Thirty-Eight

‘I didn’t doubt Jimmy,’ Mrs Osborne continued with unsettling detachment. ‘I believed him, and the fact that the police weren’t involved confirmed what he’d said. If I’d had any doubts, if my suspicions had been roused, I’m sure I would have been more vigilant – more aware. But I didn’t have doubts. We never mentioned that night, your family, nor John’s family ever again – until last year.’

Mrs Osborne’s voice had gone very cold and a dreadful sense of foreboding settled on Mandy. Mrs Osborne paused and in that moment Mandy knew that whatever she was about to hear could have been avoided if Jimmy had been reported, and therefore she and her family were at least partly to blame.

‘Jimmy visited his mother regularly,’ Mrs Osborne continued. ‘She never doubted Jimmy, not for one moment, and was very angry with John for believing you. I understand she gave John a rough time for years and tried to make him apologize to Jimmy, but he never did. Eventually she stopped talking to Jimmy about his brother and the subject was dropped. Both her sons visited her at the nursing home, but never at the same time. John always went on a Saturday and Jimmy on Sunday. One Christmas Eve Jimmy stopped by unexpectedly and when he went into the sitting room, where all the residents were gathered, he found John already there. He left without being seen and waited in the car until John had left. As far as I know that’s the only time Jimmy saw John in all those years. And for me, knowing that Jimmy’s mother had so much faith in him confirmed his innocence in my mind. After the initial upset of being accused by John and banished from his house, life continued as normal for us, until last year when the police arrived and Jimmy was arrested.’

‘Arrested?’ Mandy asked, stunned. ‘But I didn’t ever report him.’

‘No, not because of you.’

Mandy stared at Mrs Osborne and her stomach contracted with fear. ‘So there was someone else?’

‘Yes.’ She nodded and rubbed her hand over her eyes. ‘Unfortunately there was.’ She paused before continuing. ‘It was a Sunday evening and Jimmy and I were sitting here, watching the latenight film. Suddenly there was loud banging on the front door. Jimmy told me to stay put while he went to see who it was. He thought it might be yobs from the estate. The next minute the house was full of police. Three came in here with Jimmy and me, and stayed with us while the others searched the house. They wouldn’t tell us what they wanted and Jimmy said he didn’t know either. I thought it must be a mistake. Hannah and Vanessa were asleep upstairs and the police went into their rooms and woke them. I was only allowed to go up and comfort them after they’d searched their room. They were very frightened.’ Mrs Osborne glanced at Hannah. ‘Jimmy was so angry, he kept demanding the police tell him what the hell was going on, but all they would say was it was part of an investigation. Then they took him to the police station for questioning. They also took away our computer and Jimmy’s laptop. I tried phoning the station to find out what was happening but they wouldn’t tell me anything. I was at my wits’ end but I had to stay calm for the sake of the girls. Jimmy finally came home at three a.m. and said he hadn’t been charged, that there’d been a misunderstanding. Did this remind me of the other “misunderstanding”? No, why should it? I still didn’t know why the police had taken him in for questioning. When I asked Jimmy he became very angry and told me to drop it.

‘It wasn’t until Hannah went to school the following day,’ Mrs Osborne continued in the same flat and emotionless voice, ‘that the girls and I found out. Hannah was in her first year of secondary school and she came home in tears. The whole school was talking about us. On the Saturday before Jimmy was arrested Hannah had had a friend, Katie, sleep over. I had put up a Z-bed in Hannah’s room. When Katie went home on Sunday she told her mother that Jimmy had gone into her bedroom during the night and, while Hannah slept, had tried to rape her. Did he really think he’d get away with it? That Katie wouldn’t report him!’ She stopped, tears springing from her eyes.

‘It’s possible,’ Mandy said quietly. ‘He got away with it with me.’ She looked from mother to daughter. Her stomach was churning and was so tight that for a moment she thought she was going to be sick. She knew what Katie had gone through – she could feel it. She also knew that she was responsible. If she’d reported Jimmy then Katie would never have had to suffer the same fate.

‘Sorry,’ Mrs Osborne said after a moment, wiping her eyes on the tissue Hannah passed her. ‘I never dreamed I’d be telling you all this. Never, ever.’

‘Did you believe he’d done it this time?’ Mandy asked at length.

Mrs Osborne nodded. ‘Yes, although of course he kept denying it. I also realized then that you’d been telling the truth. The thought that I’d been sharing my bed all those years with a…I had started divorce proceedings when Jimmy died.’

‘Was he prosecuted for attacking Katie?’ Mandy asked, aware her Internet search had shown Jimmy didn’t have a criminal record.

Mrs Osborne shook her head. ‘No. Like you, when Katie found out what was involved – the medical, and having to give evidence – she didn’t feel she could go ahead. She was also told it would be difficult to prove as Jimmy was of sound character. Respectable, they said.’

Mandy looked away. ‘That wouldn’t have been true if I’d reported him. He’d have had a police record.’

‘We’ll never know for sure,’ Mrs Osborne said. ‘Don’t blame yourself, love. If you want to blame someone now Jimmy is dead, blame me.’ She sat back on the sofa, closed her eyes, and emotion overtook her.

Hannah came over and put her arm around her mother. ‘Mum, it wasn’t your fault. You weren’t to know.’

Mandy looked at mother and daughter comforting each other on the sofa and her heart went out to them. She knew she should go now; staying any longer would be insensitive and intrusive. Jimmy was dead and hopefully she’d gain some closure from that, and also from what Mrs Osborne had told her. Although of course she now had to come to terms with knowing another girl had suffered as a result of her family’s silence.

‘Thank you for telling me all this,’ Mandy said quietly. ‘I really appreciate it. It has helped.’ She placed her glass on the coffee table and stood.

Hannah took her arm from around her mother and they both stood too. Mrs Osborne turned to face Mandy. ‘I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through, really I am,’ she said. She gave Mandy a hug while Hannah hung back. She was obviously close to tears.

They went with her to the front door where Mrs Osborne apologized again. ‘Look after yourself, love,’ she said.

‘And you.’ With a small sad smile Mandy turned and walked down the path. She heard the front door close behind her.

She joined the pavement and glanced back at the neat, outwardly respectable house where Jimmy had lived with his wife and two daughters. As she would now have to come to terms with the past in order to move on, so too would his widow and daughters, and in some respects it would be worse for them. How did you ever come to terms with your husband or father being a rapist? She shuddered at the thought.