Sir Matt
Grifflon
The door to the Dragonstation was open when
I got back. There was no sign of Gordon. Instead, sitting at the
kitchen table and reading through The
Dragonslayer’s Manual was a striking-looking man with a
lantern jaw and long flowing blond hair. He looked up at me and
smiled his best smile as I entered, rising politely to his feet. I
knew who he was well enough but pretended I didn’t.
‘What’s this?’ I asked him. ‘A Mr Handsome
competition?’
‘My name is Sir Matt Grifflon,’ he said in a
deep voice that set the teacups rattling in the corner cupboard.
‘His Gracious Majesty King Snodd IV has ordered me to personally
oversee the Dragonkilling process in order that this whole sorry
business can be brought to a successful conclusion as soon as
possible. I have been given free rein over the manner in which this
is done, and any order from me can be taken to have come from King
Snodd himself.’
He was sickeningly full of
self-confidence.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, ‘what did you say your
name was again?’
He glared at me.
‘I don’t think you fully appreciate the
seriousness of the situation. The evidence is clear: Maltcassion is
rogue and will be destroyed.’
‘Evidence can be faked.’
He held up The
Dragonslayer’s Manual.
‘Faked or not, the rule of the Dragonpact is
clear: three attacks and the Dragon must be destroyed. Proof is no
longer a burden in this investigation, Miss Strange. If you do not
have the stomach for the job, then step aside.’
He was right, of course. The rules were
clear and I was bound by them.
‘I will do my duty.’
‘And kill the Dragon?’
‘If that is what my duty entails.’
‘Not good enough,’ he said, his voice
rising.
‘No one can replace me unless I agree,’ I
replied hotly.
‘Will you kill the Dragon? YES or NO?’
‘If the Dragon
is rogue, I will do my duty.’
‘YES or NO!’
He was shouting at me now, and I was
shouting back.
‘NO!’ I yelled as hard as I could. The
knight fell silent.
‘I thought as much,’ said Grifflon in a
normal tone of voice. ‘King Snodd feels that you have been beguiled
by the charm of the beast and I agree with him. Action must be
taken to remove you from your post. You have failed in your
fundamental duties as a Dragonslayer and as a loyal citizen of
Hereford.’
‘Listen, Grifflon,’ I said, purposefully not
calling him ‘Sir’ because I knew it would annoy him, ‘why don’t you
do yourself a favour and head on home? The only way you get this
job is over my dead body.’
Grifflon was staring at me in a dangerous
sort of way and I suddenly felt as though my last sentence was
probably not the right thing to
say.
‘You force my hand in this, Miss Strange,’
murmured Grifflon. ‘By your stubborn refusal to kill the Dragon.
The first person to hold the sword after the violent death of a
Dragonslayer is, by Dragonpact decree, the next in line.’
Sadly, this was true. It was Old Magic from
the days of Mu’shad Waseed. If a Dragonslayer died a violent death
anyone might take his place – all it required was to lay their
hands on the hilt of Exhorbitus, the sword. Sir Matt Grifflon was
smiling rather nastily at me and had taken a step closer. There was
no weapon to hand and to be honest I probably would not have known
how to protect myself if there had been.
‘Don’t make this too hard on yourself,’ he
said, pulling a small dagger from his pocket. ‘If you stand still I
can make it painless.’
He was between me and the door, and I was
just thinking of leaping out of the window when a single word came
to my rescue and stopped Grifflon in his tracks. It was a simple
word. Short, to the point and quite unmistakable in its meaning.
The word was Quark, and the Quarkbeast
said it.
‘Quark,’ said the Quarkbeast again,
positioning himself defiantly between myself and Grifflon.
My outrageously handsome would-be assassin
looked at the Quarkbeast nervously. It had its mouth open and was
revolving its five canines in a menacing fashion.
‘Call him off, Miss Strange.’
‘And let you kill me? Just how stupid do you
think I am?’
‘Quark,’ said the Quarkbeast, taking a step
towards Grifflon, who backed away nervously.
‘You can’t hide behind a Quarkbeast for
ever, Miss Strange.’
