Thirty-Five

Twenty minutes later, having run most of the way home, Mandy sat at the table in her bedsit with the carton of milk and the BLT beside her, and opened the laptop. The screen sprung into life and the last webpage appeared but with a message: Timed out. ‘Blast!’ she said. She’d have to enter her login details again. Clicking through to her Inbox she opened the email with her login details and copied and pasted the pass code into the Login box. The page for searching appeared and, hardly daring to breathe, she typed in James Osborne and Cambridgeshire. She clicked Search and waited. The familiar holding message appeared: Please wait, searching in progress. Please let him be there, please, this is my last hope. A few seconds passed and then Result appeared. There were two James Osbornes living in Cambridgeshire. Let one of them be him, she prayed, please, that’s all I ask. She clicked on the first: James Mark Osborne, but his date of birth showed him to be forty-eight. Close but not close enough. With her fingers shaking she clicked on the second: James Simon Osborne. She looked at his date of birth. Her hand shot to her mouth and she stifled a cry. The right age. Yes, he was fifty-four! Was it really him? She hardly dared believe.

Clicking on the button for more information, she drew her pen and paper across the table. The information appeared and she made a note of his address and telephone number. There was a map symbol beside his address. She clicked on it and a map of the area where he lived filled the screen. Moving her cursor to extend the perimeters of the map, she calculated that this James lived about five miles from Evelyn and John. Closing the map she returned to James’s details and Other occupants over eighteen living at this address. She clicked on the link and the name Natalie Jane Osborne appeared. Wasn’t Natalie the name of Jimmy’s wife? Isn’t that what Evelyn had said? She tried to think back and remember. When she’d taken refuge in the Pink Room and Evelyn had come in and tried to explain, hadn’t she said Jimmy’s wife was called Natalie? Mandy was almost sure she had. She looked at Natalie’s date of birth. She was three years younger than Jimmy. She made a note and then looked up and gazed at the screen.

Although his age and address fitted, and possibly Natalie was the name of his wife, Mandy had to be absolutely certain that this James Osborne was the Jimmy she was looking for. It wouldn’t do to go bursting in and accuse an innocent man. A message appeared telling her she needed to pay another £5.99 before she could continue to search, which she did. It would have been cheaper to take out a year’s membership, she thought, but she hadn’t realized how much searching she was going to be doing. Returning to the page with James Simon Osborne’s details, Mandy now clicked the button to search criminal records. The holding message appeared, and her stomach churned. Result: no criminal record found.

She wasn’t sure if this made it better or worse.

She began clicking down the line of information buttons to the right of the page but the only other detail she was able to discover was that this James had a full driving licence and passport, both of which she could have reasonably guessed as most adults possessed them. Then she came to the search button for checking birth records. Of course! She had enough information to check his birth certificate. Leaning closer and hardly daring to breathe, she clicked on the link to the register of births and entered ‘James Simon Osborne’ and his date of birth. A moment later Result appeared. James Simon Osborne was born to a Mabel Elizabeth Osborne; it gave his mother’s date of birth. Not daring to take her eyes from the screen, Mandy reached for the pen and wrote his mother’s date of birth on the notepad. Close, so close; she was certain it was him, but there was one final check she needed to make before it was conclusive. Returning to the main menu, she carefully typed in his mother’s full name, Mabel Elizabeth Osborne, together with her date of birth, and clicked Search. The holding message appeared…Please wait…then a few moments later: Result. Mabel Elizabeth Osborne lived in St Mary’s Nursing Home, located almost exactly between John’s and James’s address. Evelyn had said John’s mother was in a local nursing home. Too much for coincidence.

‘Result!’ Mandy said, satisfied, tearing off the sheet of paper with his details on. She folded it and put it in her purse for safekeeping, shut down the computer, then finished the carton of milk and sandwich. ‘Found you at last, you bastard!’

She wasn’t sure exactly when she would be using the information, only that it wouldn’t be very long. The anger, fear, hurt and resentment she should have felt in the months straight after the attack, but which had been denied to her all these years, were flaring with vengeance, and would very likely keep doing so. She knew if she didn’t deal with them soon she would never be able to move on and leave the past behind. Being in possession of Jimmy’s address had empowered her. She knew where he lived, and he had no idea she knew. Having the advantage made her feel more in control of events rather than at their mercy. Less of a victim.

Crossing the room, she went to the easel and the painting she’d begun in the early hours of the morning. She’d still no idea what the swirls of grey and black were and the ‘picture’ seemed even less appealing now than it had earlier. Taking down the paper, she screwed it up and put it in the bin, then clipped a fresh sheet to the easel. She took the cap off the tube of blue paint and squeezing a little on to her palette began to paint. An hour later she stood back and admired what she’d done so far. Not bad, not bad at all. The blue, cloudless sky stretched into the distance and the church spire that rose before it was a good likeness. Perhaps she hadn’t lost her talent after all. Cleaning her brush, she picked up her mobile and texted Adam: Im free if u want 2 meet l8r? Almost immediately a text came back: Dinner? red lion 7pm? She felt a frisson of warmth as she replied: Yes plz x. The Red Lion was the pub they’d used once before to meet after an argument – neutral ground where they’d repaired their differences.

With an hour before she was due to meet Adam Mandy sat on the bed and returned the texts and calls from the day before. There were three texts from friends, which she dealt with first, then she phoned her mother. ‘Are you sure you’re all right alone?’ her mother asked for the second time. ‘You know you can always stay here.’

‘I’m fine,’ Mandy reassured. ‘I’m keeping busy and I’m meeting Adam for dinner shortly,’ which seemed to reassure her.

Mandy then spent the next twenty minutes, before she had to leave to meet Adam, getting ready. She made a special effort – straightening her hair, changing her T-shirt for a blouse and applying eye make-up and lipstick.

‘Sorry,’ she said, as soon as she saw him outside the pub. ‘Sorry I was such a cow.’

He smiled and kissed her lightly on the lips, as usual willing to forgive even though he didn’t know what was wrong.

‘Thanks for being so understanding,’ she said. ‘I need to talk to you.’

He nodded and, taking her hand, led the way up the steps and into the carvery pub. The waitress showed them to a corner table where they ordered their drinks. Only once they were settled with their plates before them and Adam was concentrating on his food did she begin.

‘Adam, you know when we first met at Uni you thought I didn’t date because of a bad experience?’ He nodded. ‘You were right. I didn’t know it at the time but I’d had a very traumatic experience as a child. I’d shut myself in emotionally and couldn’t bear to let anyone near me. If you hadn’t taken the time to get to know me I don’t think I’d ever have had a relationship or fallen in love. I can’t go into all the details now, I’ve only just found out.’

‘While you were at your aunt’s?’ He’d stopped eating and was looking at her, his face deathly serious.

‘Yes.’

‘I thought as much.’

‘I’m still trying to come to terms with what I now know happened. I’ll tell you everything one day, I promise.’ She paused. He was watching her intently. ‘I need you, Adam, I love you. But if we are going to carry on seeing each other you’ll have to be as patient now as you were at Uni. I want your company but I can’t…’ She stopped, suddenly very self-conscious and unable to say the words. ‘Do you understand what I’m trying to say?’ she finished lamely after a moment.

He nodded and, setting his cutlery on his plate, reached out and took her hand. ‘I think we’ll be watching a lot of television. Don’t worry; take as much time as you need.’