Back to the
Dragonlands
My journey unimpeded, I arrived at the
Dragonlands an hour later and drove slowly through the parting
crowd, felt the slight fizz as I passed
through the marker stones, and then stopped the car. Safe at last,
I climbed out of the Slayermobile as the news crews came as close
as they dared to the boundary markers.
First on the scene was a MolluscNews film
crew. The reporter, jostled from behind, made a short introduction
to what would turn out to be the biggest news scoop of her
career.
‘I am speaking live from the Kingdom of
Snodd where we are about to witness the last round of a titanic
struggle that began four hundred years ago with the Dragonpact, and
finishes at twelve o’clock noon here high on a hill just outside
the Kingdom of Hereford. A struggle that will finally see the
Ununited Kingdoms rid of Dragons once and for all.’
She pointed the microphone at me.
‘A few words? We’re live.’
‘My name is Jennifer Strange,’ I began, ‘I
am the last Dragonslayer. I have grave doubts over the claims of
the supposed crimes but by the laws of the Dragonpact I am not
permitted to refuse. I hope that one day you will all forgive me,
although I know I shall never be able to afford myself the same
privilege.’
The pressmen clamoured for more but I
ignored them. I caught a glimpse of Sir Matt Grifflon staring at me
with daggers in his eyes. He was standing next to a couple of
Berserkers who were hitting each other with bricks in readiness for
the battle. I gave them all a wan smile and drove away from the
baying crowd. Once out of their sight I stopped the Rolls-Royce and
climbed out. It was barely eleven o’clock; I had time to catch my
breath.
‘You’re back,’ said a voice.
I knew who it was. I didn’t even bother
turning around.
‘Hello, Shandar,’ I replied.
He was sitting on a rock.
‘You must not
kill the Dragon,’ he said quite simply. ‘I order you not to kill the Dragon. You will regret
it. The Dragonpact will be destroyed. The Dragons will be free to
once again roam the land, killing and plundering, and the Ununited
Kingdoms will collapse into a new dark age more evil and sinister
than you can imagine. Humans, made slaves, will be ruled over by
the Dragons, whose hearts are as black as the deepest cavern, their
one wish the destruction of the human race.’
‘Is this another recording?’
‘I have placed this recording here as a
warning against anyone trying to kill the last Dragon. Believe
nothing that they say to you. They can lie in thought, deed and
gesture. I repeat: return now and leave the Dragon alone.’
I was confused.
‘But by the terms of your decree, the Dragon
is rogue and must be destroyed!’
The image twitched and went back to the
beginning again.
‘You must not kill the Dragon,’ he said
quite simply. ‘I order you not to kill the
Dragon . . .’
I watched the speech again but the magic was
old and weak and before I had heard the message three times Shandar
was merely a voice on the wind. Naturally, I agreed with him, but
was suspicious of his strong wish for me not to kill the last Dragon, when he had been paid
twenty dray-weights of gold to do precisely that. Had I been
beguiled by the Dragon? Did he have another agenda? Was I smart
enough to see through the possible lies? Thoroughly confused, I set
off into the Dragonlands.
I drove up a hill, followed the ridge for a
little way and then descended into a beech forest. I had to steer
the large Rolls-Royce very carefully among the tree stumps and
fallen branches. Twice I had to back up and try a new way through,
but soon the forest thinned out and I found myself looking out on
to a large, flat meadow next to a stream. I drove across the short
grass as grazing sheep moved lazily out of my way, and then crested
a low rise and stopped, not believing what I could see.
I turned off the engine and stepped out on
to the springy turf. Across the low valley was a sea of white tape
that criss-crossed the untouched land, tied at intervals to pegs
hammered into the ground. Someone was in the Dragonlands. Someone
was already staking claims.
I heard a cheery whistling on the breeze and
walked to the brow of a low hill, where I saw a small man wearing a
brown suit and an unmistakable derby hat. It was Gordon van Gordon.
He hadn’t been busy looking after his mother after all – he had
been busy claiming as much of the Dragonlands as he could. He was,
after all, my apprentice, and only a Dragonslayer or their
apprentice may enter the Dragonlands. He was cheerfully banging
claim stakes into the ground, and hadn’t noticed I was watching
him.
‘Something you want to share, Gordon?’
He jumped as I spoke and looked up at me,
but he didn’t seem too worried.
‘Not really.’
‘Let me see.’
