Chapter 7

Opening up to Taj proved more therapeutic than I could have ever imagined. For years, I had convinced myself that I had divorced that part of my life. I never knew how much my past affected me and most of all, how much it dictated my future.

I reached ove r to Taj and he wasn‘t there. Then I began rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I squinted to gain eye focus to read the time on the cable box: 9:34 a.m. Damn. It’s that late?

―Taj,‖ I called out. ―Taaaaaaaj, baby what you doing?‖ Madison came running into my room barking. ―Not you. I ain‘t call you.‖

After receiving no answer I began climbing out of the bed. As I started walking toward the bathroom, I noticed an envelope with Taj‘s handwriting. It was lying at the bottom of bed. What the fuck is this all about? I shoulda known he wasn’t gonna be able to handle all that shit…

I picked up the envelope:
Hey Beautiful,
Had to take care of something. Call me when you get

up. Before you do though, be prepared to answer this… Will you marry
me? Taj

My hands began to tremble…fate had finally decided to show up. Instead of running to pick up the phone, I headed to the shower. Taj was everything I wanted and more…but did Taj deserve the shattered past I owned?

The phone began to ring, it was
Taj. ―Where you at?‖ I asked.
―Huh?‖ Taj asked bewilderedly.
―Where you at? Why you ain‘t wake me up before you

left?‖
―Good morning to you, too…damn!‖
―Good morning,‖ I mumbled.
―You ain‘t see the note I left you?‖
―Yeah…but you ain‘t say where you was going?‖ ―Oh, so that‘s all you gotta say about my note?‖

I was silent and started to pick with my fingernails. I need to get a manicure today.
―Storm!‖

―What? Why you screaming at me like
that?‖ ―What? You know what? Fuck this!‖ ―Taj! Taj. Oh, I know he ain‘t just hang up on me.‖ I started to redial his number.
―What?‖ Taj answered.

―Why you hang up on me? What kind of stupid shit you on this morning?‖
―Storm stop calling me.‖ Taj said and then hung up again.

I kept dialing him back, but he kept putting me straight into voicemail. ―Fuck you then…you ain‘t give me a chance to say shit!‖

―Miss Storm, are you okay in there?‖ Miss Rosa yelled from the living room.

―Yeah. When did you get here?‖ I snapped.
―I just got here. How are you today?‖
―I‘m fine. How are you?‖
―I‘m doing won-derful,‖ Miss Rosa always sang her

words. ―It is such a beau-ti-ful day. Would you like me to prepare you some breakfast before I get to work?‖

―No, I‘m fine.‖ She is just too damn happy.―I‘ll grab something while I‘m out. Can you make sure you pick up my clothes from the cleaners? The ticket is on the refrigerator.‖

―Okay, I will.‖
Ring, Ring.
―Miss Rosa, can you get that for me? If it‘s Taj tell

him I‘m not here.‖

―Miss Storm, it‘s the nursing
home.‖ ―The nursing home?‖
―Yes.‖
―Okay. I‘ll pick up the phone in my bedroom.‖

* * * ―I‘m leaving…I‘ll probably be back before you leave,‖ I announced.
―Is everything alright with your aunt?‖ Miss Rosa asked. ―I don‘t know,‖ I answered nervously. ―They said she won‘t eat and she keep asking for me. You know how she is though…she‘ll do anything for some attention.‖

―Here, take her this.‖ Miss Rosa handed me a plastic Tupperware container with a huge smile on her face. ―It is her favorite…cho-colate cake. I baked it last night for you.‖

―Thanks,‖ I smiled back. ―I‘m sure she‘ll eat this with no convincing.‖
* * *

I wasn‘t prepared to see Miss LT in the state that she had forced herself in. I wasn‘t ready for why she had been calling for me. I was never taught how to say goodbye. Folks usually left my life without saying it. No one had ever loved me enough to grant me the closure that came with that single word.

Grabbing her hand, I looked up at the nurse, ―How long she‘s been like this?‖
―Since yesterday morning.‖

―What happened? She was fine when I was here two weeks ago.‖

―I don‘t know, Ms. Williams. She just took a turn for the worst. The doctor examined her and said he couldn‘t find nothing wrong. He think she is just giving up.‖

I quickly wiped the single tear that fell from my eyes. ―I pay y‘all a lot of money to take care of her. Why didn‘t somebody call me sooner?‖

―I don‘t know. I can‘t answer that.‖

I looked at her name tag. ―You don‘t know shit, do you Miss. Taylor? You don‘t know what‘s wrong with her. You don‘t know why she‘s sick. What do you know? Huh? I‘ll tell you what…why don‘t you go and make yourself useful and find me the motherfuckin‘ person in this bitch that can answer some damn questions. And on your way, send somebody in here to help me get my aunt dressed. I‘m taking her home with me!‖

As Nurse Taylor began to walk out of the room, Miss LT began to moan.

