Chapter 3

Winter hung around longer than it should have. It was April 1^st and three inches of snow had fallen on the city during the night.

The good thing about the winter time was it was easy to hide stolen goods. I could easily stuff a coat inside my coat if I wanted to. Selling coats and clothes always brought me quick cash. However, with spring around the corner, I knew I had to come up with another way to stash clothes.

After my initiation with Rells, I realized there was money to be made selling my goodies. In order to look the part, I had to have the clothes and the cosmetics. I started with helping myself to Revlon‘s make up, and Exclamation perfume at Duane Reade‘s. I would use my bus pass and take the B52 to downtown Brooklyn

and go shopping. I would always make sure to leave with a paid item -- even if it were only a pack of Big Red chewing gum.

To my surprise, boosting was easy and I never got caught. By the time, I was fourteen I started ―shopping‖ in Sears, then I graduated to Macy‘s. Observation was the best teacher. I would browse around the store until I found a seasoned booster. Then I would watch them go behind the racks, out of the view of the big black ball. There they would bite the alarms off. I tried it and got it right the very first time.

It was important that I looked the part in whatever role I was in. Whether it was to sell the goods or wear the goods that I stole. I was driven and acted the part well.

Money was my sole motivation, because having it was the only way I could escape the two occupants that ran fiery hell on Putnam Street -- Aunt Hope and Smoke. Every dollar I earned, I secretly kept from Aunt Hope and saved for my emancipation. I made a vow to myself that by the time I was seventeen, I would be gone from there and living on my own.

* * *

Exiting the back of the bus, I noticed Looney Tootie sitting inside the bus shelter. Looney Tootie was an elderly homeless woman known by the entire neighborhood. She was given the name ―Looney‖ because you would often see her talking and screaming at the air. I never thought anything was wrong with her because a lot of what she said made sense. She was actually the only person in the world that I had learned something

positive from. Looney Tootie always told me as long as I had my mind I was free.

Looney Tootie was carefully guarding a large Conway bag and two small Pathmark bags which contained everything that she owned. For once, she was dressed appropriately for the weather. She had layers and layers of clothing on – two coats, a multi colored crocheted hat and red worn holey gloves. It didn‘t matter what the season was, Looney Tootie dressed the same. I often wondered what kept her from passing out during some of New York City‘s heat wave.

―Hi, Miss LT,‖ I said.

Slowly lifting her head up from her chest Looney Tootie, replied, ―heeeey sugggga. How you?‖
―I‘m good.‖

―Whatcha got good in dat
bag?‖ ―Just a pair of pants.‖

―You ain‘t got no food.‖
―Nah. You hungry?‖
―Yeah, I‘m hungry.‖
I reached in my pocket and pulled out a single $20

bill. ―This is all I got on me. Come on and walk with me around the corner to Popi‘s so I can get some change.‖

―Oh, you want me to go wit‘ you to Popi‘s?‖ ―Yes. Come on,‖ I said beckoning her in my direction. ―We gonna go to Popi‘s so he can make us some change?‖ I huffed. ―Yes, Miss LT. Now come on I gotta get home.

You know how Aunt Hope be acting.‖

Looney Tootie kicked the empty 40 ounce bottle of Colt 45 out of her way and quickly stuffed her bags under the wooden bench in the shelter. Turning her attention to me, she said, ―Oh, you gotta hurry home to Hope and the devil.‖

―Yes,‖ I replied with a laugh.

―You know they ‗bout to be whipped. And when they do they gonna go straight to hell.‖
―I know. You always tell me that.‖

― I mean it this time, baby. You gotta pay attention to the signs, chile‘. It ain‘t snowing in April for nothin‘. God is sending the snow to cleanse the earth. Demons ‗bout to fleeeeee. You hear what I tell you.‖

―Please Miss LT, I ain‘t in no mood to hear about that warfare stuff today.‖

―Alright, alright. I know. Storm, you ain‘t never in the mood ‗cause you don‘t like all that God and demon talk. But you watch what I tell you, them demons ‗bout to flee! But don‘t you tell nobody what ol‘ Tootie tell you. You keep quiet. Here?‖

―I won‘t tell nobody what you say Miss LT. You know I never do.‖
―You know why you can‘t
right?‖ ―Uh huh.‖

―A closed mouth catch no flies but loose lips sink ships,‖ we said in unison.
As we turned onto Marcus Garvey Boulevard, I quickly noticed Smoke walking toward the telephone booth in front of Popi‘s bodega. It was always easy to spot Smoke. He was slightly hunchbacked and swung his hands from left to right when he walked. Smoke was with another crack head named Snoppy. I quickly turned around, hoping to get around the corner and hide behind the dumpster. I wanted to avoid the usual spectacle that occurred when Smoke or Aunt Hope caught me in the street.
―Storm!‖ Smoke yelled.

