Fourteen

After that night Mandy felt there was an unspoken pact between John and her that whatever happened with Grandpa in the study stayed there and would never be spoken of – now or in the future. When Evelyn came into the study at 6.30 a.m. the following morning, washed and dressed, and asked what sort of night Grandpa had had, John said, ‘Restless,’ and Mandy agreed. When Gran arrived downstairs at 8.45, helped by Evelyn, John had gone for a lie-down, so Mandy repeated the half-truth. ‘Not too good,’ she said, ‘although he did wake briefly. I was able to tell him Mum and Dad had visited.’ Which pleased Gran and made her a little bit happier.

After breakfast with its silver tureens arranged along the sideboard in the morning room, Mandy showered and changed. She was on her way to the study when Evelyn intercepted her. ‘Mandy, I was wondering if you could do me a favour?’

‘Yes?’

‘Gran could do with some more clothes from home. Could you run her over to the bungalow to get what she needs? You could take my car.’

‘Yes, of course,’ Mandy said, feeling that far from it being a favour for Evelyn she would be grateful for a change of scenery and also to spend some time alone with Gran.

She went with Evelyn into the study where Evelyn told Gran of the proposed outing. Gran glanced anxiously at Grandpa. ‘Don’t worry,’ Evelyn reassured her. ‘He’ll be fine. You won’t be long.’

While Evelyn fetched Gran’s shoes and coat Mandy checked her phone. She answered the two texts – one from a friend and one from Adam – and then pressed to return her father’s missed call.

‘Just wondered if there was any change?’ he said. He was at his office desk.

‘No, not really. He had a restless night, but he is comfortable now.’ There was no point in worrying her father further by telling the truth. ‘Gran’s here. I’m taking her to get some things from home. Would you like to speak to her?’

‘Yes, please. We’ll be over again on Sunday.’

Mandy passed her mobile to Gran. ‘Hello, Ray,’ she said, and then, unused to mobiles, took the phone from her ear to speak into the microphone. ‘Pardon?’ she said, having missed Ray’s reply.

Mandy smiled and repositioned the phone to Gran’s ear and they spoke for a few minutes.

‘Incredible,’ she said when she’d finished and returned the phone to Mandy. ‘What will they think of next!’

‘We could buy you a mobile,’ Mandy said. ‘I’d teach you how to use it. It isn’t difficult.’

‘We’ll see. Will’s got one, he knows what to do.’ She smiled wistfully.

Fifteen minutes later Gran was sitting beside her in Evelyn’s Fiat, an automatic that was very easy to drive. They were five minutes into the twenty-minute journey and Mandy thought Gran was appreciating the outing as much as she was. She was very alert, looking out of her side window and making comments on the passing scenery. Mandy recognized that while Gran would never have complained about all the time she spent with Grandpa, first going to the hospital and then in the study-cum-sick room, clearly her life had narrowed too.

A couple of minutes later Mandy decided it was a good opportunity to ask about Mrs Pryce. ‘I recognized Mrs Pryce straight away yesterday. But she didn’t recognize me.’

‘Well, it’s been a long time since she last saw you,’ Gran said, still looking out of her window. ‘You’ve changed a lot.’

‘Ten years,’ Mandy agreed. ‘Do you still see her?’

‘Occasionally. I used to see her at the Women’s Institute, but I haven’t been this year.’

Mandy smiled to herself: she could picture Mrs Pryce and Gran swapping recipes and flower arranging or whatever they did at their WI meetings. ‘The village shop hasn’t changed either,’ Mandy said, glancing at her. ‘Why doesn’t Evelyn use it now?’

‘Not sure,’ Gran said with a small shrug. ‘She used to walk the dog into the village and pop in the store. Perhaps Evelyn’s feeling her age, like me. She doesn’t walk into the village. They order a lot of their stuff on the computer now.’

Mandy didn’t think Evelyn would be pleased if she knew someone thought she might be ‘feeling her age’, for she’d said more than once that the fifties were the new thirties and age was only ‘a state of mind’. Neither did Mandy think the walk was the reason Evelyn no longer patronized the store, not from the abruptness of Evelyn’s ‘I don’t use that store’ and the way Mrs Pryce had gone quiet on being reminded of the time she’d left Evelyn’s service. ‘Why did Mrs Pryce leave?’ Mandy asked after a moment. ‘Do you know?’

There was a short pause, perhaps a small hesitation, before Gran replied. ‘Not sure, love, although I could guess.’ Mandy waited for her to continue, but she didn’t.

‘Why do you think she left?’ Mandy persisted, concentrating on the road ahead.

‘Because it would have been very difficult for her to have stayed,’ Gran said matter-of-factly. ‘What reason have John and Evelyn given for Mrs Pryce leaving?’

This was like playing conundrums, Mandy thought, all of them referring to each other for explanation. ‘John said she just wanted a change.’

‘Well then,’ Gran said.

Well then, nothing, Mandy thought. Either she was becoming paranoid and seeing conspiracy everywhere or Gran was being deliberately obtuse and not telling her something. If she dropped the subject now it would be more difficult to pick up again later and she might not get another opportunity. Gran usually appreciated directness so Mandy decided to take the bull by the horns. ‘Mrs Pryce left at the same time I stopped coming to visit Sarah,’ she said. ‘Was that coincidence or were the two connected?’

‘Probably connected,’ Gran said, now looking straight ahead.

‘How?’

There was another short pause before Gran replied, a little tersely: ‘You will need to ask your father that.’

‘Dad?’ Mandy glanced at her, puzzled. ‘I don’t understand. Why should he know about Mrs Pryce leaving?’

Gran met her gaze, her expression serious yet doubting. Mandy returned her attention to the road and heard Gran say quite sternly: ‘Do you really not remember, Mandy? Or is it that you don’t want to?’

Mandy felt her heart start to race as a now familiar sense of unease began to descend. ‘Remember what?’ she said. ‘Mrs Pryce leaving?’

‘No. The day you left Evelyn’s for the last time. The reason your visits stopped and the two families never spoke again.’

Mandy’s fingers tightened around the wheel as she searched the crevices of her mind for some long-forgotten clue, some hint of what she was being challenged to remember. ‘No. Until I came here three days ago, I wasn’t even aware there was anything to remember.’

Gran said nothing. There was silence. When Mandy spoke again her voice sounded strained and uneven. ‘Gran, Mum and Dad have never spoken of the day I left. But since I’ve come back I’ve been having strange thoughts and dreams, and seeing things. I don’t know how they link, but I’m usually thirteen years old. What happened, Gran? Did I do something dreadful? Is that why I wasn’t allowed to visit Sarah any more? For it seemed quite possible she had done something terrible that had stopped her visits and no one dared speak of.

She glanced at Gran and, just for a second, Mandy thought she was going to tell her something, but then her face stilled again. ‘It wasn’t exactly your fault,’ she said slowly, ‘although you were involved. I can’t tell you, Mandy. I’m not allowed to. You’ll need to speak to your father. He was the one who stopped your visits and forbade us to talk about it. He thought it was for your own good, but I was never sure.’ She turned her head and looked out of the side window again, signalling the matter was closed.

Mandy stared at the road ahead while her thoughts somersaulted. So there was something, something very bad by the sound of it, and she had been involved. She searched her mind again for anything that would allow her into the past, but there was nothing beyond the unsettling flashbacks – if that’s what they were – which had plagued her since entering the house. She glanced at Gran, who was still resolutely looking out of the window, and knew it would be unfair to press her further.

Five minutes later she pulled on to the drive of Gran’s bungalow and cut the engine.