Captain Pete Bell of the Pensacola (Florida) Police Department was patrolling a nice suburban area when a speeding car ran a stoplight right in front of him. Captain Bell gave chase.
When he had the car pulled over, he approached the driver’s side and prepared to write out the ticket. “Sir, I’m going to have to give you a citation for running a red light and speeding.”
“Yeah, I know,” the man said. “But I’ve gotta go! I’ve gotta go!”
Bell was a little taken aback at this guy’s apparent lack of concern, even if he was in a hurry to get somewhere.
“Well,” Bell said, “you’re going to have to wait until I write this ticket.”
“I know,” the man exclaimed, “but I’ve gotta go—I’ve gotta go!”
“Sir, what’s your hurry?” the officer questioned.
“Oh, I’ve gotta go!” came the groaned reply.
“I know you’ve gotta go—but where?” asked Bell.
“I’ve really gotta go,” the man screamed, one arm involuntarily clutching his abdomen. “I have diarrhea. I don’t think I can hold it any longer.”
Suddenly realizing the situation, Bell quickly tore off the ticket and handed it to the man.
“Here, sir. There’s a restroom right across the street at that service station. Have a nice day.”
Well, at least now the guy had something to read while he was in the bathroom.