Here are a few things I’d like you to bear in mind while visiting Kathleen:
1. Never call her Kathi. She doesn’t go by that anymore.
2. Never call her Kate. She doesn’t go by that anymore either. 3. Call her Kathleen. (Not Aunt Kathleen.)
4. Be neat. Kathleen’s not used to living with other people, especially someone who’s almost a teenager, so it’s important you don’t make a mess. (Remember: Kathleen likes her magazines lined up with the corner of the coffee table. It’s one of those funny things she can get a little “icy” about.)
5. Don’t bite your nails. I know you never have, but it’s a habit Kathleen can’t stand so this would be the wrong time to start even if she makes you a little nervous, which she really doesn’t mean to do. Some people just don’t know how to take her.
6. Don’t talk too much. I, of course, assured Kathleen this has NEVER EVER been a problem with you, but she reminded me how important it is to be quiet in the studio or when she’s on the phone or when she’s having one of her headaches.
7. Try and talk a little more. It’s hard for someone like Kathleen, who’s never dealt with young people, to keep a conversation going all by herself. So if she asks you, for instance, how you like school, don’t say, “Fine.” Answer with a sentence or two. How about: “Very well, thank you. I especially enjoy world history and music.” This will give her something to build on if she still wants to continue the conversation and is not too busy or tired.
8. It’s more important not to talk too much than it is to talk more. You’ll figure it out.
9. Avoid telling Kathleen my feelings about the television industry. Even if she asks. Say nothing or, if pressed, lie. (I know that sounds unusual, but some day you’ll understand.)
10. Be ready to go immediately whenever Kathleen is. (It’s probably a good idea to leave your shoes on AT ALL TIMES.)
11. Don’t worry about her driving. It seems worse than it is.
12. Try not to be in the bathroom when Kathleen needs to use it. She gets agitated if she has to “hold it.”
13. Never argue with her. Most things will blow over if you just let her get them out of her system.
14. Try not to pick up any words or expressions your father and I would feel uncomfortable with.
15. And don’t forget to have fun! This is a wonderful adventure you’re going on!
Love and kisses to my darling
girl,
Mummy