Chapter 26

The loud knock on my door got my attention. No one ever knocked on my door, especially Evie.

“Mail,” she called out.

“Wow! Now that is novel,” I said taking the small blue envelope and closing the door. “Thank you.”

The letter was marked with a stamp saying it had been opened and checked. That aroused my interest straight away. Well, you don’t see letters stamped that way very often, I thought. It was from Dave. He had been detained in a military prison. I had to read it twice for it to sink in. Why on Earth would he be in prison?

The letter went on to explain that he had smoked some weed on the night we were supposed to meet in Leicester, and how he was sorry. Blah, fucking Blah. He said nothing actually happened with the girls, they were just friends. Sure, does he think I’m stupid? Because he rarely did dope, he said it totally blew his mind. He had been AWOL--absent without leave--in order to meet me.

By all accounts the police had recorded the phone number I had on me and figured out I had written down his friend’s number and traced Dave there. I had a rush of guilt. I never thought for one moment he would have gone AWOL to be with me. The guilt didn’t last long though. Well! Serves him right for not turning up to meet me when he should. If he had met me as arranged, he wouldn’t have got caught, would he? We could have been happily living together now, away from all the crap, if he had just kept his side of the bargain.

The letter went on to say he had spent ages trying to get hold of me and that he had finally managed to get in touch with Albert. Albert wrote back to him and gave him my address. The letter was full of mushy stuff, but I had moved on and it had been almost six months since that fateful night in Leicester. Does he really think that I’d still be waiting? I didn’t even reply. What was there to say?

When I came back after going out for a walk up the beach, there was a letter under my door. It was from Lilly. She had rang Evie and asked her to tell me that she was finally free from her grounding, so I got busy planning our next weekend away. The Canterbury lads were all looking forward to meeting Lilly, they had heard so much about her. She must be nice, she was my friend after all.

We were on our way to the local youth club, coke and crisps were cheap and it was somewhere to hang out. The roads were a bit icy but that never stopped us going anywhere. I was riding pillion to J and we were coming up to a sharp bend in the road. The next thing I knew I was being dragged along the ground on my back by the scooter. I didn’t feel any pain, but I remembered grabbing air and trying to reach for something, anything. The road beneath me and my trapped leg were going so fast, I was unable stop myself. But before I knew it, the scooter stopped sliding on the grass bank at the side of the road. Amazing how despite the speed it felt like everything was in slow motion!

I remained trapped under the scooter and in some pain. It took a while for me to realise what happened. My mouth must have come in contact with the road at some point because my two front teeth were broken in half. I asked someone, “Where are my teeth?” I also remembered J standing there with his hands on his head aghast, mumbling something about no insurance. “Look at the state of my scooter,” he cried.

Never fuckin’ mind the state of your scooter. What about me?

Some strangers tried to pull the scooter off my leg. I was shouting to make them hurry. It really wasn’t helping, but I was in a bit of a panic. I let out a scream as the scooter was lifted, my leg still attached. One of the mirror rods had gone all the way through my knee. I took one look and passed out!

The Ambulance driver was beside me when I came around, telling me to breathe through the mask. I don’t know how they got the rod out of my leg, but by the time I arrived at the hospital most of it was gone. I thought, Where the hell is J? I remembered Lilly calling my name and sitting in the ambulance, then I saw Lilly’s parents at the hospital. I could hear them outside my room telling Evie I could stay with them until I got better, asking, “Where is her family?” I made a mental note to ring Alex and say hello. It must have been a year since I had spoken to him, and that was like trying to pull teeth.

I was discharged from hospital the next day following observations and after they removed a piece of rod out of my knee. X-rays revealed a small piece remained in my leg so I was given a local anaesthetic into my knee and they dug in there and pulled it out. I didn’t feel much. After the doctor checked me over again, I was taken to Lilly’s house.

Lilly’s parents were lovely. They were always kind to me, but secretly I suspected they hated the influence I had over their daughter. They had me to stay for almost two weeks until I was able to get around and look after myself. After that, they dropped me off at my little pad. Lilly’s mum had done a bit of shopping for me, so I didn’t have to worry about food for a while.

