Chapter 14
During dinner, Mr. Bennet scarcely spoke at all;
but when the servants were withdrawn, he thought it time to have
some conversation with his guest, and therefore started a subject
in which he expected him to shine, by observing that he seemed very
fortunate in his patroness. Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s attention to
his wishes, and consideration for his comfort, appeared very
remarkable. Mr. Bennet could not have chosen better. Mr. Collins
was eloquent in her praise. The subject elevated him to more than
usual solemnity of manner; and with a most important aspect he
protested that “he had never in his life witnessed such behaviour
in a person of rank—such affability and condescension, 7 as he had
himself experienced from Lady Catherine. She had been graciously
pleased to approve of both the discourses which he had already had
the honour of preaching before her. She had also asked him twice to
dine at Rosings, and had sent for him only the Saturday before, to
make up her pool of quadrilley in the
evening. Lady Catherine was reckoned proud by many people, he knew,
but he had never seen any thing but affability in her. She
had always spoken to him as she would to any other gentleman; she
made not the smallest objection to his joining in the society of
the neighbourhood, nor to his leaving his parish occasionally for a
week or two to visit his relations. She had even condescended to
advise him to marry as soon as he could, provided he chose with
discretion; and had once paid him a visit in his humble parsonage,
where she had perfectly approved all the alterations he had been
making, and had even vouchsafed to suggest some herself,—some
shelves in the closets up stairs.”
“That is all very proper and civil, I am sure,”
said Mrs. Bennet, “and I dare say she is a very agreeable woman. It
is a pity that great ladies in general are not more like her. Does
she live near you, sir?”
“The garden in which stands my humble abode is
separated only by a lane from Rosings Park, her Ladyship’s
residence.”
“I think you said she was a widow, sir? has she any
family?”
“She has one only daughter, the heiress of Rosings,
and of very extensive property.”
“Ah,” cried Mrs. Bennet, shaking her head, “then
she is better off than many girls. And what sort of young lady is
she? Is she handsome?”
“She is a most charming young lady, indeed. Lady
Catherine herself says that, in point of true beauty, Miss de
Bourgh is far superior to the handsomest of her sex; because there
is that in her features which marks the young woman of
distinguished birth. She is unfortunately of a sickly constitution,
which has prevented her making that progress in many
accomplishments which she could not otherwise have failed of, as I
am informed by the lady who superintended her education, and who
still resides with them. But she is perfectly amiable, and often
condescends to drive by my humble abode in her little phaetonz and
ponies.”
“Has she been presented? I do not remember her name
among the ladies at court.”
“Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents
her being in town; and by that means, as I told Lady Catherine
myself one day, has deprived the British court of its brightest
ornament. Her Ladyship seemed pleased with the idea; and you may
imagine that I am happy on every occasion to offer those little
delicate compliments which are always acceptable to ladies. I have
more than once observed to Lady Catherine, that her charming
daughter seemed born to be a duchess; and that the most elevated
rank, instead of giving her consequence, would be adorned by her.
These are the kind of little things which please her Ladyship, and
it is a sort of attention which I conceive myself peculiarly bound
to pay.”
“You judge very properly,” said Mr. Bennet; “and it
is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with
delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from
the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous
study?”
“They arise chiefly from what is passing at the
time; and though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and
arranging such little elegant compliments as may be adapted to
ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air
as possible.”
Mr. Bennet’s expectations were fully answered. His
cousin was as absurd as he had hoped; and he listened to him with
the keenest enjoyment, maintaining at the same time the most
resolute composure of countenance, and, except in an occasional
glance at Elizabeth, requiring no partner in his pleasure.
By teatime, however, the dose had been enough, and
Mr. Bennet was glad to take his guest into the drawing-room again,
and when tea was over, glad to invite him to read aloud to the
ladies. Mr. Collins readily assented, and a book was produced; but
on beholding it (for every thing announced it to be from a
circulating library) he started back, and, begging pardon,
protested that he never read novels. Kitty stared at him, and Lydia
exclaimed. Other books were produced, and after some deliberation
he chose Fordyce’s Sermons.aa Lydia
gaped as he opened the volume; and before he had, with very
monotonous solemnity, read three pages, she interrupted him
with,—
“Do you know, mamma, that my uncle Philips talks of
turning away Richard? and if he does, Colonel Forster will hire
him. My aunt told me so herself on Saturday. I shall walk to
Meryton to-morrow to hear more about it, and to ask when Mr. Denny
comes back from town.”
Lydia was bid by her two eldest sisters to hold her
tongue; but Mr. Collins, much offended, laid aside his book, and
said,—
“I have often observed how little young ladies are
interested by books of a serious stamp, though written solely for
their benefit. It amazes me, I confess; for certainly there can be
nothing so advantageous to them as instruction. But I will no
longer importune my young cousin.”
Then turning to Mr. Bennet, he offered himself as
his antagonist at backgammon. Mr. Bennet accepted the challenge,
observing that he acted very wisely in leaving the girls to their
own trifling amusements. Mrs. Bennet and her daughters apologised
most civilly for Lydia’s interruption, and promised that it should
not occur again, if he would resume his book; but Mr. Collins,
after assuring them that he bore his young cousin no ill-will, and
should never resent her behaviour as any affront, seated himself at
another table with Mr. Bennet, and prepared for backgammon.