Wyrdrune from the other pitcher. Wyrdrune looked shell-shocked.

"I don't understand," he said. "Why didn't my spell work? How'd you manage to

turn it around on me?"

"Simple, Melvin," Makepeace said. "You were thinking impure thoughts. You

intended to use your power in a petty, spiteful manner, and the milestones

weren't going to allow that. What kind of person attacks a fairy, for God's

sake?"

"You know about the milestones?" Wyrdrune said, staring at him.

"Of course I know about the milestones," Makepeace replied irritably. "What

did

you think I ..thought they were, costume jewelry?" He quaffed half the

pitcher

in what seemed like one swallow and belched profoundly. "Modred told me the

whole story."

"Modred? Then you know everything!" Wyrdrune shook his head in astonishment.

"I

can't believe he told you."

"Oh, really?" Makepeace said, glaring at him. "And why not? You can't see why

Modred would share his secrets with some wacked-out academic, a schizoid

sorcerer who's slipped a cog or two and thinks that he's a fairy?"

"No, I didn't say that..." Wyrdrune began, hesitantly, though it had been

exactly what he was thinking.

"Look, get this straight," said Makepeace, leaning toward him and putting his

hands down flat on the table. "I'm not a wizard or a sorcerer. I'm not some

neurotic thaumaturgy professor who's teaching history because he's' going

senile

and can't keep his goddamned spells straight anymore. I'm a sprite. A spirit

being. A fairy, got that? A fairy! A fairy!"

His scream was loud enough to rattle the glasses in the overhead racks. The

waitress came over to their table and stood looking down at Makepeace with

her

hands on her hips. She spoke to him as if to a small child.

"Now you stop that right now, Sebastian! If you don't behave yourself, I'm

cutting off your beer!"

"Morticia, my love, you tell them, okay?" said Makepeace, giving her a

pleading

look.

"He's a fairy," said Morticia patiently, looking at them with a wry

expression

and rolling her eyes.

"There, see?" said Makepeace.

"I'm getting a headache," Wyrdrune said, shutting his eyes and rubbing the

bridge of his nose.

The waitress left, shaking her head with resignation.