Right Speech is the third aspect on the eight-spoked wheel of the Eight-fold Path. The expression and understanding of Right Speech is absolutely crucial on our spiritual journey if we are to attain an enlightened life.

When we practice Right Speech, we are constantly mindful of the vibration and impact upon ourselves and others of all the words we speak. If all of us were truly mindful of all our words, how different they would be.

With every utterance, a vibration is sent forth. Therefore, when we speak angry words, harsh words, toxic words, curse words, a like vibration is emanating from us and enfolding us and those around us like a blanket. On the other hand, when we speak words of loving-kindness, compassion, caring, tenderness, a vibration in kind is being sent out and embracing all. These vibrations, negative or positive, do not dissipate quickly.

Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist Monk with whom I have studied in France, has said that we in our Western culture are very quick to turn to anger. I could not agree more. We so quickly become irritated over insignificant things, small matters, that we soon escalate to a state of uncontrollable anger. Our speech reflects our misperceptions as we attempt to make things matter that do not.

To live as conscious beings we must practice Right Speech every moment of our lives—not just our waking moments. We must bring this awareness even into our dreams, so that even in our dream states we become more aware. As we become more conscious and learn to do so, the living of our lives begins to become seamless. And this awareness in time will even filter down into our dreams. What we perceive in our awake reality begins to wed to our dream states. These different realities of mind begin to become connected, and a universal consistency begins to emerge.

In Right Speech we realize that absolutely every utterance has an impact on us, on those around us, on our animals, on our plants, on our environment. Therefore, we cease from saying anything that would harm, such as swearing and using words in anger that become toxic. This takes tremendous effort and a retraining of our minds It does not mean we suppress, but it does mean we learn to release the anger and fear that results in harsh, unkind, sarcastic, caustic communication.

While driving with a friend, a delightful spiritual teacher, a driver on the freeway did an unconscious maneuver and caused the man with whom I was traveling to take quick action to avoid a collision, which he executed with skill. Then he started to swear a blue streak. It was every bit as rattling as the other driver’s erratic moves. It wasn’t the time to say anything to my friend, but it was a reminder that living consciously does not take a holiday when another person drives poorly. It takes constant practice, practice, practice to bring a life-transforming philosophy into every moment of our lives, even while driving on the freeway.

We do this first by being the observer and noticing what we are allowingto escape from our mouths. We hopefully are mature enough not to use the childish excuse, “I just can’t help myself when those words come out of my mouth.” The only person ever responsible is the person yelling and verbalizing anger.

Next we take the angry and fearful feelings we are about to express as harsh words and we consciously release them to: the clear light, a divine presence, a bodhisattva, etc. Next we are consciously aware not to go back and pick them up again. If our speech causes anyone to suffer, then it is not Right Speech.

The Buddha teaches that if we need to have a conversation with someone who is agitated, or who has a difficult personality, we need to continuously be mindful, consciously breathe in and breathe out, and listen deeply to that person for one hour. If, during that hour, you begin to feel agitated yourself, say to the other dear one, “I truly want to listen to you, but I find myself unable to continue. So let us agree to stop for now. Then in a few days, after much meditation, we can meet again.” How often do we communicate with such an enlightened mind? Can you even imagine how blessed our world would be if we all began to communicate in such a way?

Right Speech is as much about how to speak and address others as it is about what to avoid. In Right Speech we learn to verbally encourage others. Once, a fellow minister reflecting on the giving nature of a well-known teacher, said: “She is the best cheerleader I have ever met. She always has an encouraging word and is quick to praise another’s noble efforts and good works.” What a lovely comment to make about someone—one who not only looks for and sees the good but takes the next step and praises it, as well.

In our Western society we have a harsh manner of communicating to friends and strangers alike. It tends to be both direct and impolite. How often do you say, “Excuse me,” “Please,” “Thank you so very much,” “How kind,” “How thoughtful of you” or even “Good-bye”?

Right Speech is called the sentinel at the door of our consciousness. Practicing Right Speech results in what the Buddhists call an accumulationof merits. In Christian thought and teachings we do not have a direct correlation, but we could make a broad comparison through the idea of attracting grace or gathering good karma into your life.

People will just naturally be more attracted to us the more we draw to ourselves good energy merits. We become a blessing to others and ourselves, as well. We cease from ever harming others through our words. As adults we live by the simple teachings most of us have been taught as children. Before speaking, check out the inner pulse of your communication.

It couldn’t be easier or more direct. One would think it would not be so difficult to always and only speak words that are kind, helpful and true. We truly become the better person, deepening our spiritual path, expanding toward enlightenment.

A Hindu teacher gives this advice to his students about telling the truth: “Anyone who succeeds in telling the truth for twelve consecutive years will become enlightened.” That is certainly a noble goal to aspire to—no fibbing, no half-truths, no white lies, only full, totally honest disclosure.

THE VALUE OF RIGHT SPEECH:

In the early nineties I attended the Tucson, Arizona, teaching on Patience given by the Dalai Lama. It was modestly attended. Once, after the students formed an arc through which the Dalai Lama was to pass, we were instructed not to touch him or speak to him and to stay in a semi-bowed position, a sign of respect. There was great excitement in the air, and as he approached I felt so very blessed to be in such close proximity to this holy man. He was passing inches in front of me, as I held my hands in a prayerful pose and bowed.

The instant he was even with me, he abruptly stopped, snapped his head to the side and looked directly into my eyes. It took my breath away. All I can say is that it was an instant between us that was a holy encounter. It has remained with me to this moment. The Dalai Lama looked into me, and I was blessed. There have been a number of close encounters since, and of course they are all filled with goodness. But nothing could touch that first holy encounter. It left me speechless. And I have seldom spoken of it because it was so sacred for me. There are times when practicing Right Speech that it is appropriate to remain silent.

In Right Speech we are aware that our words can heal or harm. They can lift up or tear down. When we are in our right mind, why would we ever allow ourselves to harm or tear down another person through our words?

When we live in ignorance and not mindfully, we can allow our speech to come rushing out of us, and at times it seems it has bypassed our thought and has a life of its own. Andrew Harvey says, “Speech is the primary medium of enlightenment.” The purpose of enlightenment is to serve all others. Right Speech is an outgrowth of Right Thinking. They cannot be separated.

One of the most effective methods to train the mind toward Right Speech is through the use of affirmations. Insert your own name in the affirmations following to personalize them. Here are some examples to get you started, but feel free to create your own. Just make sure they are focused on the positive and what you want, rather than what you don’t want.

The Dalai Lama suggests that before arising in our morning meditation we commit to being mindful of our speech throughout the day. At midday we check ourselves by asking, “How am I doing so far? Have my communications been clear, truthful and kind? Are there alterations to be made? Let me now adjust and go on with a fresh start.” At the close of the day ask, “How did I do today?” Hopefully we can say we did really well and, if not, resolve to pay much closer attention to our speech tomorrow.