Retired Officer David Hunter of the Knox County (Tennessee) Sheriff’s Department tells this story of two very hungry holdup men:
After an evening of partying and smoking dope, the two very high potheads decided they would kill two birds with one stone. They were broke, and they had the “munchies,” so they agreed that the best thing to do would be to rob a hamburger joint. Armed with loaded shotguns, they burst through the door of the first place they came upon.
“Give us all the money,” the dim-bulb duo demanded, “and a dozen hamburgers with everything—to go!”
“I’ll get you the money, man,” one frightened employee replied, “but the grill’s already been shut down. It’ll take about ten minutes to reheat.”
“Do it,” came the gunman’s reply. “We’ll wait!”
Meanwhile, a passing motorist noticed that the two men sitting in the burger shack were holding shotguns. Suspicious indeed. The motorist phoned police.
“Here’s your food,” the shaking worker said.
The burger bandits grabbed the greasy sack and hit the door just as the sound of police sirens and squealing tires filled the night air. In their haste, they left the stolen money sitting on the table.
Panicked, the two robbers ran across a highway, slid down an embankment, and tried to hide under a bridge, which is where the K-9 unit found them. The hamburger heist was over.
“What really pisses me off,” one man said to the other as they were being led away in handcuffs, “is that those damn dogs ate all our burgers. I didn’t even get one bite!”
The officer responded, “You ought to be glad those are the only buns the dog bit.”