‘It’s Sunday tomorrow,’ I told him. ‘After
the premonition of Maltcassion’s death is proved wrong I won’t need
to hide behind anything.’
He glared at me and ran quickly out of the
door. The Quarkbeast sat on the rug and looked up at me with his
large mauve eyes.
‘You did good,’ I told him. ‘Thank
you.’
I looked out of the Dragonstation and into
the street. The crowds that had been camped outside had vanished. I
was no longer news now that the scent of war was in the air. On the
street outside only Sir Matt’s squires were in attendance,
doubtless to keep an eye on me in case I decided to make a run for
it. I went back inside, locked the door and caught the mid-morning
TV bulletin. King Snodd was giving a speech about how the
Dragonlands were ‘historically part of Hereford’, and that the
whole Kingdom had to act together to prevent the perfidious Duke of
Brecon invading the country and threatening ‘all that we know and
love’. I switched off the TV and went through to the kitchen, where
I found a note from Gordon van Gordon. It read:
Dear Miss Strange,I am sorry but I have been called away to look after my mother, who has gout. I wish you the very best on this most difficult of days for you, and hope you will find the courage to act in the way that you think correct.Yours, Gordon van Gordon
‘Coward,’ I muttered angrily, tearing up the
note and throwing it aside. I sat down to ponder my next move, and
hadn’t come up with a plan half an hour later, when there was a
loud hammering at the door. The Quarkbeast’s hackles rose.
‘Hello?’ I yelled without opening the
door.
‘Police,’ came the reply.
‘What do you want?’
‘The Quarkbeast has been declared a
dangerous animal,’ announced the impassive voice of the officer,
‘harbouring one is considered unlawful.’
‘Since when?’
‘Since when the King decreed it, seven
minutes ago.’
The rug was being pulled rapidly from under
my feet.
‘I need the Quarkbeast for protection,’ I
answered a bit feebly.
‘King Snodd has thought of that,’ bellowed
the officer through the door. ‘His Majesty has sent Sir Matt
Grifflon to guarantee your safety.’
A shiver ran down my spine.
‘Grifflon wants to kill me so he can take
over as Dragonslayer.’
There was a pause.
‘You have been beguiled by the Dragon, Miss
Strange. Sir Matt tried to help you and you set the Quarkbeast on
him. King Snodd has given his word that no harm will come to you.
There is no higher guarantee in the Kingdom.’
He then added in a patronising manner:
‘We don’t want to hurt you or the
Quarkbeast, Jennifer. All we want to do is help you.’
I peeped cautiously out of the window. The
street had been blocked off and three police cars were parked
outside. There were about a dozen officers, and two of them were
dressed in heavy armour. They had between them a riveted titanium
box in which to imprison the Quarkbeast. A half-inch of titanium
was about the only metal he couldn’t chew through. Standing on one
side but still looking very much in charge of the operation was Sir
Matt Grifflon.
‘Please, Jennifer,’ said the officer, ‘open
the door.’
‘Wait a minute,’ I said, running to the rear
window and looking out. There were police out there, too. I was
trapped.
‘This conversation is going round in
circles, Miss Strange,’ said the officer as I returned to the front
door. ‘Either you surrender the Quarkbeast or we come in and take
it and arrest you for non-compliance with a royal decree. If the
Quarkbeast so much as looks at us in a funny way, we will have no
choice but to use lethal force. The choice is yours. I’ll give you
a minute to decide.’
I looked down at the Quarkbeast.
‘It’s fourteen against two, chum. What do
you say?’
‘Quark.’
‘I thought you’d say that. But I’m not
risking your life for mine. Let’s find another way out.’
I ran to the Rolls-Royce and unclipped
Exhorbitus. As the Quarkbeast watched me with growing interest, I
attacked . . . the wall.
The sword cut deep into the brickwork, slicing the masonry as
though it were wet paper. Three quick slashes and we were through
to the property next door.
‘Sorry!’ I said to the surprised-looking
resident who had been watching The Snodd v.
Brecon War Show Live when his wall came down and a
Dragonslayer and her Quarkbeast jumped through.
