In our spiritual life we should never develop contentment—for our physical life, yes, but not for our spiritual life. One of my congregants once said to me, “I am finally ready to get off the road of least resistance and onto the ‘road less traveled’.” To experience a genuine spiritual life we must be willing to travel the unfamiliar byways of the spiritual journey. We also must realize it is never-ending and come to peace with that fact.

To me one of the more appealing aspects of Buddhism is that the paths have been explored and developed and utilized by hundreds of thousands of monks and nuns over the past 2,600 years. They have spent lifetimes solely dedicated to their spiritual practice. And we in the twenty-first century can benefit from that. What has evolved are systematic formulas and practices that, when engaged correctly and meticulously, produce valuable results. One can take these teachings and superimpose these ageless methods and timeless ideas onto one’s own soul exploration.

In our physical life it is good to become content with what is. This does not mean there is not room for improvement. But to advance withoutangst, to be content with who you are, where you are, what you have, with the circumstances of life, to cease from the painful desire to accumulate more and more, brings peace.

On the other hand, never be content with your spiritual life, because there is always more to learn and grow and deepen and become. Each awakening opens a door to a new room in consciousness where we learn to grow and become more. In turn, this leads to the next “aha,” and we once again expand. The process is unending. We never arrive.

I first learned this teaching when I was in training for the ministry. It was not a welcomed teaching. The very idea of it felt exhausting because of the constant demands upon my soul and reevaluating thoughts and beliefs previously held as dear or as the truth. And through the years it has proven to be so. A friend of mine posed, “So is it that we never graduate?” This says it well. There is no sitting back and resting on our spiritual laurels if we are on a genuine path. No, we NEVER graduate.

We may know a lot, but it is the constant journey of awakening and going deeper that continues to fulfill us. As Jesus said, “The birds have their nests, and the foxes have their dens, but the son of man has nowhere to rest his head.” You are “the son of man,” and the truth of your being is that there is nowhere to go to get away from the spiritual work. We, unlike the animals, cannot escape to nest or den. Our journey is ongoing. And with each advance comes keener insights and greater awakenings and greater joy.

In this process of never being done, the Buddhists offer one of their wonderful, ancient formulas. To whatever is going on, we need to ask, “Is this beneficial?” “Is this harmful?” Then you focus one at a time on the five filters through which we can finely sift our thoughts and beliefs. These are referred to as the “five aggregates”:

These five contain the whole of existence when we utilize them correctly. We are going to look at each, asking if we are experiencing each as harmful or beneficial.

This is our physical world, our body, things. Form does not endure.

Pause and gaze at your hand. Your hand is form, and your hand is not going to last forever. How am I treating my body, beneficially or harmfully? Is any particular possession of mine beneficial or harmful? Am I treating the environment beneficially or harmfully?

We ascribe to anything and everything all the meaning it has for us. Nothing in this world has an absolute and eternal meaning. We are constantly making the meaning up. Think of a chair. This chair has no meaning to me. Does an expensive chair have more meaning than an inexpensive chair? Are my thoughts about the chair beneficial or harmful? Someone spills coffee with cream on your expensive chair. Are your thoughts beneficial or harmful? Most likely they are harmful. This actually happened at our home shortly after I first wrote these words! All things considered, I was very pleased at my internal and external response.

Where we get “messed up” (using my vernacular to interpret the Buddhist concepts) is that we experience “mental sinking.” That is, we think the chair will make us happy. As a matter of fact, we think our happiness depends upon that chair.

Form is anything we can touch. We need to always ask, “Is my attraction to this thing really attachment in disguise?” “Is it beneficial or harmful?” “Does my happiness depend upon that object?”

Let us say you are feeling happy, joyous, satisfied, compassionate. Is this a beneficial or harmful feeling? Obviously these are beneficial feelings. But if we are feeling separate, agitated and angry bordering on hatred, then we must be aware that these are harmful feelings. And they are harmful not just to us mentally and physically, but to everyone around us, to our environment. To express harmful feelings such as these by sending out this harmful energy is really an act of selfishness.

The Buddhists say that such feelings poison the blood. How interesting it is, in light of our present-day knowledge, just how harmful such negative states of mind can be to one’s physical well-being, just how disease-producing this can be.

A great truth is that we have no neutral feelings. We always have feelings about the occurrences of life. They may be masked or denied or welcomed or fully expressed, but we always have them, and they are not neutral.

Traveling the path we quickly begin to realize that our perceptions are just that—ours. One individual’s perception is not more valuable than another’s. Each of us perceives in our own, unique fashion. We practice by asking with each perception we hold, “Am I sure?” Am I sure that how I am seeing this situation is accurate? You can use “Am I sure?” as an inner filter.

