EIGHTEEN
“CALLA,” SHAY WHISPERED, gently shaking my
shoulder.
The sound of his
voice drew me from dreams haunted by cries of anguish and
slithering shadows that threatened to engulf me.
For a moment I
couldn’t remember where I was. I only heard the warmth of Shay’s
voice and caught the subtle allure of his scent. I started to lean
forward, aching for his closeness.
He looked puzzled
when my fingers traced the line of his jaw. “They asked me to wake
you. It’s time.”
The sweetness of the
moment was driven away by the sudden cold slap of knowing where I
was and what I was about to do. I blinked sleep away, sitting up
quickly and then regretting it when Ansel stirred. He didn’t wake
fully but continued to mutter, restless in sleep as he had been all
night. My mood plummeted even further when I remembered that I’d
tried to help him, but couldn’t.
“Come on,” Shay
said. “The others are waiting downstairs.”
We left the room
quietly.
“How is he?” Shay
asked as we descended the stairs.
“I tried to turn
him.” I had to lean on the railing as grief knocked against
me.
“You did?” Shay
asked. “From the expression on your face, I’m guessing it didn’t
work.”
I nodded. He slid
his arm around my shoulders, brushing his lips against my
temple.
“It’s good you
tried, Cal. I’m sorry.”
“Me
too.”
“Is he going to be
okay?”
“I don’t know,” I
said, glancing back at the dark hallway. “He just seems . . .
broken.”
“Yeah,” Shay said
with a shudder. “I’ve only been able to change for a little while,
but it’s such a part of me. I can’t imagine losing
it.”
I nodded, watching
him. Was it true? Did Shay really have such a strong connection to
his inner wolf? Or was he just trying to sympathize with
Ansel?
“I should be going
with you,” he said.
“No,” I said. “The
Searchers are right. You’re too much to risk.”
He dropped his arm
from my shoulders, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You still
don’t think I can fight.”
“I know you can
fight,” I said. “I’ve seen you fight more than once. You’re a
warrior. That’s not the issue.”
“I could help,” he
said, glancing sidelong at me. “I know I could.”
“How well you can
fight doesn’t matter this time.” I shook my head. “We’ll still be
facing wraiths. Until you have the Cross, you can’t fight
them.”
“Neither can any of
you,” he growled, and I saw his sharp canines catch the
light.
“I know.” A heavy
weight lay on my chest like a boulder.
A suicide mission.
We were risking so
much, and I didn’t even know if the rest of the pack was still
alive. If Ren was still alive. What if we’d already lost all of
them?
I could hear the
Searchers milling around in the empty foyer. As we reached the
bottom of the stairs, Shay grasped my upper arms, turning me.
Before I knew what was happening, his lips were on mine. I leaned
into him, opening my mouth, welcoming the kiss. His hands slid down
my arms, fingers digging into my skin. I could taste his fear and
wondered if I should pull away, knowing he drank in my own
anxieties with each caress. I began to tremble, both from the fire
that lit my veins as the kiss deepened and the sudden awareness
that if things in Vail went badly, I might not kiss Shay again.
Ever.
He broke off the
kiss, resting his forehead against mine. “Maybe you shouldn’t go.
Ansel needs you. Let Monroe take the Searchers in. They can pull
off the rescue without you.”
“I have to,” I said,
pushing him back. “I’m the only one who can convince the pack that
the Searchers can be trusted.”
“If anything happens
to you—”
“Here they are.”
Adne appeared in the stairwell, clucking her tongue. “No time for
long good-byes. Haven’t you heard? Romance is dead. We’re on the
clock.”
“Sorry.” I slipped
out of Shay’s embrace, fearful that if I stayed close to him any
longer, I’d give in to my fear, abandoning any hope that I could
save my packmates.
You’re still their alpha, Cal. The pack needs you. You
know who you are.
I clung to that idea
as I strode across the empty space, finding Ethan and Connor
awaiting me.
Connor nodded as I
approached. “Isaac will keep an eye on your brother while we’re
gone.”
“I will too.” Shay
had come up behind me.
“Thanks,” I said,
unable to look at him, worrying I’d have an attack of cowardice
sprouting from my own selfish desire to stay near him.
What have I become?
