CHAPTER TEN
Pop woke up at three the next morning, bathed with
sweat and peering fearfully into the dark. The clocks had just
begun another weary run at the hour.
It was not this sound which awakened him, although
it could have done, since he was not upstairs in his bed but down
below, in the shop itself. The Emporium Galorium was a cave of
darkness crowded with hulking shadows created by the streetlamp
outside, which managed to send just enough light through the dirty
plate-glass windows to create the unpleasant feeling of things
hiding beyond the borders of vision.
It wasn’t the clocks that woke him; it was the
flash.
He was horrified to find himself standing in his
pajamas beside his worktable with the Polaroid Sun 660 in his
hands. The “special” drawer was open. He was aware that, although
he had taken only a single picture, his finger had been pushing the
button which triggered the shutter again and again and again. He
would have taken a great many more than the one that protruded from
the slot at the bottom of the camera but for simple good luck.
There had only been a single picture left in the film pack
currently in the camera.
Pop started to lower his arms—he had been holding
the camera pointed toward the front of the shop, the viewfinder
with its minute hairline crack held up to one open, sleeping
eye—and when he got them down as far as his ribcage, they began to
tremble and the muscles holding the hinges of his elbows just
seemed to give way. His arms fell, his fingers opened, and the
camera tumbled back into the “special” drawer with a clatter. The
picture he had taken slipped from the slot and fluttered. It struck
one edge of the open drawer, teetered first one way as if it would
follow the camera in, and then the other. It fell on the
floor.
Heart attack, Pop thought incoherently.
I’m gonna have a goddam Christing heart attack.
He tried to raise his right arm, wanting to massage
the left side of his chest with the hand on the end of it, but the
arm wouldn’t come. The hand on the end of it dangled as limp as a
dead man at the end of a hangrope. The world wavered in and out of
focus. The sound of the clocks (the tardy ones were just finishing
up) faded away to distant echoes. Then the pain in his chest
diminished, the light seemed to come back a little, and he realized
all he was doing was trying to faint.
He made to sit down in the wheeled chair behind the
worktable, and the business of lowering himself into the seat, like
the business of lowering the camera, began all right, but before he
had gotten even halfway down, those hinges, the ones that
strapped his thighs and calves together by way of his knees, also
gave way and he didn’t so much sit in the chair as cave into it. It
rolled a foot backward, struck a crate filled with old Life
and Look magazines, and stopped.
Pop put his head down, the way you were supposed to
do when you felt lightheaded, and time passed. He had no idea at
all, then or later, how much. He might even have gone back to sleep
for a little while. But when he raised his head, he was more or
less all right again. There was a steady dull throbbing at his
temples and behind his forehead, probably because he had stuffed
his goddam noodle with blood, hanging it over so long that way, but
he found he could stand up and he knew what he had to do. When the
thing had gotten hold of him so badly it could make him walk in his
sleep, then make him (his mind tried to revolt at that verb, that
make, but he wouldn’t let it) take pictures with it, that
was enough. He had no idea what the goddam thing was, but one thing
was clear: you couldn’t compromise with it.
Time to do what you should have let the boy do
in the first place.
Yes. But not tonight. He was exhausted, drenched
with sweat, and shivering. He thought he would have his work cut
out for him just climbing the stairs to his apartment again, let
alone swinging that sledge. He supposed he could do the job in
here, simply pick it out of the drawer and dash it against the
floor again and again, but there was a deeper truth, and he’d
better own up to it: he couldn’t have any more truck with that
camera tonight. The morning would be time enough ... and the camera
couldn’t do any damage between now and then, could it? There was no
film in it.
Pop shut the drawer and locked it. Then he got up
slowly, looking more like a man pushing eighty than seventy, and
tottered slowly to the stairs. He climbed them one at a time,
resting on each, clinging to the bannister (which was none too
solid itself) with one hand while he held his heavy bunch of keys
on their steel ring in the other. At last he made the top. With the
door shut behind him, he seemed to feel a little stronger. He went
back into his bedroom and got into bed, unaware as always of the
strong yellow smell of sweat and old man that puffed up when he lay
down—he changed the sheets on the first of every month and called
it good.
I won’t sleep now, he thought, and then:
Yes you will. You will because you can, and you can because
tomorrow morning you’re going to take the sledge and pound that
fucking thing to pieces and there’s an end to it.
This thought and sleep came simultaneously, and Pop
slept without dreaming, almost without moving, all the rest of that
night. When he woke he was astonished to hear the clocks downstairs
seeming to chime an extra stroke, all of them: eight instead of
seven. It wasn’t until he looked at the light falling across the
floor and wall in a slightly slanted oblong that he realized it
really was eight; he had overslept for the first time in ten
years. Then he remembered the night before. Now, in daylight, the
whole episode seemed less weird; had he nearly fainted? Or
was that maybe just a natural sort of weakness that came to a
sleepwalker when he was unexpectedly wakened?
But of course, that was it, wasn’t it? A little
bright morning sunshine wasn’t going to change that central fact:
he had walked in his sleep, he had taken at least one
picture and would have taken a whole slew of them if there had been
more film in the pack.
He got up, got dressed, and went downstairs,
meaning to see the thing in pieces before he even had his morning’s
coffee.