10

4 November

Kerry came home from school earlier than usual. Lisa was pleased to see her daughter. She could do with a distraction. She had so much that she didn’t want to think about right now. Mostly she didn’t want to think about Mark.

Hadn’t she been proved right after all? He had let her down. He’d vanished: one row and then goodbye. She’d heard nothing from him today. She’d expected him to call the following morning, or at least by lunchtime. It had been four days. Why hadn’t he called? It was a good thing she’d never fallen for him. Or at least that he didn’t know she had. She would have a cup of tea with Kerry and forget all about Mark. Men – who needed them? She and Kerry would have a chat and a giggle.

But Kerry looked sad and tired. It was clear that she was not in the mood for a giggle.

‘What’s wrong?’ asked Lisa.

‘Nothing,’ said Kerry.

‘You keep saying that. But I don’t believe you.’

Kerry gave her mum a ‘dirty look’ and then said, ‘I have homework to do.’ She went upstairs without another word.

Clearly something was very wrong. Kerry never did her homework when she first came home from school. Normally she had really urgent things to do, like watch TV and talk on the phone to her friends. Sometimes she’d be very, very busy indeed, experimenting with new make-up.

Lisa was about to follow her daughter upstairs when she heard the phone ring. It only rang once before Kerry picked it up upstairs. Kerry would now chat to her friends as normal. Lisa knew better than to try to have a talk with her daughter when Kerry’s friends were available. Lisa knew her place!

Lisa killed some time reading the big DIY book that she’d bought. She was now very behind with her homework for the course, which was not a very good position to be in as a mum. She could hardly yell at the kids when she was setting such a poor example.

She needed Mark to explain how to plumb in a washing-machine. Where did the hot pipe go? She wondered if she could ring him. He had said, ‘Call me if you need anything.’ No. No. She did not need him to explain her homework.

Lisa could not keep her mind on the book. Gill’s words about Mark kept coming back to her. What did she mean, Lisa should enjoy new love? Was what she felt for Mark love? And what had he felt for her?

She’d only been seeing him… well, a year. A year. That surprised Lisa. She hadn’t realized it had been so long.

But they were casual. They only met up about once a week. Lisa thought about it. That wasn’t true. Mark stayed at her house most nights now. When he wasn’t there she looked for him.

But they’d never talked about love – except when Lisa said she didn’t believe in romantic love, which she often said.

Lisa knew what she must do. She had to confront this. She must get straight on the phone and call… Gill. To ask her exactly what she meant.

Lisa picked up the phone and realized straight away that Kerry was still on the line. She was about to hang up when she heard Kerry say, ‘A baby will ruin my life.’

A baby!

Lisa knew it was a bad thing to listen in to other people’s phone calls. But this was her fifteen-year-old daughter talking about a baby ruining her life. All rules were made to be broken!

Lisa hardly breathed. If Kerry knew she was listening she’d go mad, and most importantly she’d stop talking.

The other voice on the telephone was Amanda, Kerry’s best friend.

‘Are you sure?’ Amanda asked.

‘All the symptoms are there. Tiredness, mood swings and the usual one.’

‘Late?’

‘Yes. The worst of it is Mum hasn’t even noticed! Or if she has she’s not saying anything.’

Lisa gasped. Her little girl was pregnant! How could this be? Well, she knew how it happened, but how had it happened to Kerry? They’d talked about this sort of thing last year. Lisa had said if Kerry ever wanted to have sex she should come to her first. They would go to the doctor’s together. She’d thought she’d been an open and friendly mum.

But then she had also said that she really, really didn’t think Kerry should have sex until she was twenty-five! Maybe that had been a bit unrealistic. Maybe she had sounded too scary. And now look! Kerry had slept with someone and got pregnant.

The stupid girl! The poor girl!

Lisa wanted to run straight upstairs and fling her arms around her little girl. Or fling something heavy at her. She wasn’t sure which. She wanted to hold Kerry tightly in her arms and tell her it would be all right. She wanted to kill her.

Lisa took a deep breath and did nothing.

Amanda said, ‘What about the dad?’

‘He’s OK. I actually quite like him,’ said Kerry.

Lisa wanted to scream. Kerry quite liked the dad! Quite liked. What the hell was she doing sleeping with someone she quite liked? Shouldn’t they have been madly in love? That would have been better. But would it? They were children. How could this be made better at all?

‘I just never thought he’d be around forever,’ said Kerry. She didn’t sound sad. Surprised was more like it.

Stupid, stupid girl. Of course he’d be around forever now! Lisa put down the phone and thought about what she should do next.