―Hey, Miss LT. Why you trying to scare me? If you wanted to see me you know all you had to do was ask? I‘ma take you home with me. Okay?‖

Miss LT began to clear her throat. ―No,‖ she whispered. ―What? What you say?‖
―I don‘t…I don‘t want to go home with you…this here…this here is my home,‖ Miss LT stammered. ―Well, just come home with me for a few days then.

They ain‘t taking care of you like they suppose to.‖ ―I‘m fine, baby. I‘m fine right here...‘specially since
you‘re here now.‖
I rubbed her hair and began playing with her long
thick braids. ―Who did your hair?‖
―You did.‖
―I didn‘t put these braids in. These are underbraids,
you know I don‘t know how to underbraid, Miss LT.‖ Miss LT chuckled, ―Oh, that‘s right. That young fast
ass girl that works here at night did it. I don‘t think you met
her before.‖
―Oh, nah, I don‘t think I have. Anyway, they need to
get redone. I‘ll redo it in a few. Look what I brought
you…some of Miss Rosa‘s chocolate cake.‖
―I ain‘t hungry.‖
―Miss LT you gotta eat. They said you ain‘t ate
nothing in two days. You can‘t do that. You gotta eat
something. Please, just a little piece. Do it for me.‖ ―Storm, sit down.‖
―Why?‖ I asked
defensively. ―Storm!‖
I ignored her and walked away toward the window
and pushed the drapes open. Then I turned to Miss LT.
―What‘s wrong?‖
―Why you chasing him
away?‖ ―Who?‖
―Your young man. Why you chasing him away? He‘s
a good man, Storm.‖
―How do you always know? No matter where I am,
you always know? And don‘t tell me that story about how you
were born with a veil over your face.‖
Miss LT ignored me. ―You gotta trust
him.‖ ―I do trust him.‖
―You‘re lying,‖ Miss LT retorted. ―No, you don‘t. He
ain‘t the one you need to be watching out for.‖
―What do you mean?‖
―He ain‘t the one,‖ Miss LT struggled to repeat.

I walked closer to Miss LT, picked up her hand and kissed it. ―I need you, Miss LT.‖

―You‘ll be fine, chile‘. You know how to take care yourself. Just get all those snakes out your closet before they bite.‖

―I won‘ t be fine without you. What are you trying to say to me?‖
―I‘m so tired.‖
―Okay, then. Eat a little piece of this cake. Then you can try and get some sleep.‖
―Storm, please listen to me…I‘m tired,‖ Miss LT repeated with great sternness.
―Miss LT…please, please stop saying that.‖
―I want you to take care of yourself. You here? I want you to let go of the pain that them sorry ass niggas done gave you. You betta than them. You here what I‘m telling you? You didn‘t sink in the sand that they threw you in, you stood on top and walked bravely across it. Ain‘t too many women out here can say they done been where you came from and blessed enough to be on top.
―Remember, anger don‘t complete the woman you are…it takes away from the whole strong woman you done become.‖
I never thought of my survival as being brave, I thought. ―I will. I‘ll let go. Miss LT, I love you.‖
―I love you, too. You the daughter I always
wanted.‖ ―Miss LT?‖
―Yes, baby.‖
―Please don‘t leave me,‖ I selfishly begged. ―Please don‘t die.‖
―I‘ma always be with you Storm. I‘ma always be where you are.‖
―Miss LT, please stop talking this crazy shit!‖ I cried.
Miss LT suddenly began to cough. ―Storm can you go and get me some water.‖
I reached for the pitcher and began to pour her a glass.
―No, baby, dat…dat water there ain‘t fresh. Go on down the hall and get me some fresh water.‖
―Okay,‖ I pulled the colorful crocheted blanket that Miss LT had created overthe white sheet. ―I‘ll be right back.‖
―Thanks, baby.‖
I came back into the room, carrying a pitcher full of ice water. ―Miss L -nooooooooo.‖