TWENTY-THREE

The six girls sat at a downstairs table in Langan's. Much to the disgust of the staff, their behaviour was anything but acceptable. Suzie's fortieth birthday was the occasion and it had been Chelle's idea to choose this particular restaurant. Taking the fourth bottle of champagne over to them, Beppe, the head waiter, politely asked them to calm it down.

'Wanker,' Chelle muttered, as he walked away.

Hazel swapped chairs with Julie and moved next to Chelle. 'You heard anything from Danny?'

'Yeah. One letter. He politely told me he didn't want me to visit. Hurt, I was, Haze, fucking hurt. I've treated that boy like a son.'

Hazel smiled sympathetically, but said nothing. She had been extremely worried about Michelle lately. Her drinking had escalated out of all control like never before. She had always been a pisshead, but recently she had moved on to another level. She no longer went to the gym or seemed to care about her appearance. She chose to sit indoors alone, drinking, morning, noon and night. Knowing today wasn't the right time to broach the subject, Hazel decided to pay her friend a visit tomorrow and tell her some home truths. Chelle needed help and she needed it fast.

* * *

Billie shot the screw a filthy look and placed DJ back into his carry cot. She should never have brought her baby here in the first place. How dare they search his stuff? Did she look like the type of woman that would use her baby as a drug-runner?

Danny felt apprehensive as he sat at the table, awaiting his visitors. He was dying to see his boy, but nervous about seeing Billie. If she looked at him with hatred, he would be unable to deal with it whilst inside. Seeing his family walking towards him brought a lump to his throat.

Billie Jo looked gorgeous. Dressed in a black, three-quarter-length raincoat, she'd topped it off with a corduroy baker boy hat. Most of the other inmates were married to ugly old dogs and Danny felt like a king as Billie made her way towards him. He could see all the other lads staring at her, clocking her beauty.

Danny kissed her gently on the lips and smiled. 'You look beautiful, babe. It's so good to see you.'

Feeling awkward and not knowing what to say, Billie's initial reaction was to focus on the baby. 'Do you wanna hold him?'

DJ cried as he was picked up by his father. He was used to being held by his mum and Jamie and he wasn't sure of the strange man planting kisses all over him. 'I don't think he remembers me,' Danny said, dejectedly.

As she looked at his hurt expression, Billie felt sorry for him. 'Of course he remembers you. He's just tired, Dan. He didn't sleep very well last night and he was awake all of the journey here.'

'Who brought you up here? Did you ring Leroy to give you a lift?'

Billie took her screaming child from his father and tried to soothe him by stroking his head.

'Jamie brought me up here. I would have rung Leroy, but to be honest, I don't really know him that well. When Jamie offered, it was a blessing in disguise.'

Sitting back on his chair, Danny stretched his feet out. 'Has Jimmy the Fish been round home?'

'He popped round once since I moved to make sure I was OK. He sends money every Friday. One of the lads drops it off, or if I'm not in, they stick it through the letter box.'

With DJ now fast asleep, Danny decided it was as good a time as any to mention what he'd done. Stuck in a cell on his own, he'd had a lot of time to think and he knew he'd been a bastard to Billie Jo. Pulling his chair closer, he propped his elbows on the table and ran his fingers through his dark hair.

'Look, Billie, we can't ignore what happened that night. Believe me, I am so, so sorry for the way I treated you. I don't normally touch drugs, apart from puff. That day I attacked you, a geezer in a pub had given me a tablet. I'm not even sure what it was. I suppose it was an E or something. All I know is, whatever it was sent me off me head and I can't apologise enough to you. I love you so much, Bill, and I need you to give me another chance. I know things are gonna take time, but I need to know you'll be there for me when I get out of this dump. I swear on my mother's life, I'll never let you down again.'

Taking in everything he'd said, Billie forced a weak smile. Part of her still loved him, but she wasn't sure if she could ever truly forgive him. He was genuinely sorry, she was sure of that. Not wanting to commit herself, she held his hands. 'I can't give you an answer right now, Dan. My life at the moment is so fucked up and I need some time to get my head together. I've had so much to deal with. My dad getting killed, the shit with my mum, Jade moving. I became a mother at sixteen, and I can't deal with any more stress or upset right now. I just need some time to myself.'

'I understand.' Stroking her hands with his thumbs, Danny looked intently into her eyes. 'I wanna ask you one question, Bill, and I want you to promise to tell me the truth. Can you do that for me?'