“Am I sure?” always reminds me of couples I have counseled through the years. Often one or both of the parties is “sure” of the other’s intention and assigns all manner of meaning to occurrences that, of themselves, are quite meaningless. Many resist accepting a situation that is not really factual but only one’s own perception.

The ancient Buddhist text called The Diamond Sutra teaches, “Where there is perception there is deception.” For me that teaching is extraordinary. Where there is perception there is deception. Perception-deception: pretty simple if we would only get it!

These are our seed thoughts, our very core thoughts in the subconscious mind. They can be positive or negative.

These can be of love, kindness, generosity, equanimity, compassion, forgiveness, inclusiveness, or they can be focused on separation, grievance, anger, hatred, envy, jealousy, being the victim. What we do is water these seed thoughts. Perhaps we use a little watering can, or maybe we turn on a fireman’s hose. We must ask, “Is this beneficial or harmful?” Is it beneficial or harmful to have this thought about this person relative to this experience?

This is our individual thumbprint in the universe, and the Buddhist view of consciousness is exactly the same as the metaphysical view. It is the sum total of our being; it is who we are. Consciousness is our soul’s DNA. It is always expanding or contracting. We must always be aware what seeds in our consciousness are being watered by ourselves or others.

This fifth aggregate contains the other four aggregates. Where our consciousness goes, our lives will follow. Following this discipline, I do not watch negative entertainment. I do not read negative or violent material. I am most mindful of what seeds of consciousness I am watering. I am always asking, “Is this beneficial or harmful?”

I broke my own “entertainment code” while going through a very consuming difficulty. I was praying constantly for a right outcome, and in spite of what was occurring, I was able to avoid “mental sinking” and remain quite centered. Then for “entertainment” I watched an extremely violent and disturbingly haunting Academy Award-winning movie.

The content of that film polluted the delicate balance that had been maintained in my consciousness in the midst of conflict. What immediately followed was a restless night filled with graphic images of horror occupying my brain. Also, I developed galloping worry about the current situation. My peace was displaced for about twelve hours, and it took a great deal of prayer, cleansing meditation and affirming to center myself once again. What a lessons on top of a lesson it was.

There are three filters to put over the lenses of the Five Aggregates to assist us in seeing clearly. They are:

An example of applying the three filters of consciousness took place while I was attending His Holiness the Dalai Lama’s teachings in Los Angeles. I found that there were always plenty of parking spaces available in the sponsors’ lot. Where oh where were the majority of the event’s sponsors? Nowhere to be seen. Rows of empty seats and an abundance of parking spaces in the sponsors’ lot. The early days of teaching were always filled with intense and often very challenging-to-understand material. Often the Tibetan teaching method is not very engaging to the Western mind.

On the last day, the day a blessing was to be bestowed on the attendees, the previously partially empty parking lot was not only full to capacity but overflowing. Every possible space had a car squeezed into it. It was obvious that many more people had shown up for the sweetness of the blessing over the intensity of the teaching in a hot, dark, smelly, uncomfortable arena.

For me it was an interesting observation on human nature and the desire for so many to take the easy road rather than the “road less traveled.” To advance spiritually always means to choose the demanding path. How many are actually willing to do so? Sometimes it appears that the answer is not that many. Let me see insightfully. Let me see correctly. Let me see into the now.

One step on the demanding path is to live peacefully. When I was young, I thought America was a peace-loving country. Then came Vietnam, then the first Gulf War, then the attack on Iraq. As a nation when we are challenged, or think we are, any guise of peace evaporates, and we attack. We responded to 9/11 with anger and pride—attack—which unfortunately seems to be the American nature.

The true warrior of the enlightened mind seeks peace in every instance. The bodhisattva mind has no anger or pride or need to attack. One seeking the path to enlightenment always chooses peace. That is why I study with the Dalai Lama. He always chooses peace. A noble being seeks to experience unity and harmony, both in life’s great moments and in ordinary daily life, as well as in life’s tragic moments.

As we journey toward living an awakened life, it is only natural and appropriate that we be happy. Living a so-called spiritual life and at the same time being a miserable and suffering martyr went out of style centuries ago.

When we are happy as an awake being, then our desire for all others is that they, too, experience happiness. It is here that we can know our innate oneness. It is here that any sense of separation begins to dissolve and the true essence of each individual can come forth. This awareness does not drop from the sky. It must be remembered. It must be realized in our hearts. Then we must practice. Then we must repeat those practices again and again. We all need to engage techniques and formulas that appeal to reason and lead to higher states of awareness. This is how we come to wake up, to be able to see through the veil, past the illusions and into the truth that lies in waiting within us all.

