or move to Japan.