I pretended I didn‘t hear him and continued to walk while simultaneously lifting the shopping bag in my arms and trying to stuff it inside of my coat. I had about five steps to go until I reached the dumpster. If I made it there I would hide.

―STORRRRM,‖ Smoke‘s voice grew closer and louder. ―You hear me calling you. You besta turn ‗round and get your ass back here…right now! I ain‘t gonna call your ass again.‖

I stopped my tread, slowly turned around and let out a heavy sigh. ―Huh?‖

―What the fuck you mean, huh? Who you think you talking to? Where the hell you think you‘re going?‖
―I just-,‖ I had started to say.

Smoke had reached me and looked down at me with his intimidating eyes. ―Hope been looking all over for you. Why you so late getting home from school?‖

―I had to stop at my friend‘s house and pick up something.‖
―What?‖

―I said I had to go to my friend‘s house and pick up something.‖
―I heard that dumb ass. What did you have to pick up?‖ ―Something.‖

―Don‘t play with me Storm. I ain‘t gonna ask you again.‖ ―My shirt.‖
―Your shirt?‖
―Yeah.‖

―What the hell is your shirt doing at somebody‘s house?‖ ―I let her borrowed it.‖
―Her? Whose her?‖

I nervously shifted from side to side and huffed. ―Umm…Nee Nee.‖
―Who the hell is a Nee Nee? You don‘t know nobody name Nee Nee.‖
―Yes, I do. How you gonna tell me I don‘t know her?‖ ―Bitch, you done bumped your damn head!‖ Then Smoke smacked me on the side of my head. ―Who the fuck do you think you talking to?‖

Tears quickly escaped my eyes. I was enraged. I had been humiliated too many times by him and Aunt Hope. I looked over to my left and Miss LT was still standing in the same position. She nodded at me, reminding me that I needed to answer the question.

I nearly choked on the lump that sat in my throat. ―Sorry. She goes to my school…that‘s why you don‘t know her.‖ I stammered.

―You a damn liar!‖ Smoke said as he grabbed my coat and pulled me. ―You lie so damn much you believe your own gotdamn lies.‖

LooneyTootie broke her silence. ―You oughta be shame of yourself…treating that chile‘ like that!‖

―Mind you gotdamn business! Who you think you are? Telling me what to do with my child? What you need to be worrying about is finding some where to wash your ass. That‘s what you need to be doing…crazy bitch!‘‘

―I ain‘t your child,‖ I mumbled while moving my head from side to side.

―You take care of yourself now, sugar,‖ Looney Tootie warned.
Releasing myself from Smoke‘s hold, I replied, ―I will, Miss LT.‖
When I reached where Miss LT stood, I grabbed her by the hand and quickly placed the $20 bill in it. ―Here‘s your dollar back.‖
Looney Tootie paused for a moment. ―You sure,
sugar?‖ ―What the hell is going on?‖ Smoke snapped.
I started to walk away. ―Nothing. Just giving back Miss LT her dollar.‖
Luckily Big John had turned the corner because I didn‘t know what lie I could make up next.
―Hey, man, what‘s going on?‖ Big John asked. Then the two gave each other a high five. I don‘t know why he still held onto the name Big John though. Smoking that crack had shriveled him to droopy skin and bones. Even Michael Jackson frail ass was bigger than him.
―Ain‘t nothing man. Just working hard…you know.‖
Yeah, right. Where at? Smoking your brains out at the crack den. I thought.
Then Big John looked at me. ―Hey, Storm. I tell you…the older you get the more you look like Lisa. She spit you right out.‖
―Hi,‖ I answered dryly.
―She mean and crazy like her, too.‖ Smoke added. ―How‘s
your old lady?‖ Big John asked folding his arms.