Had giving in to my love for Shay made me weak? I felt like I had
no strength, nothing that reflected the person I’d always thought I
was. Steel resolve, independence—those traits I’d valued seemed to
have drained away over the last week. I desperately wanted to find
myself again. I had to prove to Ansel and my pack that I hadn’t
abandoned them. If I didn’t do this, I wouldn’t be able to live
with myself.
Monroe came striding
in from the kitchen. “What’s the situation?”
“All present and
accounted for,” Connor said, sheathing a dagger in his
boot.
Monroe nodded. “The
door Adne will open is in a dead end alley adjacent to Efron’s
club. We’ll break in through the side entrance and make our way to
the prison.”
“What will Adne do
once you’re inside?” Shay asked. “Are you leaving her at the portal
alone?”
Monroe
nodded.
“What if she’s
attacked?” Shay frowned. “Let me go with her. I’ll stay at the
portal, just in case.”
“Not an option.
Under no circumstances are you to join this fight, Shay.” Monroe’s
jaw tightened, but he smiled grimly at his daughter. “And if the
portal is hit, she can defend herself.”
Adne started, eyes
widening. “Thank you.”
“I think I’m gonna
cry,” Connor said, burying his face in Ethan’s
shoulder.
“Oh, shove off,”
Ethan growled, and readjusted the crossbow slung across his body.
“We’re all probably going to die in an hour. Maybe
less.”
“All the more reason
to treasure every moment.” Connor pretended to wipe tears from his
face.
“Adne, could I speak
to you alone for a moment?” Monroe asked.
“No, no way.” She
shook her head. “I’m not going to let you give me some sappy
father-daughter speech because we might die. Just let me do my
job.”
“That’s not—” Monroe
began, but Adne turned her back on him.
“Connor.” Monroe
watched Adne draw the skeans from her belt. He jerked his head away
from our small group. “There’s something we need to
discuss.”
Connor frowned but
followed Monroe to a darkened corner in the space.
“Ah, yes.” Ethan
grinned. “To the woodshed with you.”
Adne glanced over
her shoulder at Shay. “You’re not going to try to jump through this
door after I open it, are you? I’m wondering if I should make you
take an oath.”
“You’d better not,”
Ethan said. “We’ve been over this. I’m not risking my neck unless I
know you’re safe here. In fact, why don’t you just go to
bed?”
“I’ll go upstairs to
watch Ansel after you leave,” Shay said, but I heard the faint
rumble of a growl behind his words. “I’m not going to pretend that
this isn’t happening.”
“Suit yourself.”
Ethan shrugged. “If I were you, I’d sleep in.”
“He’s just the
gentleman you’re not,” Adne said, throwing her arms around Shay and
brushing her lips over his cheek. “Thank you for caring, Shay.
We’ll be fine.”
Suddenly I was the
one who wanted to growl.
“You’re damn right
I’m no gentleman,” Ethan said. “If you grabbed me like that, I
wouldn’t let you get away with just a kiss on the
cheek.”
Shay scowled,
rubbing his neck as a rosy blush washed over his skin while Adne
giggled over his reaction.
My eyes settled on
Connor and Monroe and stayed there. I couldn’t make sense of what
was happening, but both men were agitated. Monroe’s lips moved
rapidly, and he had something in his hands. What were those?
Envelopes? Connor paced back and forth beside Monroe, raking his
hands through his hair and shaking his head. I peered at them,
wondering what had transpired.
Finally, Monroe
grabbed Connor’s shoulders, pressing the papers against the younger
man’s chest. I saw Connor slump, as if he’d given a long sigh,
defeated. He took the envelopes from Monroe’s hands and slipped
them into his jacket pocket. Monroe squeezed Connor’s shoulder once
before coming back toward us. I averted my gaze, still puzzled by
what I’d just witnessed.
“She’s nearly
there,” Ethan said as Monroe approached. I turned back to Adne, who
leapt and spun in the ecstasy of weaving. Though I’d seen her open
doors before, I was still astonished at the blazing patterns of
light that swirled before her.
I started at a
sudden presence beside me. Connor stood nearby, silently watching
Adne weave. All traces of his mirth had vanished; his face was now
pale, drawn with strain. I glanced at Monroe, again wondering what
had taken place between the two men.
Blood roared in my
ears as the other side of the shimmering portal came into focus. A
dark alley edged by snowdrifts. In the distance I could just make
out a streetlight casting a dull gleam on the shuttered businesses
of downtown Vail.
Home.