Bitsie slipped through the window fine and landed on the ground. Now all I had to do was wait.
What if Arnold came back and found him gone? What if Arnold caught him in the house? What if Bitsie just made a run for it and left me there on my own? What would Kathleen do when she saw Bitsie’s nose job? I had a lot of things to think about so I wasn’t bored.
I was so weirded out by all the bad stuff that was going to happen that I barely noticed when a phone started ringing.
It took me a few seconds to realize it was in the room with me somewhere. If I had a phone, I had some options. I started throwing things around like a crazy person, looking for it. Where was it coming from? I stopped panicking and followed the sound.
To my knapsack. I couldn’t believe it.
I scrambled around inside and pulled out—Kathleen’s cell phone! How did that get there?60 I didn’t have time to think. I just answered it.
What kind of idiot am I? I answered it!
Why didn’t I just turn it off? I don’t know. I was on automatic, I guess. Like at home when I answer the phone and say, “Sorry, you’ve got the wrong number. May I take a message?” Who’d leave a message for the wrong number?
I say it without thinking.
Same thing here. I just said, “Hello” and tried to ignore the big heavy footsteps pounding down the hall toward me.
“Telly?!?” It was Nick.
“Ah…yeah. It’s me.”
I could hear Arnold fumbling with the key.
Nick just kept on talking as if the world were a completely normal place to live. “I was in the studio and thought if I phoned Kathleen’s cell I could hear the ring and maybe find it for her—but I guess I’m too late.”
“Un-huh,” I went, not wanting to come right out and lie about anything until I absolutely had to.
I could barely hear Nick over the noise. I didn’t know exactly what was happening in the hall, but I guessed that Bitsie must have seen Arnold with the key and attacked him from behind. Now they were banging and smashing and pounding into the door. Plaster was falling down on my head and that little window was rattling like one of those bean-shakers five-year-olds get to play in music class. I almost felt sorry for Arnold. He must have been terrified. Wouldn’t you be if a furious, beakless Bitsie attacked you?
“What’s all that noise?” Nick asked.
I said, “It’s—uh—Kathleen. She’s doing her exercises.”
Not a bad excuse, considering I just came up with it off the top of my head like that.
Nick seemed to find nothing odd about Kathleen doing that much screaming, grunting and slamming into walls as part of her exercise routine.61 He said, “It’ll probably do her good. Better not disturb her.”
Arnold and Bitsie must have knocked one of the pictures off the wall because there was a major crash right then.
I guess that’s why Nick said, “Unless you think she’s going to hurt herself.”
I said no, no, she’ll be fine, but I didn’t really believe it of course. I didn’t think Kathleen would ever recover from Friday afternoon—especially once she got a load of the new Bitsie.
“Oh, listen, while I have you on the phone, two things …” I couldn’t believe this guy. I spent a month dying to talk to him, but now was the time he chose to chat? “Do you know if Zola managed to get hold of Laird to fix Bitsie up? I’d really like that puppet to be in tip-top shape for Monday’s shoot.”
I concentrated on lying so I wouldn’t throw up. I said, “Oh, that’s all taken care of.”
“Great.” I wished he didn’t fall for stuff so easily. “The other thing,” he said, “is I just checked our e-mails and you have a whole pile of urgent messages from Bess.”
I started to feel like I’d rather just stay there and take my chances with Arnold. I said, “They’re not important. Everything is urgent for her.”
“Oh, good,” he went. “I was worried there for a sec.
They all had subject lines like ‘Don’t do anything stupid!’ and ‘Stay where you are!’ and ‘I’m coming to get you!’ If I hadn’t already heard a few stories about Bess, I probably would have called the cops! Ha-ha!”
Ha-ha. Who was laughing?
“I’ve got to go,” I said. “There’s someone at the door.”
I wasn’t lying.
Bitsie had just walked in.
60 How do you think? Remember Bitsie’s little tussle with Kathleen in the studio? She won – but he knew how to hurt her. He stole her cell phone. Stuck it up his insides and made off with it.
61 Come to think of it, most people who knew Kathleen probably wouldn’t either.