He gave me one of the stakes he had been
banging into the ground. There was an aluminium disc attached to
each stake, and it was stamped with the name of the company Mr
Trimble had been negotiating for earlier: The Consolidated Useful
Stuff Land Development Corporation. Gordon had successfully claimed
the land. The area enclosed within the named stakes legally
belonged to ConStuff – or it would do, as soon as the Dragon was
dead and the marker stones lost their power. Gordon had claimed a
lot. As far as I could see there were marker tapes tied to
stakes.
I shook my head sadly.
‘I trusted you,
Gordon. Why all this?’
‘Sorry, Miss Strange, but this is strictly
business. I like you as a person. You have many fine qualities that
I admire. But you are out of time. You should have been born a
century ago when values such as yours meant something.’
Gordon smiled. But it was a smile I hadn’t
seen before. It was as though I was meeting a different person. The
Gordon I knew, the friendly and helpful Dragonslayer’s apprentice,
had never been real at all.
‘You had me fooled.’
‘Don’t beat yourself up over it,’ he said
kindly, ‘we’ve been running Last Dragonslayer Drill for a number of
years now.’
I frowned.
‘This was all planned?’
He knocked a peg in, wrapped a tape around
it and walked off in the direction of a stream. I followed, more
out of a sense of shocked disbelief than anything else.
‘We knew that Brian Spalding was expecting
someone to replace him. He resisted all our attempts to get him to
appoint an apprentice so we watched him, waiting for the time the
new Dragonslayer would come and take his place. It just so happened
that you chanced along on my shift.’
‘How long were you waiting?’
‘Sixty-eight years. A team of six people,
working round the clock. My father gave his working life to
ConStuff. He watched Brian Spalding for over thirty years.’
‘Thirty years? Just for some real
estate?’
‘You don’t get it, do you?’ he said, as
though I were some sort of idiot. ‘Snodd and the Duke of Brecon are
powerful, Miss Strange. They have the power, as you have seen, to
change the law at a whim and outlaw their citizens at their
command. But even they are merely transient when it comes to the
might of commerce. Governments may come and go, wars will reshape
the Ununited Kingdoms many times. But companies will stay, and
flourish. Show me any major event on this planet and I will show
you the economic reason behind it. Commerce is all powerful, Miss
Strange. Commerce rules our lives. ConStuff have put a lot of time
and money into Project Dragon, and their investment is about to
bear fruit.’
‘Money,’ I murmured.
‘Yes,’ he agreed, ‘money. And lots of it.’
He spread his arms wide and looked around to make the point. ‘Do
you have any idea just how much this parcel of land is
worth?’
‘Of course,’ I replied, ‘I have a very good
idea of the value of the Dragonlands. But you and I are talking
about different currencies. You’re talking about gold and silver,
cash and securities. I’m talking about the sheer beauty of the
land, the value of unpolluted parkland made wild and staying wild
for ever.’
‘Dream on, Strange,’ he sneered, ‘in every
direction are millions of greedy speculators eager to lay claim to
a few square yards. While you have been gallivanting around
pondering the imponderables, I have potentially laid claim to sixty
per cent of the lands. We already have plans drawn up. We will
build an access road through that oak forest and just over there’ –
he indicated a small copse of silver birches – ‘will be a retail
park for over seventy different shops, with parking for a thousand
cars. Over there,’ he pointed to another hill in the other
direction, ‘will be a luxury housing development. Just beyond that
hill there will be a power station and a marzipan refinery. This is
progress, Miss Strange. A billion moolahs’ worth of progress. We
were lucky you turned out to have such high ideals – if you had
fallen for King Snodd’s schemes to claim the Dragonlands on his
behalf you might have been something of a nuisance to us. As it is,
everything has turned out admirably.’
‘Then I pity you,’ I replied, ‘pity you
because you will never know or see a decent act. You have given
nothing, you will receive nothing.’
‘I have a bank balance that proves you
wrong, Jennifer. My share alone in this project amounts to over
thirty million. I watched Brian Spalding doggedly for over
twenty-three years. Don’t tell me I don’t deserve it!’
‘You don’t deserve it.’
We stared at each other for a few
moments.
‘So all those Dragonattacks. They were
arranged by ConStuff?’
‘Certainly. As soon as the prophecy began we
could see how we could use it to our advantage. Even King Snodd and
the Duke of Brecon wouldn’t have dared fake a Dragonattack. We just
helped things along. Massaged fate, if you like. Look at it our way
– we have actually helped solve the
Dragon Question. I think the Mighty Shandar would be
grateful.’
‘And the prophecy that began all this? You
as well?’