We didn’t stop there, either. Holding the
sword in front of me, I ran across the room and went through the
next wall and into a coin-operated launderette. Water sprayed
everywhere as the sword sliced easily through the washing machines.
We heard an explosion from the Dragonstation as the police blew the
door down; but by that time we had cut our way out of the
launderette and were into the house beyond that. Luckily this one was empty and the next wall
brought us out into the daylight at the end of the terrace.
Exhorbitus was too unwieldy to allow me to run far, so I hid it
beneath some rubbish in an empty building site and ran into the
network of small alleyways in the Old Town behind the cathedral. We
heard yells behind us, and I stopped. We couldn’t run for ever, my
Volkswagen was in the other direction and the Dragonlands and the
safety of the force-field almost twenty miles away. I turned to the
Quarkbeast and told him to run off and hide. He looked all doleful
and made signs that his place was by me so I had to be cross, and
he eventually lolloped off. I waited until Sir Matt and his
officers could see me from the far end of the street, then darted
off in the opposite direction. I ran through the narrow streets
with Grifflon and the officers barely a hundred yards away. I
turned left, then right, then found myself outside Zambini Towers.
I was out of breath, luck and ideas, and before I knew what I was
doing I had darted inside and thrown the bolt.
I had hoped that Wizard Moobin might have
returned and would help me, but I knew as soon as I entered that
the old building was empty. For the first time ever I noticed an
eerie silence within the echoing corridors of the old hotel. There
was no hum, no static, no strangeness – nothing. All the sorcerers
were absent, even the mad ones on the eleventh floor.
I dashed through the open doors of the Palm
Court, looking for a place to hide, but my heart fell as I entered.
Sitting next to the fountain was Lady Mawgon. She was sitting bolt
upright with her hands on her lap. She was dressed in blacker than
usual crinolines, and wore gloves and a veil. She looked even more
funereal than normal, and had been waiting for me. It would have
been a child’s spell to make me decide to run left when I entered
the lobby.
‘Good afternoon, Lady Mawgon.’
‘I’ve been waiting for you, Jennifer.’
‘Listen,’ I said, ‘I know we’ve not been
getting on very well at present, but there’s a Big Magic going on
tomorrow at noon, and I’ve got to be there.’
I didn’t get to say any more as there was a
sharp report from the front door as the lock was shot off, and a
cry from Sir Matt. There were footfalls on the steps of at least
six officers and I heard shouts and cries in the lobby.
‘Sir Matt?’ called Lady Mawgon. ‘Would you
come into the Palm Court please?’
Sir Matt stepped in and nodded respectfully
to Lady Mawgon.
‘My Lady,’ he said, ‘will you give her to
me?’
There was one of those long pauses that seem
to go on for ever. I closed my eyes.
‘I have not see the wretched child all
afternoon,’ she announced. ‘After you find her, you may send her to
me.’
‘Don’t think me untrusting,’ said Sir Matt,
and he beckoned his officers to search the Palm Court. He stepped
forward and Lady Mawgon placed her hand lightly on my shoulder. Sir
Matt could not have missed me, but he did – and I breathed a sigh
of relief. Lady Mawgon had occluded me
from his sight. I could not be seen, so long as I stood perfectly
still and made no noise.
‘Nothing in here, sir,’ said an officer, and
trotted out to search the rest of the building.
‘She won’t get far,’ replied Grifflon. ‘The
whole of the Old Town is sealed off.’
He turned back to Lady Mawgon and lowered
his voice.
‘If I find out you’ve hidden her, I will
return – and my revenge will be frightful.’
She gave him one of her most imperious
looks, and Sir Matt called off the search since the wizards, ever
worried about thieves, had left frighteners in their rooms, and
even the burliest officers were quaking with fear at what they had
seen. Within five minutes they had gone, and Lady Mawgon took her
hand off my shoulder.
‘There is a Big Magic to be completed,’ she
said in a quiet voice and without looking me in the eye, ‘and it
behoves me to set our differences aside. Get a good night’s sleep.
I will watch over you.’
‘Lady M—’
‘It is my duty,’ she said, ‘nothing
more.’
I said nothing, and went to find
Tiger.