Evie’s persistent knocking on the door woke me from my nap. The pain killers were nice as they made me feel very calm and I slept a lot.

“There’s a guy keeps riding his scooter up and down up front,” she said. “I’m guessing it’s for you as he is wearing one of those parka things.”

I stood and looked out of the window but whoever it was had gone. There was no one there I knew. Evie left me to it and I started to doze. I soon heard the beeping sound of a scooter’s horn. It pains me to say so, but it sounded like a child’s bike. I stood up again to look out of the window. It took me a second to register that the face looking up at me was in fact, Dave. Dave? Dave! Panic rushed through me from head to toe.

“Oh shit!” I shouted, running around, doing my hair and putting on makeup. What am I doing? I thought. I hobbled downstairs.

I walked up to the scooter parked outside, held my hands out and shrugged, “Well it only took you six months to find me.”

He got off his scooter and took off his open-faced crash helmet. His scooter looked lovely, metallic blue, and his crash hat matched. His last scooter had been white and showed off every bit of dirt.

“I’ve been staying at a campsite nearby waiting for you. No one knew where you disappeared to, only that you had been in an accident. I didn’t want to go to the hospital just in case I got you in trouble.” He waffled on.

“Okay, well that’s the last two weeks, what about the five and a half months before that? You went to army prison for three months which leaves two and a half months by my calculations.”

“Let’s walk.” He nodded in the direction of the beach and started to walk along the seafront. I don’t know why, but I followed.

“You didn’t reply to my letter?”

“Well you roasted me in Leicester didn’t you?”

“I told you what happened.”

“That wasn’t a reason. Did you expect me to swallow that crap? You left me there alone! I didn’t have anything to say to your letter and I still don’t.”

“But I love you Abbie, I’ve always loved you. It just took me a while for me to realise it.”

“It’s too late Dave. There’s too much water gone under the bridge.” As much as it killed me being so tough with him, I knew I had to be.

“Please Abbie,” he pleaded, his blue eyes begging me to change my mind.

We sat in silence on the beach for about an hour, saying nothing else just watching the sea. Looking up at the night sky lit by the amusement arcades, Dave put his arm around me.

“I am so sorry,” he whispered.

You might say, I started to thaw. I snuggled in close and inhaled the familiarity of him. I loved it.

“Hungry?” he asked.

“No.”

We walked along the beach to the arcades then stopped in a café for some food. After watching him eat for a while, having not been hungry myself, I just hugged my mug of coffee. When Lilly suddenly came bouncing in with a few of the guys, I introduced Dave. We made our excuses and left. For some reason I didn’t want to share Dave with anyone, I guess I felt we needed to be alone.

A huge part of me wanted to ask him to stay, or even say I would go with him wherever he wanted. But I knew we were no good together. I couldn’t trust him. He sat perched on the edge of his scooter and pulled me into him, holding me close.

“You know where to find me if you need anything, including me.” He wrote his parents address on a piece of paper and handed it to me. He put his hands up cupping my face and stroking my hair like he was trying to lock me away in his memory. Then he put on his crash hat and started his scooter.

Why do I do this to myself? I want to go. Why don’t I? I will. No, I won’t. I really don’t know. All I knew for sure was I had feelings for him but I couldn’t trust him. He had let me down and I couldn’t forgive him for that. I’m bad news too. He had lost his army career because of me, what else would he loose if I went with him? I was so confused, and I felt that everything I touched turned to stone.

I watched him drive away

* * *

“OH--MY--GOD!” shouted Lilly when I walked in the café the next morning, “Who the hell was he?”

“Dave.”

“What? ‘THE’ Dave?”

“Yes ‘THE’ Dave, now shut up about him, it’s over.”

“Well if you don’t want him, can I have him then? I bet he’s good shag!” She giggled leaning over and pinching some toast off my plate.

“Lilly! Oh my god, have you got no morals?” I laughed. “Anyway, he’s long gone.”