‘If only!’ said Gordon, laughing. ‘If
that was in our power we could have
engineered all this sixty-eight years ago. Nope, that wasn’t
us.’
We continued to stare at each other for a
moment longer. ConStuff and Gordon were playing with things quite
outside their understanding. ‘Money is a form of alchemy,’ Mother
Zenobia had often told me, ‘it turns kind, normal people into
greed-mongers, intent only on acquisitiveness.’
‘You have no idea what’s going on, have
you?’ I told him, my voice rising. ‘I know that,’ I added, ‘because
I have no idea what’s going on, and I’m
the Dragonslayer. Everyone wants the Dragon dead except me and
Shandar. Even the Dragon wants the Dragon dead. If I were you I’d
get out of the Dragonlands while you still can.’
‘You’re blabbering, Jennifer. I’ll be
staking claims until the first Berserker comes over that
hill.’
I couldn’t think of much to do, so as a
pointless gesture I pulled up a marker stake and threw it in the
river. Gordon wasn’t impressed. He pulled a service revolver out of
his waistband and pointed it at me.
‘Be a good little girl and leave me alone.
Do something useful like kill the Dragon so we can finish this all
up and get to the bit where I am handed wads of—’
There was a growling and a snapping noise
and I looked up. The Quarkbeast had left the safety of the
Rolls-Royce and was running down the hill as fast as his short legs
could carry him. He’d been keeping his anger in as I had ordered,
but out in the Dragonlands his instincts were taking over. He was
going to protect me whether I liked it or not. I wasn’t mad keen on
Gordon but no one deserves to be savaged by a Quarkbeast.
‘Call him off, Miss Strange. I’ll shoot him,
I swear I will!’
‘Stop!’ I shouted to the Quarkbeast.
‘Danger!’
But he kept on coming, his jaws rattling
dangerously, the sharp obsidian teeth glinting unkindly in the
sunlight. There was a sharp report and the Quarkbeast fell, rolled
over twice in the heather and lay still. I looked across at Gordon,
who now turned the smoking revolver back to me.
‘Don’t even think about it!’ he said
angrily. ‘I never liked the little tyke anyway. Run along and do
your duty or by King Snodd and St Grunk, I’ll shoot you where you
stand and get Sir Matt Grifflon in here to do your work for you – I
could even claim the reward on your life!’
I tried to find something to say but nothing
came out.
‘Well!’ sneered Gordon. ‘Quite the
Dragonslayer, aren’t you? I was wondering how you could possibly
have handled this any worse. All you had to do was kill a Dragon,
and instead we’ve got a major war about to break out. Destiny is
unkind sometimes, isn’t it? How many deaths will you have on your
conscience? Ten thousand? Twenty thousand? How much are your fancy
scruples worth now?’
‘Stop!’ I shouted angrily, but he
wouldn’t.
‘Stop?’ he repeated as he smiled a
triumphant smile. ‘Or what? What will you do?’
I suddenly knew exactly what I’d do.
‘Or I’ll fire you, Gordon.’
‘Well you can’t,’ he sneered. ‘I
resign.’
‘You resign?’
‘Yes, I—’
‘You mean you’re not my apprentice?’
He clapped his hand over his mouth as he
realised what he had just said, and his face drained of
colour.
‘NO!’ he yelled, throwing the gun away and
changing his tone to a mournful plea. ‘I don’t resign! I’m sorry,
please take me on again, I don’t want
to end like—’
There was a bright flash and a smell of
burnt paper as Gordon was reduced to little more than the sort of
powder you might find in a cup-a-soup sachet. Only his clothes,
derby hat and a steaming revolver remained to show that he had ever
been. None but a Dragonslayer or their apprentice could enter the
Dragonlands. His arrogance had got the better of him; his thirty
million meant nothing.
I walked over to where the Quarkbeast was
lying still in the heather. I dropped to my knees and rested my
hand gently on his forehead. His large eyes were closed; he might
have been asleep. There is a legend about Quarkbeasts that tells
they are sent by the spirits of dead relatives to watch over you in
times of uncertainty. My father had sent the Quarkbeast, I was sure
of it. The small animal, although repulsive to many and possessed
of disgusting personal habits and, yes, a bit smelly, had done his
duty without regard for his own safety. I moved his body to a
hillock above a bend in the river and placed a pile of stones over
his small form. I topped this with a larger rock upon which I
scratched the word Quark and the date.
In the warm summer sunshine I stood for a moment in silent
contemplation. He was a good, loyal friend, and he gave his life to
save me.