Officer Lynn Flanders of the Escambia County Sheriff’s Department in Pensacola, Florida, was dispatched to a convenience store where a man was exposing himself. Another female officer quickly joined her as backup. They arrived to find the flasher still on the scene—but sound asleep!
“The flasher was seated in his car in front of the store, totally naked, and snoring up a storm. So we knocked on the window and woke him up.”
Flanders then explained to the snoozing streaker that he was under arrest for indecent exposure.
The sleepy-eyed criminal didn’t seem all that perturbed, but he did have one request of his arresting officers: “Can I put my clothes on?”
The officers glanced around the car. The only clothes visible in the car were a pair of scuffed shoes and a wad of dirty socks lying on the passenger-side floorboard.
“Well, sir,” Flanders told him, “you can put your shoes on if you want to, but I honestly don’t think it’ll make much difference!”
“Oh, no, Officer,” the naked man explained earnestly. “My clothes are here. They’re just stuck between the seats here.”
Of course. Isn’t that where we all keep our clothes when we sleep naked at the roadside convenience store?
Always willing to serve the public, the two officers helped the suspect retrieve his clothes and waited for him to dress before escorting the fully clothed and wide-awake flasher to his new temporary home in a holding cell.