He wasn’t even sure exactly how he had animated the damn

thing in the first place. It had no mouth, and yet it spoke. It had no

nose, yet it could sniff in the same disapproving manner as his

mother had, and it certainly had no hips, but that did not prevent it

from standing with its arms akimbo and seeming to cast an

irritated gaze at them, though, of course, it had no eyes, yet

somehow it could “see.”

“Nobody’s sending for Chinese, Broom, ” said Wyrdrune wearily.

“We were just talking about someone who was Chinese.”

“Japanese, ” corrected Merlin.

“Japanese, schmapanese, ” said Broom. “It’s four o’clock in the

morning! Decent, normal people oughtta be in bed at this hour, not

having a meshuga cocktail party.”

“Actually, I could go for some Chinese, ” said Kira. “Anybody

hungry?”

“You go eating Chinese at this time of the night, you’ll get more

gas than the Hindenburg, ” said Broom.

“What’s the Hindenburg?” asked Kira, puzzled.

“A dirigible, ” said Modred. “It blew up.”

“Which is what you’ll do with Chinese in the middle of the night.

Go back to bed, already. ” Broom turned to Modred, still behind the

bar. “Are those my good glasses?”

“I’m sorry, Broom, I couldn’t seem to find the jam jars, ” Modred

said with a bemused smile. It was, after all, his wealth,

accumulated over the centuries, that supported them all.

“Listen to Mister Smarty-pants, standing there in his

fancy-schmancy dressing gown like he was Ronald Colman, ” said

the broom with a sniff.

“Ronald Colman?” Kira said.

“Before your time, ” said Modred. “Before anybody’s time, for that

matter, except mine. A rather mannered British actor in old

pre-Collapse films.”

“I never should’ve bought that VCR, ” said Wyrdrune.

“Sure, take it back, already, ” said Broom. “Why should I get any