Chapter 30

I tried hard to keep my side of the bargain. I attended school to do my exams, I did my best to be in on curfew and I didn’t steal anything, well apart from the odd ciggie. I tried to conform to the rules, even though at times I could have so easily walked out.

I hunted for a job but couldn’t find one. Although there were a few riding schools nearby, none of them were looking to hire, not at a training level anyway. I was forced to join a Youth Training Scheme--YOP. They were the rage at the time. The only placement I could get was at Woolworths where I earn’t £25 a week. Not a lot of money really, even back then, but at least it bought me some cigarettes. Often dad would give me a packet, but if he didn’t I’d pinch them, always hoping he wouldn’t find out. I thought the job would tide me over until something better came along, but I hated it. I hated wearing the red and white striped uniform. I was often late but they didn’t say much, probably because I was cheap labour. My manager was horrible too. She thought she had a god given right to speak to everyone like they were a piece of dirt. If anyone needs a smacking it’s her!

To be honest I thought I was far better. I shouldn’t be working in a shop, I should be outdoors working with horses. Why did I have to lose my temper at the yard? I had the job I wanted and tossed it. I got fed up with tidying the magazine rack. I gazed out of the shop window and saw a familiar face. Adam? Oh my god! Shit! I can’t believe it.

I ducked quickly behind the shoe rail. How did he find me? Oh hell! Now what do I do? I told my manager that I felt ill and asked if I could go home. After grabbing my bag and coat, I snuck outside and attempted to hide among the people in the town centre. I failed miserably. I think all I managed to achieve was making a pretty good fool of myself trying to get away. As Adam’s scooter revved up, I knew there was no point, so I turned to face him.

“What don’t you understand about the word ‘No’?” I scolded then turned and marched away.

“I need to talk to you Abbie,” he called after me, pushing his scooter alongside.

“There’s nothing to say. I have nothing to say. I told you we’re finished.”

“I won’t let you go Abbie, ever,” he sounded weird.

“Well you have a bloody long wait then, haven’t you?” I tried to be as cold as ice. I found it easy to be nasty to him. Anyone watching would’ve thought I was a right bitch and they would’ve been correct. I didn’t want him anymore. He had his uses and they were no longer needed.

Who told him where I worked? I asked myself. I’m going to flip if it’s Alex! I fumed away silently.

I caught my bus home, constantly looking out of the window with a nervous eye. He followed the bus. I started to feel scared, so I planned to not mess around, but get straight home and let Alex sort him out. When I got off of the bus I looked around for the scooter but no one was around. Thank gaud for that! I whispered, Who does he think he is?

I marched up the road to home and rounded the corner stopping in my tracks. He was standing there, outside our house. Must’ve known the shortcut, I thought, Shit! I ducked back around the corner and ran to the back of the houses. I climbed the fence and crept through our neighbour’s gardens to the back ally which led to our house. I snuck in through the back door. I peered outside and saw him looking for me. I looked around for Alex but no one was home.

”Just great,” I said out loud as I plopped down on the stairs, thumping the steps in frustration. I was trapped in my own home. If I went into the kitchen he would see me. If I went in my room he would see me there too. I was stuck in the back half of the house until somebody came home.

Looking around the edge of the curtain, I could see him perched on his scooter fiddling with his pockets and messing with his hair. Every now and then he glanced down the road. He’ll figure out soon something is wrong, I thought. It wouldn’t take this long to walk home from the bus stop. He must have read my mind. He put on his crash helmet, hopped on his scooter and raced off. I ran downstairs, wrote a note and stuck it on the inside porch door, in plain view so anyone could see. TELL ADAM, I DO NOT WANT TO SEE HIM EVER AGAIN! I couldn’t be any clearer than that, surely. What does it take to get through to him? I sat on my bed wondering what to do if he came back? I decided to wait until Alex returned, then tell Adam to his face, again! Alex would back me up.

Maggie arrived home shortly after I had written the note. “What’s this all about?” She shouted up the stairs.

I had no option but to tell her he was being a pain and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I was being stalked.

“Well you do pick them,” she said in her usual, “I told you so” voice.

“Pick what?” I instantly felt the hackles go up, it didn’t take much. Maggie knew which buttons to press.

“Those wastes of space you hang round with, trouble makers the lot of them.”

“Do you want to pick my next one then? Seeing as you’re so good at it. Nothing I do is ever good enough for you is it?” I slammed the door behind me and sat on the stairs.

