See what I mean? Can you get over how drippy that script is? And they were all like that. Even the nastiest Bitsie ’n’ Bytesie episode made Teletubbies look like I Saw What You Did Last Summer.
So you can imagine how hard it was for Bitsie to act like he was that sugar-pie space alien all day long. It must have been an awful strain on him, pretending to be someone that nice.
It would be like Bess trying to impersonate Snow White or something. How long do you think she could pull that off for? How long do you think before the seven dwarfs would be paying the wicked stepmother to come get her?45 Bitsie was having a harder and harder time pulling the act off too. At least once a day, his eyeball would get “stuck” or his arm would get bent in some weird direction. No one could ever figure out how it happened. That’s because they always checked his mecs or his rods for the problem. They never checked his brain.
They never noticed that it happened every time Bitsie had to say, “You’re my Bitsiest bestiest friend.” And every time Ram said, “C’mon, Cyberpals! Group hug!” And every time Bitsie had to act like he didn’t understand something your average newborn chimpanzee would have gotten right away.
“No, Bitsie. When I said ‘hop to it,’ I didn’t mean hop! Ha-ha-ha. I meant hurry!”
How humiliating was that?
So I’d take Bitsie to the mall. Make him feel better. Give him something to look forward to. I didn’t feel bad about it.
I figured even if the shopping trips were costing a lot of taxi vouchers and all my emergency money, they were worth it.
They made Bitsie happier so
1. he didn’t “break down” as much so
2. it wasn’t as hard on Zola and
3. we didn’t go into overtime as often.
It was a win-win solution. I told myself I was actually saving Kathleen money!
Unfortunately, I was also giving Bitsie ideas.
45 How long before Doc was prescribing the dwarfs tranquilizers? How long before Sleepy was having nightmares? How long before Happy had that smile wiped off his face? How long before even Dopey knew that Snow White wasn’t as sweet as she was cracked up to be? This is almost too much fun.