16

28 November

It was just under a month until Christmas, but there was no sign of peace and goodwill in Lisa’s house. The shops were stacked with bubble bath and chocolate boxes, so it had to be the season to be jolly, but it was hard for Lisa to agree.

Lisa and Carol were talking on the phone. They were trying to decide who should buy what for their parents. Last year both women had bought their mum a blender and their dad whisky. It hadn’t made for a festive Christmas.

‘I’ve bought Mum a skirt from Next and Dad a jumper,’ said Carol.

Lisa bet that Gill had given Carol a staff discount, but didn’t say so.

‘I won’t buy them clothes then,’ said Lisa. She had no idea what she would buy them. She had too much on her mind to think about gift-buying.

‘Christmas is a magical time,’ said Carol with a sigh.

‘I know. Usually I like everything about it. From choosing, buying and wrapping gifts, to cooking, over-eating and over-drinking. I really love my old Christmas tree that I drag out of the loft every year. Almost as much as I love my kids,’ said Lisa.

‘Your Christmas dinners are better than anyone’s,’ said Carol. Lisa thought it must have cost Carol to be so kind.

‘But this year I’m looking forward to Christmas about as much as the turkeys are,’ said Lisa, sadly.

At least Paula and Jack had not moved out. They had tried it, but after an evening of hearing the Big Breasted Woman repeat, ‘Well, who would have believed it?’ they got bored and came home. There was no point in having flat-screen TV if you couldn’t hear it above her chat.

They still weren’t speaking to Lisa though, apart from barking the odd instruction about what they wanted in their lunchboxes, or asking whether such-and-such a top was clean. In many ways it was a normal situation, except that Lisa knew they were hurt and confused. She hadn’t meant to, but she’d turned their world upside-down. It had never been her plan.

Lisa tried to talk to Paula about making the best of things. Lisa confessed to being secretly excited about the thought of once again going to Nativity plays. Paula stared at Lisa, clearly furious.

‘Kerry told me what you thought of her!’ Paula yelled angrily. ‘You didn’t like the idea of her being pregnant, did you?’

‘Not at all,’ Lisa said, ‘but Kerry is fifteen.’

‘And you are forty-two!’ said Paula. Lisa really hadn’t known how ageist her family was. ‘And you’re not even getting married!’

Or how traditional it was.

The thing is Mark hadn’t asked her. She couldn’t admit as much to Paula. She couldn’t risk Paula turning her hate on to Mark, so she stayed quiet.

Mark had said that he wanted to be at the birth classes. But they hadn’t discussed anything after that. The truth was, Mark hadn’t asked to be a daddy, had he? Why should he want anything more than the birth classes? Lisa told herself she shouldn’t care. But she did!

She blamed Christmas. It came with daft hopes, like families sitting around the fireplace, or belting out a chorus of ‘Jingle Bells’ around the piano, even though everyone knew the best they could hope for nowadays was a row over the remote control.

On a much smaller scale, Lisa was worried about what to buy Mark for Christmas: a Red Hot Chili Peppers album? Or maybe, socks, tie and a pipe? That should give the right message. Lisa couldn’t think about it any more because she was attacked by another round of sickness.

‘Tis the season to be jolly.

Yeah, right.