What you give is what you receive more
quickly than the signal sent by a satellite.
THE SIX PERFECTIONS
THE CHINESE CHARACTER for perfection translates as
“crossing over to the other shore.” This shore is the shore of
liberation, freedom and peace.
Visualize how it is now that we spend so much of
our lives on the shore of separation, obfuscation, stress, disease.
We all spend time there. Here is a formula that affords us the
opportunity to cross over from the shore of separation to the shore
of liberation. When we are focused and committed, we can actually
do this with amazing ease.
This technique is a daily, moment-by-moment
practice. For all Six Perfections we begin by centering ourselves
through our breath. Stop and take three deep breaths, slowly, in
and out. By doing so we become centered and begin to cross over.
Said the Buddha, “Just don’t hope that the other shore will come to
you if you want to cross over to the other shore—the shore of
safety, well-being, freedom from fear and anger. You have to swim
or row across. You have to make an effort.” This is the Buddha’s
way of saying you have to do it for yourself.
Here is a formula using the Six Perfections to get
to the other shore. The six are interdependent.
GENEROSITY, THE FIRST PERFECTION
If one is tight and stingy in one’s thoughts,
money, time, attitudes, possessions, this First Perfection is
telling you that you are not ready.
A most important step is to convey generosity of
spirit, so that we become generous with supportive, kind, loving
words. We are generous with our attitudes, being slow to judge or
criticize. We become individuals who are quick to have compassion,
to be kind, to express loyalty, to give of our time, talent and
treasures when the offering baskets of life are passed. We are
generous with our willingness to celebrate another’s good. We are
genuinely delighted at another’s good fortune.
As we develop this First Perfection, what has to
occur is that great good must flow into our lives. As stated in
A Course in Miracles, “Into the hand that gives, the gift is
given.”
A little boy of a very wealthy father was asked by
the dad, “Honey, what do you want for your birthday?” The little
fellow thought for a moment, then told his father, “Daddy, I want
you.”
Giving is a vital part of Buddhist practice, as it
is taught in Judeo-Christian spirituality, but not so often
practiced. It still baffles me how resistant Westerners can be to
the spiritual practice of tithing (giving back 10 percent of your
income to your spiritual home or sangha). The successful and happy
people I know live this principle. Those who struggle do not, yet
they are fearful and resistant to personally engage in a practice
that has worked and continues to work for so many through the
ages.
A most prosperous and extremely generous friend of
mine, Alice, always has sincere people coming up to her, wanting to
meet with her and ask a question—always the same question. “What is
your secret? What is the one thing you do that you can attribute
your success to?”
Alice always responds, “Giving. It is and has
always been through my giving that I have prospered.” She
humorously relates that the folks who ask the question almost never
accept her answer. They will summarily brush it aside and say,
“Well, yes, but what else?” For Alice there is no other answer. She
sums it up by saying, “People want another answer!” They want to
get where Alice is, but they don’t want to give. Until they hear
her message, they will never come close to where she is.
We give so that others may experience happiness.
When others are mean, selfish or unkind, being generous with our
love is an important antidote. When another’s behavior is unkind or
harsh toward us, it is because that person is suffering. If we are
very awake and aware, we quickly realize this individual is calling
for our compassion, not our rejection. We offer compassion because
we know he must be suffering deeply to behave so poorly. His
suffering is spilling over. And when we are within his sphere, it
spills over upon us.
When we are truly engaged with this First
Perfection, then our spirit is generous with a person—generous with
loving-kindness, with compassion, with tenderness, with kind words.
We are generous instead of throwing him out of our hearts. He does
not need punishment, he needs help and is asking for our
love.
Thich Nhat Hanh gives this amazing suggestion: go
shopping for that person, not as a manipulative move but rather as
a magnanimous gesture. Purchase something that person would
absolutely love, a kind response to their call for help. Now that
is a generous act from a generous spirit.
Last Christmas I took this teaching to heart and
purchased a beautiful scarlet cashmere sweater for a relative whom
I love dearly, but who was suffering greatly. He had walked away
from his family and friends with much anger and rage, leaving those
in his wake very upset and confused as to what had happened.
I prayed and prayed with no outer reconciliation.
With the holidays approaching, I then read Thich Nhat Hanh’s above
message, purchased the sweater and sent a card that expressed my
love along with a written invitation to Christmas dinner. We even
set a place for him, thinking surely he’ll return for Christmas
(how could he miss Christmas?), a holiday he has always
loved.
He never came. It was sad. There was an empty place
at the table and an empty place in our hearts that only he could
fill. He still hasn’t returned to the family, but our prayers
continue without ceasing, and we have received a message that he is
seeking personal help. That is an answer to our prayers for his
well-being.
The gift of the sweater and invitation didn’t bring
him home for Christmas, but as I have heard the Dalai Lama teach
many times: our prayers and spiritual practices for others may
never show us a change in them, but they will always bring about a
change in us.
Giving a gift to someone who has thrown you out of
their heart cannot be done with any expectation of changed behavior
on their part. It can only be done out of your own generous desire
to show love, remembrance and caring.
MINDFULNESS, THE SECOND PERFECTION
This Perfection contains aspects that are medicine
for the malaise of our times:
• Protecting all life—human, animal and plant.
This means having a green consciousness and becoming aware of how
all our actions impact Mother Earth, along with animals, pets and
people.