―She doing good. Everybody fine. How ‗bout your family?‖
―Oh, everybody doing alright. Yeah, yeah everybody doing good.‖
―What came
out?‖ ―769.‖

―769?! Ain‘t that some shit. That came out ‗bout a week ago. Didn‘t it?‖
―Uh, huh. Played Tuesday ‗fore last.‖
―I‘m looking for those triple two‘s man.‖
―Yeah. It‘s about time for them to come out.‖

Then Smoke took a few steps closer to Big John. ―So, uh, you know um…what you got good?‖

Bingo! Those were the key words. Aunt Hope would be lucky if she saw Smoke within three days.
―Got a little something,‖ Big John muttered.

―Storm you go on home. Tell Hope I‘ll be home in a few minutes.‖ Smoke then handed me a small brown bag. ―Here, give this to her. Its some loosies…and a beer. Make sure you give it to her…and take your ass straight home. Don‘t get lost, here.‖

―Okay, okay.‖ I hate his guts. I wish his crack head ass would get run over by a truck.
―I see you later, Storm,‖ Looney Tootie
said. ―See you later, Miss LT.‖

―Take care of
yourself.‖ ―I will.‖

―See you later. Bye, sugar.‖
―Alright go on, Miss LT.‖
―Oh, Storm,‖ Looney Tootie called out.

I turned around to face her, ―What Miss LT? What you want? You heard what he said…I gotta hurry up and go on home.‖

―Don‘t you ever forget what I told you…the weakest people come to the strongest with the weakest bullshit!‖
* * *
―Storm, that‘s you?‖ Aunt Hope called
out. ―Yeah, it‘s me.‖

―Where the fuck you been?‖ Aunt Hope full lips was twisted to the side indicating she had recently gotten high. ―I done sent the army out there looking for you!‖

I handed her the brown bag and sat silently on the sofa. ―You hear me? I ain‘t gonna ask you again either?‖ ―I went to my friend‘s house and then I ran into Smoke.‖ ―You ain‘t been with Smoke no damn four hours I know.‖ ―I told youI was at my friend house. I went there first.‖ ―Oh, really. Who died and left you in charge?‖
―Ain‘t nobody.‖
―You damn right. I done told your ass over and over

again, you ain‘t grown.‖ Aunt Hope began stumping her feet. ―This here is my palace. And I‘m the queen of this bitch. You don‘t run this show. I runs this show. You do what I tell you to do. And I told you to bring your ass straight home from school.

―I take a whole lot of shit from your triflin‘ spoiled ass. But what I‘m not gonna take is your ass fucking with my money. ‗Cause I got bills to pay ‗round here and I gotta put food on the table. And you fucking with my money, Storm. And nobody and I mean noooooobodeeee…fucks with Hope Davis‘ money. You got that?‖

―What you mean I‘m messing with your money?‖ ―You know exactly what I mean! Don‘t you play dumb with me!‖
―Why do I have to keep doing that? I don‘t wanna do it anymore.‖

―Can you take care of yourself?‖
―No…not yet. But—‖
―But shit! Until your ass is grown and can take care of

yourself you ain‘t got no say so in this. You ain‘t gotta pot to piss in, nor a window to throw it outta…but you think you can sit here and tell mewhat you don‘t want to do and what you want to do. I ain‘t working and until I could find some decent work you gonna have to keep fucking. I‘m doing it…what makes you think you too good to do it?‖

Doing it with who? Who the hell wants your crack head ass? I thought. ―I ain‘t say I was too good. I mean…I‘m only fourteen years old.‖

―I don‘t give a gotdamn!‖ Aunt Hope walked toward the kitchen. ―And I‘m done talkin‘ about it. You betta go on and get yourself ready…‘cause Rells been calling here and I ain‘t got shit to give him…but you.‖

―How he calling here? We ain‘t got no phone no more. Did you forget that?‖

―I meant to say, he been byhere. And don‘t you try and be smart. You betta take your smart ass in that bathroom and get that funky pussy ready. That‘s what.‖

―I got my period.‖
―Well, if you know like I do…you betta get ready and suck on his dick like you do those cherry blow pops. Now go on and get out of my face! I‘m done talking ‗bout this shit.‖

Recently, I had watched this talk show – I think it was Sally Jesse Raphael. There was a man on there being interviewed and I never forgot what he said, ―50-50 is a -50 is a 10 is employment.‖ Instantly I thought to myself, what was 100 – 0? I stood up, walked over to Aunt Hope ready to offer my proposition. ―Okay, I‘ll do it. But you gotta give me $10 every time I fuck for your habit.‖

