Chapter 31

“Please talk to me Abbie.”

I twirled around with a sharp intake of breath. “Adam, oh my god, you scared me!”

“Will you talk to me?”

I knew he was serious, telling and not asking, really annoying!

“I told you last time, there is no WE. WE are over.” I turned and started walking away when he grabbed me by the arm spinning me back to him.

“Get the fuck off of me!” I yelled as I yanked myself away. He let go checking around to see if he had been seen. There were a few people gathering outside and they were watching and whispering. I was used to causing a scene so I ignored it, but I’m glad they were there because it gave me my opportunity to walk away without too much fuss.

I went back inside the youth club to the disco and walked over by the stage near the Disc Jockey. Imagination’s chart song Body Talk came on next. It got lots of people up dancing, even the DJ came down onto the dance floor. As I looked around, my friends were walking out of the door with the older lads waving at me, giving me a girly giggle wave goodbye.

Great! Now what? That’s me dumped and left alone while Adam’s outside! Just as I thought I had no hope of getting home without him following me, he walked in. I was really totally fed up now. I could feel myself starting to lose my temper and I threw him a warning look not to come near me. He edged away and stood near the tuck shop, propping the counter up. I moved to the other side of the hall where it was a little less crowded and started dancing. Yeah, I was on my own but I didn’t know what else to do, and to be fair I didn’t care.

There was a group of girls dancing around there handbags and a few other girls dancing with boyfriends. I moved over near the DJ who was still dancing away to Imagination and smiled at him. He looked around behind himself to check it was him I was smiling at and then smiled back at me. He seemed to be shocked I would smile at him. He wasn’t the normal sort of guy I’d flirt with or dance with either. The first thing I noticed about him was how perfect his teeth were. I was always a bit conscious of mine since the accident but his were straight and white. I danced close to him for a while then he pulled me in.

He has a bit of a nerve. Who is he anyway? He was flipping lucky I didn’t belt him one for his cheek. I had seen him around school. He had often looked at me but his tongue was out drawling when we had passed each other at school so I secretly knew that he liked me. All I knew about him was that he was in the same year.

I felt uncomfortable dancing with him though. Mods didn’t do that sort of thing, especially in public, dancing that close and with a grebo too. A “soul head” we called them, no identity because they followed the crowd like sheep. If my friends could see me now my image would be all but done in. I committed mod suicide.

His arms were soft but strong and warm around me, gently pulling me in. Curling closer into the snug concave of his arms, I know I sighed. I just hope he didn’t hear it. It seemed so wrong but so right, and I didn’t even know his name. For once I was happy inhaling his soft scent as I looked up into his gorgeous hazel eyes. The feelings were so real. I had never felt that way before and certainly not with a stranger. What is he doing to me? Realisation hit me of the purity of the moment, and I would treasure it forever. Even if I didn’t ever see him again, I would remember the feeling of security wrapped in his strong arms. I loved it but was scared by its speed and severity. I might never feel this again, I thought. Is this what I’ve been longing for? Does it really exist? A massive urge took over. I wanted to absorb him and keep holding on and never let go. I needed to know everything about him, because after I had felt such closeness, the world would be unbearably cold and lifeless without it.

“My name is Abbie,” I looked up into his face searching his soul. He was about six feet tall with dark brown hair and olive skin. Perfect skin, I thought and perfect teeth.

“I know,” he laughed, smiling at me. “Back in a tick, got to change the song.” He ran up to the stage.

How did he know my name? I looked over and Adam was glaring at me. I could see the poison in his face. He was hurting watching me flirt away with the DJ, but did nothing, just stared.

The DJ came back and said, “Oh, my name is Lawrie, nice to meet you.” He held out his hand.

I grinned and offered him my hand to shake his, in a jokey kind of way.

“Nice to meet you too.”

We spent the evening together, laughing and dancing. I hadn’t had so much fun in years. To be able to enjoy myself without worrying whether I looked cool was a first. The hours passed quicker than ever and before I knew it, it was time to go home. I really didn’t want the night to end, it was all too magical. I had feelings rushing around my body I never knew existed. He gave me a lift home on his red 100cc Suzuki motorbike. That was a change too. I had never ridden pillion on a motorbike.

We sat outside my house until we couldn’t take the cold anymore. I wasn’t saying much just curled up in his arms keeping warm, taking in his scent and loving every minute of the silence. It was nice not having to fill the space with words that meant nothing, just being with him was enough.

We spent most days together for a few weeks, mostly riding around on his bike or he would come round to my place and play games on the Atari. Maggie didn’t really like him, but then she didn’t like any of my boyfriends.

“Can you come over to mine today,” Lawrie asked on the phone. “We’ve got the flat to ourselves,” he said cheekily.

“Oh great, are they out all day?”

“Yup! I’ll hire a movie too, see you in awhile,” he hung up and I ran to get ready.

When we got there his parents weren’t in, so he gave me the grand tour of his flat and then we settled on the couch where we watched a movie together. All I remember after that was waking up laying on him. I quickly got up thinking of how awkward that must have been. Wiping my mouth, did I dribble? But he didn’t say anything so we just laughed it off. I sat back down and we watched another movie holding hands.

It was getting late in the morning but that didn’t really matter. We started to just talk after a while. Part way through a sentence he stopped and closed in on my face and kissed me. I sat there kind of expecting it and then he laughed and kissed me again. This guy’s cheeky, and I like it. I kissed him back and then we started to get a bit intense. We moved into his bedroom and onto his bed clothes flying everywhere. He ended up on top of me and he put his hand up my shirt feeling around, which led to me taking off his shirt. One by one our bits of clothing found there way to the floor. Then he asked me nicely if I wanted to have sex with him.

“Yes!” I said. He didn’t need to ask because for the first time in my life I actually wanted it to happen.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

“As ready as I will ever be.”

“I love you, Abbie”

At first I thought, That was quick! But then I said, “I love you too.” I knew I loved him straight away but I was afraid to say it.

Lawrie said he had fallen for me when I had started at the school. I hadn’t really noticed him that much, but he noticed me and admired me from a distance.

“Are you okay, Abbie. . .are you okay?”

“Stop asking me if I am okay,” I laughed. “I’m fine, honest.”

He was so concerned he would hurt me, maybe because I froze I don’t know. Although I can’t say it was amazing having sex, it felt amazing being with him. It wasn’t the sex, it was how he made me feel. After we finished we just lay there and cuddled while he told me how much he had always loved me and that whatever happened, he would always be there for me.

Yeah, I’ve heard that before. It all sounded and felt too good to be true.

The sound of keys in the front door brought us back to our senses a bit sharpish. In a fit of giggles we rushed around putting some clothes on before his parents came in.