A path to happiness comes to us all as we mindfully journey on our path, committed to engaging these blessed teachings at all times under all circumstances. For this material to have any true meaning, it must be embraced intellectually, because it is reasonable, psychologically sound and simply makes sense. And then it must make two subsequent journeys. First, it must travel from the head to the heart. Here the heart is healed if healing is needed, and then the heart opens. Second, with an open heart one can experience life so much more fully.

I have found on my path, as my heart continues to open, I am deeply touched by the preciousness of life. I witness a tender exchange between a little girl and her daddy and I fill up with tears. On Veterans Day I read an article on the remaining World War I veterans, and I get choked up.

On November 11, several years back, David and I arrived in Paris and were walking toward the Arc de Triomphe unaware in that moment that it was Armistice Day, as Europeans call that day. When we arrived, to our amazement, thousands of people were ringing the monument, which was flying the French flag. We were moved to tears at the deep importance of this day for the French.

Another life-changing incident occurred when we were at Juno Beach in Normandy. Juno is the D-Day beach where our Canadian neighbors first landed. The enormity of the beaches and the memory of what occurred more than sixty years ago remains alive in me to this day. Upon arriving at the beach, my husband and I walked for a few minutes in opposite directions. While I was alone, an elderly French gentleman wearing a beret approached me and asked in French if I was an American. “Oui, monsieur,” I replied. His clear, steel-gray eyes looked deeply into mine, and he simply said, “Merci beaucoup, merci beaucoup.” My heart burst open. Here he was thanking me! I wasn’t even born and had nothing to do with D-Day and the liberation of the French, his liberation, but he was still deeply grateful. It was so astonishing and meaningful to me that I could not hold back the tears. (When I reread these words, I wept again.)

When our hearts are open, life in its true, loving expression can flow through us and from us. We feel beauty and pathos. We can exchange our sense of self with another. Rainbows and thunderstorms alike have danced in my heart, all because long ago I became committed to doing whatever it took to open my heart and keep it open.

To walk that glorious path to happiness, know it is safe and necessary to open your heart and clear your life of mental distractions, obscurations, and embrace your innate holiness.

The teaching of Tibetan Buddhism offers us in the West phenomenal techniques and processes that have been practiced for nearly 2,600 years. They offer us the unvarnished truth. They work. They have proven themselves to be beneficial through the ages. Now in our time this ancient wisdom is available to us. We can daily practice The Four Immeasurables— love, compassion, joy and equanimity. We can consistently engage the Five Aggregates—form, feelings, perceptions, mental formations and consciousness. These all help us to reap the benefit of oneness, knowing unity with our fellow travelers.

Practice each of the following exercises, one a week for five weeks:

First, in meditation, as well as in an awakened state of outer awareness, look at your hand. Look deeply. What do you see? Very often I see my mother’s hand when I look at my own. Ask yourself, What does this hand, face, leg, etc., mean to me?

Second, pick an object in your home that holds great importance for you. Look at it deeply. What do you see? If it were lost or stolen or destroyed in some way, how would you feel? Put it out of your sight for the week. Do you miss it? Realize it is just a “thing,” and you have given it all the meaning you ascribe to it.

For the next week, write down your feelings three times a day in your journal or, if you don’t have one, a small notebook. Keep it simple. This needn’t be complicated or complex. For example:

It should be easy to see which feelings are beneficial and which are harmful.

“Where there is perception, there is deception.” This is a very helpful yet simple exercise to do in the third week. Get a half-dozen note cards and write in bold lettering: Am I sure? Place them around your home, workplace, auto, in your wallet—wherever you will see them frequently.

Ask yourself frequently throughout each day, Am I sure my perception is correct? Am I sure he’s really this way? Am I sure I must have this?

An attorney in my congregation asked herself this question as she was about to pass up the deal of the decade on a very expensive mink coat. Did she want the money in her retirement account, or did she want the mink, of which she already had several?

Am I sure I need this, want this, want to spend the money? Why do I need this, want this? What is this coat offering to me? Will it make me happy or beautiful?

Am I sure?

In the fourth week work with the concept, Is this helpful? Do the exercise much like the preceding one. This time take note cards and write on each, Is this beneficial or harmful? Then post them where you spend your days, as in the previous week.

Is this thought, feeling, action, belief, attitude, judgment beneficial or harmful?

If you do this exercise with great honesty, you may be quite surprised. If your answer is harmful, you have your work cut out for you.

Remember that consciousness contains the previous four aggregates. A very helpful exercise is always to be mindful of what you call entertainment and what you allow to be programmed into your subconscious mind.

We all need to know what’s going on in this world, but we do not need to be witness to all the horrors and atrocities happening around the globe. All four of my grandparents were immigrants, arriving in the United States ranging in age from toddlers to teens. They were never aware daily of the global horrors of their era. They didn’t have the Internet, CNN, Fox, CNBC, etc., the constant media bombardment. Life was simple for them because of this.