―Pay you?‖ Aunt Hope asked and then fell over laughing. ―Pay YOU? Bitch, you betta be glad you got somewhere to lay your gotdamn head every night.‖ My confrontation had obviously made her nervous. She paused for a second to light her cigarette. ―You musta fell and hit your head tentimes! Asking me for some damn money.‖ Aunt Hope continued and dramatically began moving her head from side-to-side. She reminded me of someone my age. Then she stood up, looked down on me with her vengeful eyes and concluded, ―Don‘t you ever ever in your pathetic ass life ask me again ‗bout some damn money! You here me?‖

Fed up with her trifling ways, I pointed to my treasure and angrily retorted, ―Bitch, this pussy ain‘t free and this body ain‘t gonna be a slave for you or your sorry ass nigga no more!‖ Leaving her stone still from my response, I walked away, went into my room and put my diary; Exclamation perfume; make up bag; crochet needle and some panties in a Key Food plastic bag -- and left. I didn‘t know where I was heading to but I knew I had to

get out of that hell. No, that couldn‘t be hell, because even hell had to be better than there.
* * *

When I walked out the building Miss LT was standing in front of the door. She was practically hyperventilating, yelling and swinging aimlessly at the air. When Miss LT spotted me she quickly stopped. Gasping for her breath, she walked up to me. ―Storm, sugar, I‘m so glad to see you.‖

―What you doing here Miss LT? I told you to go on back to the bus stop.‖

―I know…I know, Storm,‖ Looney Tootie stammered. ―Buta ra‘ but…but I heard from God see. And…and I had to come and tell you.‖

I was angry with the world at that moment. The last thing I needed to hear was Looney Tootie preaching to me. ―Miss LT, I don‘t mean no harm, but I really don‘t feel like hearing that dumb shit right now. I ain‘t tryin‘ to take away what you believe and everything. But I‘m telling you your God don‘t live there. He can‘t be.‖

―Oooo, chile‘! Who you think you talking to...using that kinda language? You besta go on and wash your mouth out with some soap. And my God is your God and He is everywhere.‖

―I‘m sorry, Miss LT. I ain‘t mean to disrespect you. I just got into a fight with Aunt Hope.‖
―I know. I told you I heard from God.‖

―I gotta go Miss LT. I can‘t be standing in front of this door ‗cause Aunt Hope might come downstairs. And I‘m telling you the way I feel right now…I‘ma hurt her if she come with some stupid shit.‖

Looney Tootie ignored my foul language this time. ―Storm, you gonna be alright.‖
―I know.‖

―Look chile‘.‖ Looney Tootie looked up and pointed to my window. There were two birds circling around the window. Suddenly, one of the birds stopped circling and began pecking at the glass. I looked at Miss LT– waiting for an explanation. However, she said nothing. Instead, she wore a face I had never seen before. It wasn‘t fear though. I can‘t say what it was, but her reaction scared me.

―What‘s going on? What you want me to look at?‖ ―You see them birds?‖
―Yes, I see ‗em.‖

―You see them birds?‖ Looney Tootie repeated. ―They trying to get in. That‘s what they trying to do.‖

―What you talking about? Birds don‘t wanna go inside nobody house, Miss LT. Birds like to be free. They can‘t be free to fly if they in a house.‖

― Oh, sugar but they do wanna go in. They gotta go in. See when the birds go inside of a house, they ‗bout to let the death angel in.‖

―What?‖
Looney Tootie bent down and whispered. ―Death is coming, Storm.‖

―Miss LT, why you trying to scare me like that?‖ ―Death is on the way.‖
―MISS LT!‖ I screamed. ―Stop that!‖
―I can‘t stop it, Storm.‖
―Yes, you can. Stop talking like that.‖

―Storm, now you know ol‘ Tootie don‘t lie. I ain‘ t never lied to you. And I ain‘t ‗bout to start lying to you either. Don‘t be scared, sugar. I promised you the day was gonna come. Didn‘t I? And when it does, they both goin‘ straight to hell with gasoline draws on.‖

* * *

The next morning, Smoke jumped out of the living room window and killed himself. The word on the street was he got a hold of some bad drugs. Before he jumped, he yelled out to Aunt Hope – ―Look at me, I‘m Superman!‖

My only regret…I wish I had been there to see him fly.