78

Gone Fishin’

A retired sheriff from a sleepy little town in East Tennessee told us this story of the famous Greenback Bank. Yes, that is really its name, and the bank was famous for it. It was also famous for the apparent ease by which it could be robbed. The bank had been hit so many times that at one point they had considered installing a revolving door. Several sweet older ladies worked there, and they never put up a fight or made a fuss, so the bank was famous among criminals for being “easy pickings.”

But although the Greenback Bank was easy to rob, it was not that easy to get away from. You see, the bank stood on the main road, and that road was the only way in or out of town. Those sweet older ladies would give the robber the money, then just watch which way he or she went. The police would have a roadblock up and the money back in the bank before the frustrated robbers could think of three ways to spend it.

Well, knowing this, a local fishing guide decided he would try a new approach. He would rob the Greenback Bank on foot, and by the time the police arrived he’d be long gone.

So he did. And he was. The fisherman-robber actually got away clean.

Now, knowing the area like he did, he believed that he had found the perfect hiding place for his loot. He stashed the money in the hollow of an old tree that had grown for years by the riverbank.

He decided to wait until spring before retrieving the stolen loot so that no one would suspect when he “came into some cash.” Snug in his cabin, he watched the snow and ice come and then melt away, completely unaware that his money was gradually being withdrawn from the “creek bank.” All that thawing had caused the river to rise and flood the riverbank. Now the current was gradually washing away all his money.

That spring provided a bonanza for trout fishermen downstream, who were amazed to begin reeling in truly “big ones.” The fishing guide’s business, on the other hand, quickly slumped. Who needed a guide when everyone in town could tell where to catch twenty, fifty, and hundred-dollar bills?

Before long, the river was filled with would-be trout fishermen who had learned of the unusual way the stream had been stocked. But the authorities eventually found the source of the muddy money and put two and two together. The robber was eventually caught and convicted.

Unlike the money that went downstream, he went up the river.

America's Dumbest Criminals
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c0_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c1_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c2_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c3_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c4_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c4.5_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c5_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c6_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c7_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c8_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c9_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c10_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c11_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c12_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c13_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c14_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c15_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c16_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c17_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c18_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c19_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c20_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c21_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c22_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c23_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c24_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c25_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c26_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c27_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c28_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c29_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c30_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c31_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c32_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c33_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c34_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c35_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c36_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c37_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c38_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c39_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c40_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c41_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c42_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c43_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c44_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c45_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c46_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c47_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c48_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c49_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c50_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c51_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c52_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c53_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c54_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c55_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c56_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c57_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c58_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c59_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c60_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c61_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c62_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c63_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c64_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c65_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c66_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c67_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c68_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c69_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c70_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c71_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c72_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c73_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c74_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c75_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c76_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c77_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c78_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c79_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c80_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c81_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c82_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c83_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c84_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c85_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c86_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c87_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c88_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c89_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c90_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c91_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c92_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c93_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c94_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c95_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c96_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c97_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c98_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c99_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c100_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c101_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c102_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c103_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c104_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c105_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c106_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c107_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c108_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c109_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c110_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c111_r1.html