Chapter 14

A massive reality check struck as I remembered where I was. I heard Maggie’s voice on the other side of the door, but I was told I wasn’t legally permitted to speak to any witnesses prior to the hearing. If I said I wasn’t scared. I would have been lying. I was petrified. With the exception of Albert everyone just spoke at me, dictating this or that or having conversations about me as if I wasn’t even there.

The building was old. It had marble floors and all the furniture was bolted down. The bookshelves were nailed to the walls too. Who is going to steal them? I thought. They would need a lorry. The seats were plastic, similar to the ones you find in the school canteen, and they weren’t in-keeping with the rest of the building. The old stone, antique wood and marble floors were beautiful. I was sure there must be a reason the chairs were made of plastic. I might have been only 15, but I knew what looked good.

“Vandals,” Albert read my mind. “They bolt them down so people can’t throw ‘em.”

”Throw them?” I giggled, as I imagined someone throwing chairs at the Judge while he shouted, “Guilty!” with a plum in his mouth.

In turn my name was called, and Albert stood in the doorway beckoning me to follow. I did so with purpose and pride in my steps. I really didn’t give a toss what this Judge said. I just wanted the whole palaver to be over and done with. Or that’s the impression I wanted to give.

I had a weekender coming up and there was planning to be done. I was going to Margate to meet up with my mates, and it felt like I hadn’t seen them for ages. Dave had taken up quite a lot of my time recently, so I felt like I had neglected the mods. I wanted to make it up to them and go out and have some fun, although Dave was supposed to go along.

The Judge looked pretty normal to be fair, apart from a wig on his head, which he took off as I entered the room. He looked and sounded like a nice guy. There were people on either side of him. It wasn’t the type of court I had imagined from what I had seen on TV.

The Judge told me to sit down and various reports were read. Then the witnesses were asked to stand up and were questioned on their written statements. They even had a report prepared by the school. Of all the nerve, I thought. What business is it of theirs what I was doing at school?

The Judge sat and listened intently, occasionally looking over in my direction. I was yawning and getting totally fed up fidgeting and sighing the whole time, until the Judge called for Maggie. That grabbed my attention.

Maggie walked into the court, looking very smart in a suit. She fit in well with everyone else in suits. As she passed me, she gave me a nervous smile before walking with her eyes fixed on the floor, avoiding the gaze of everyone in the Court. She made her way to the seat where she had been guided by the Court usher. She looked a lot more nervous than I did. Well, serves her right. If she had collected me from the Police station, we wouldn’t be here now would we? The Judge asked her all about me. How long she and dad had been living together? And, what sort of child I was?

Maggie proceeded down her shit list. She told the Judge of all the things I had done since she had been living with dad: the lying, the stealing, how I would run away all the time and that she quite literally had no control over me. She spoke of the kinds of things she had tried to make me stop. “But, no matter what I tried,” she said, “Abbie ignored me.” She continued to tell them how I would steal alcohol and cigarettes and disappear for weekends, sometimes longer. She went on to say that she and dad were worried that something serious would happen to me if someone didn’t take control. She said she had given me her best shot, but she was done trying and couldn’t do any more. “I don’t even WANT to do any more,” she said in a desperate tone.

My mind was reeling. When catalogued like that, I sound awful. But what she and the court failed to realise is at least half of what she listed was actually Alex. At that moment I thought to myself, If only I had told them sooner.

What on Earth was Maggie worried about anyway? I knew she was unaware of my true past. Molly was the only person who knew the full extent of what happened to me. If Maggie had known, I was sure she would have picked me up from the station. She certainly wouldn’t be in Court saying all these nasty things and making me look like shit.

I kept looking around thinking, Where is Alex? Perhaps he hadn’t been allowed to attend court. I suspect he wasn’t. He had gotten himself a job in a supermarket after school as he wanted money for going on scooter rallies and for drink and drugs. Apparently he didn’t steal much at all when I wasn’t around. He had become the blue-eyed boy and he wouldn’t want to spoil those impressions, so he got a job. I hadn’t seen him for ages, just typical of him to not be bothered about my troubles. Why doesn’t Alex ever stand up and take the blame he’s due? But then to be honest, if people really liked to think it was all me, then let them. Let them believe whatever they wanted. I really didn’t care! I was 15 now, totally capable of looking out for myself. Those here in Court obviously felt differently.

Maggie’s report continued something like:

“I would often walk Abbie to school to ensure she attended, but as soon as I had turned my back she would change out of school uniform into miniskirts and other inappropriate clothing. She had no respect for anyone including myself and was getting deeper and deeper in trouble.”

The Judge asked me to wait outside for a while.

Albert escorted me outside with a worried look and whispered, “Not good.”

“Whatever,” I responded shrugging and scraping my foot on the floor. There was a small stone that my foot found, and I was pushing it back and forth scraping the wooden floor in the side room. I had had enough. I was tired, and I couldn’t be bothered with this crap. I just wanted to get out of here.

I sat back in the little room on my own, while Albert went to fetch a drink. I wasn’t allowed out in the public waiting area because I was under 16, but I could hear the voices and all the people coming and going. I thought about running, I knew Albert wouldn’t catch me but I also knew I had to get it over with. If it didn’t happen today, it would another.

It seemed an eternity before I was finally called back into the courtroom. I passed Maggie on her way out and she was crying.

“I’m sooo sorry,” she mouthed at me like I could read lips. Why is she crying? What does she have to be sorry for? What has she done?

The Judge asked me to sit down and coldly delivered his speech. “Young lady, for your own safety you are being made a Ward of Court. When your parents refused to collect you at the Police station, Social Services was left with little or no choice but to start the process of handing parental control to a Judge. This means your Social worker has become responsible for reporting your future behaviour. Before you will be allowed back home, your behaviour must improve. For now I will arrange for you to be taken care of.”

I almost belted out, What, like Uncle Joe or the others? I could feel myself getting angry. They really had no clue. They wouldn’t do anything even if they did. I know they wouldn’t! I was to be taken into care, to a residential home whilst I sorted out my behaviour.

“Ha!” I laughed out loud shaking my head. What a bunch of pricks, the lot of them.

Albert assured me it would be “okay” and asked me to calm down. “You can go home when you get yourself sorted out. You just need a little help, that’s all.”

Where was the help when I was a kid?

I needed to get hold of Dave. How will he know where to find me? What about Alex? Albert reassured me he would let everyone know where I was and not to worry, it would all be okay. I had no choice, the police escorted me into his car. I didn’t know where I was going or what would happen.