For a minute I thought, What did I say? I can’t afford to be homeless. But on the other hand, does that mean I should never say what I feel? I was unsure as I walked back into the kitchen. Maggie had her back to me, feeding the cat. Domino was rubbing himself in and out of her legs, meowing his head off and acting like he was starving. We both giggled at the same time.

“Daft cat,” Maggie said, putting his bowl on the floor.

“I’m sorry.” I don’t know where it came from, but there it was, probably the first apology of my life. Maggie tried to hide it but I could see a glimpse of shock in her expression. I quickly carried on talking to not allow her to savour the moment. “If he knocks on the door, can you tell him I’m not interested, please? I think Alex told him where I worked. He’s been stalking me there. That’s why I’m home early.” For the first time ever, I managed to calm myself down.

“Ah! I see now,” she nodded. “Now it makes sense. Don’t worry I’ll get rid of him,” she assured me.

He didn’t come back. I don’t know if it was because he saw Maggie come home or if he finally got the picture. I had a couple hours or so to get ready for the “School leavers” disco. I can’t say I was really excited, but a couple of girls in my year had asked me to go. I have nothing else to do tonight, so why not?

I pulled out my Dogtooth check miniskirt. It had a drop-waist and was very kind to my figure. I had started to lose a bit of weight now that Maggie was feeding me properly, and I wasn’t eating all the junk food. I wore my black knee-length boots. They were the most comfortable ones I owned, bearing in mind I had a bit of a long trek up the huge hill to get to the school. Then I slipped on my fishnet stockings to finish off. After back-combing my hair and spraying half a can of hairspray to keep it in place, I looked in the mirror and surveyed the result, giving myself a twirl. Ugh huh! I don’t believe it, I look good! I had my makeup done, nothing new, just the same old eyeliner. Glancing at the girl in the mirror, I said, “You’ll pass!” I bounced downstairs and ran into Alex.

“On the way out, are you Sis?”

“Off to the school disco.”

“Wow, living it large then!”

“Better than stuck in ‘ere with you.”

He laughed then shrugged, marched off and slammed the door. A Town Called Malice by The Jam blasted out of his room. We wouldn’t see him again tonight. He liked to hide away up there. I heard Maggie tell dad he was still wetting the bed.

Walking up the hill, I had a strange feeling I was being followed. Trees either side of the concrete steps were moving in the wind. It’s funny what you can imagine when you’re on your own. My entire senses where on high alert. I couldn’t hear anything much, I couldn’t see anything, no footsteps behind me. All the same, the eerie feeling was there, so I quickened my pace. My heart was pounding. It was a hard enough hill as it was, never mind practically running up it, looking over my shoulder the whole way. You’re just being daft, I thought. I could hear some girls giggling further up the hill. I knew I was almost there, almost up to where the street lights began.

I heard a cough not far behind. I knew it! I knew there was someone there. I ran the rest of the way, not daring to look behind. As I reached the top a few girls were hanging around the railings smoking and giggling. I tried not to look flustered but I guess they read straight through me. They didn’t say anything but the silence and staring down the hill spoke volumes. I knew there was someone behind me, I’d sensed it, but I questioned whether or not I was over-reacting to the darkness of the night sky. It was spooky with the branches waving slowly in the evening breeze, creaking and groaning. I started walking faster to get away, but I heard footsteps running now. I started to panic and my heart was racing. Again I looked behind me, nothing. Maybe I was hearing things after all, relieved that I wasn’t going insane.

The thumping of the school disco could be heard in the housing estate opposite the school. The flats were a meeting point full of kids having a sneaky fag where they couldn’t be seen by anyone that might grass on them to parents. I hung around waiting for my friends. I didn’t have to wait long and they suddenly appeared.

“Let’s do it then girls,” someone said. “Let’s go partieee!”

Giggling, we ran over the road to the school. We all thought it was going to be full of kids, that there wasn’t going to be any male talent. We were fairly sure of that, but it beat staying at home.

D.I.S.C.O. by Ottowan rang out. I wasn’t a lover of this type of music and this had to be the cheesiest of the lot, so I hung around near the stage where they were selling crisps and coke. I was relieved when Madness came on next. A lot of the lads got up on the dance floor, dressed in two tone suits or Harrington jackets and straight jeans or Chino’s. They pogo’d jumping into each other and sang away. It was quite amusing to watch but lethal if you wanted to join in.

The girls I met up with were flirting with some local lads that had come into the school to see what was going on. The boys were about 19, so the girls were hoping. I went outside for a ciggie. I couldn’t bear to watch those silly girls flirt all night.