• Preventing the exploitation of anyone. This
means that when we see injustices, we do something about it.
• Protecting children and adults from sexual
abuse. Again, action is required whenever we are made aware of such
activity. During the holidays I was in a busy store waiting to be
waited on when a mother across the counter completely lost her
temper and began beating on her five- or six-year-old son, who
obviously was annoying her. The other customers, the clerk and I
stood in stunned silence. In such situations I am often at a loss
as to what to do. Pray? Yes. Have compassion? Yes. But what about
witnessing a child being abused? The next day I spoke with several
professionals—a child advocacy attorney, a police officer and a
social worker. They all gave the same advice. Do not approach the
person, but immediately call for help. From that day to this, I
carry the Child Protective Services telephone number in my wallet.
Now I know what to do. You can do the same thing and get the number
for the appropriate agency in your area.
• Deep listening and loving speech. While
training for the ministry, we were taught how to listen on two
levels: (a) what was being said; (b) what was not being said—the
message beneath the words. When we listen deeply, we learn much
about another person. It takes much practice, but we all can learn
to “hear” the unspoken words behind the spoken ones and “hear” the
truth of a given situation.
• Mindful consumption. Use what you use. Use what
you need, but don’t abuse the generosity of the Universe. In other
words, be mindful about everything you consume, from natural
resources—water, gas, electricity, etc.—to paper and plastic bags.
Begin to have less waste in your household.
INCLUSIVENESS, THE THIRD PERFECTION
In order to practice inclusiveness we must have a
huge heart. Your heart is large enough to draw that person and his
energy into your heart—receiving, embracing and transforming.
The way the Buddha illustrated this teaching was to
imagine we have a heart as big as the ocean. And into that vastness
all can enter. If we take a small handful of salt and put it in a
bowl of water, the water would not be drinkable. But if we put the
same amount of salt into a crystal clear river, the water still
remains drinkable. If some salt from a troubled personcomes in, it
will have no effect because we are as that clear river, or as big
as the ocean.
One has to be most generous of spirit to practice
inclusiveness.
ENTHUSIASM, THE FOURTH PERFECTION
We must put joyous effort into our spiritual
practice. We don’t grow weary even when we don’t see the desired
results. We continue to practice enthusiastically. We plant seeds
of joy and happiness in our soul’s storehouse, and they gather
there and are stored for future use. We continue to always water
these seeds. This requires the power of spiritual strength to not
grow weary—to faint not. I always keep on keeping on. It is a
stellar spiritual quality for all of us.
In this store consciousness there are many seeds,
seeds of agitation, seeds of negativity. On the other side are
seeds of love, compassion, goodness, generosity. We all have both
kinds of seeds within us from our past actions and past lives, but
it is absolutely up to us what kind of seeds we are going to water.
We always have a choice as to what seeds we water. Thich Nhat Hanh
says that if we have people in our lives who just love to water
those negative seeds—and we all do—they water those seeds of
negativity even when we attempt not to let them affect us. He asks
that we say to such an individual, “Dearest one, please refrain
from watering those seeds.” Can you imagine saying that to another?
You may choose to do so silently.
Then we water and nurture the wholesome seeds. We
use our power of prayer and affirmation to release the negativity
and water the positive. Then we cross over to “the other shore” of
peace, happiness and liberation.
MEDITATION, THE FIFTH PERFECTION
This Perfection is a two-step process. First we
stop the monkey mind within us by deep, slow breathing and
centering ourselves. Second, we look deeply within our own mind and
into the nature of things. We eventually do everything in our lives
mindfully as a result of regular meditation. There are two types of
meditative practices. One is learning to become still and centering
the mind. The other is the conception process of reasoning. (See
chapters on Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration.)
WISDOM, THE SIXTH PERFECTION
Our insight and understanding carries us to the
other shore. We look deeply and we have an insight. “This is it!
This is what I’ve been doing, this is what I have not been doing,
that keeps me on one shore or carries me to the other.” Wisdom can
be equated with Right View from the Eight-fold Path.
Buddha taught that the ground of being of all
waves, be they tiny or enormous, is the ocean. We, too, have a
ground of being that can be called our divine nature. In the West
we call it “God,” or “Christhood.” In the East it is called
“Buddhahood” or “Nirvana.” This is our true nature, the ground of
our being. We don’t have to go somewhere to find it. We don’t get
it someday if we become very, very holy. It is there. It has always
been there, and it will forever be there as the ground of your
being in the ocean of divinity.
Remember that these precepts work together. They
are interdependent. They move us from a state of separation to a
state of liberation. They move us to wholeness, freedom and
holiness.
At a Rigpa retreat I attended with Sogyal Rinpoche,
he taught something I have found to be very helpful, since it fits
so perfectly with this sixth Perfection. It is to keep what this
master teacher calls an “Insight Journal.” You maintain a special
little journal that you always have handy. And when you have a
flash of insight, an “aha” moment, you immediately record it in
your journal. I faithfully do this, and it is an enormous help in
always coming up with fresh Sunday lesson ideas. The Insight
Journal is something I truly appreciate.
We all have flashes of pure knowing, but we so
often and so quickly forget them. Having an Insight Journal must
have been an insight of Sogyal Rinpoche that has now benefited so
many people. If you keep one, it will greatly benefit you and help
carry you to the “other shore.”