Nodding, Billie smiled. 'Fire away.'

'Do you still love me, Billie?'

DJ letting out a piercing scream saved Billie from answering immediately. As she comforted her son, she thought about her answer. 'You're the father of my child, Danny. I have to love you, my son is part of you.'

The rest of the visit passed smoothly. Billie rambled on about the new house and Danny chatted happily about prison life and Razor. The bell soon signalled the end of their reunion.

'Will you visit me again, Billie?'

Standing up, Billie urged Danny to hold his son. 'I'm not bringing the baby up here any more, Danny. I will get someone to look after him and pop up on my own.'

'OK. Thanks for coming. I'll ring you tonight.'

As he watched her walk away, Danny smirked at the young lad on the next table to him. 'Whaddya think of her?' he asked.

'Well fit. Is she your bird?'

Danny stood up and winked at his fellow inmate. 'She is, but she's one of many, son.'

Laughing, he made his way back to his cell.

Hazel propped Michelle up against the wall and walked back into Langan's. 'I'm so sorry,' she said to Beppe, as she paid the bill with her credit card.

Michelle standing on her chair singing Chas and Dave songs had started the chaos. The fact she'd taken a tumble whilst chanting 'Rabbit' had been the final nail in the coffin. The posh people on the next table had been horrified as the fat drunken woman had landed in their dinner.

Handing Hazel her card and receipt, Beppe gratefully accepted the fifty-pound tip.

'You welcome back here, but not your friend. She barred for life.'

An embarrassed Hazel nodded and left the building.

As he started up the engine, Jamie turned around to face Billie. 'Well, how did it go?'

'OK.' Billie was completely worn out and didn't feel much like talking. Visiting Danny had unsettled her somewhat and she didn't know whether she was coming or going. Sensing her mood, Jamie turned the music up. He loved a bit of Bob Marley and seeing as they were in Brixton, his choice of CD was more than appropriate.

Pleased she'd sat in the back with the baby, Billie stared out of the window. Having being raised in Essex, multicultural areas fascinated her and she loved the hustle and bustle they created. As she shut her eyes, she pictured Jade and her little brother. Jade was coming down tomorrow morning and they were spending the day together. It would be the first time they'd seen one another since the day she'd given birth to DJ. Jade had finally contacted her after she'd left an answerphone message, informing her that Danny was inside. She hadn't mentioned the rape. She and Danny were getting on far too well on the phone for her to speak about that now. Anyway, she wanted to forget about the past. The future was all that mattered now. Asking why Jade hadn't contacted her before was another subject Billie had avoided. The truth could be a bastard and sometimes it was best not to delve into it.

Jamie being around had been a godsend to Billie. He was funny, helpful and great company. In fact, her loneliness had disappeared since he'd presented himself in her life.

'I wanna love ya and treat you right. I wanna love ya every day and every night.'

The soulful voice of Bob Marley was soothing to Billie and she turned her thoughts back to Danny. 'Is this love – is this love – is this love that I'm feeling?' The words could have been written for her, but she was damned if she knew the answer.

Hazel apologised to the guvnor in Henry's and ushered the girls outside. Four places now they'd been asked to leave and although it was a laugh, she'd had a gutful of it. Chelle and Suzie were absolutely rotten. Julie had been sobbing for the last half-hour over some geezer that had dumped her and Donna and Claire, who had never been out with them before, had left ages ago, horrified. Deciding enough was enough, Hazel tried to hail a cab.

'Don't wanna go home. Wanna go Dover Street wine bar,' Chelle slurred.

Slowing down, the cabbie pulled away immediately on seeing his would-be fare. Comforting Julie, Hazel didn't realise the commotion happening behind her. Chelle had purposely tucked her skirt into her thong. Swinging around the lamp-post as though she was a lap dancer in Spearmint Rhino, Chelle treated every commuter leaving work to a view of her big fat arse. Unfortunately for Chelle, spinning around a lamp-post wasn't the greatest idea she'd ever had. She immediately felt dizzy, collapsed onto the pavement and hit her head. Unable to wake her, Hazel ordered the girls to drag Chelle to a nearby doorway. Hazel rang her eldest boy, Aaron, and ordered him to come and collect them and to get there fast.

* * *

Holding DJ above his head, Jamie watched him smile. He was a cute kid, a proper little boy, and he'd grown to love him as though he was his own. As he handed him back to Billie Jo, he glanced at his watch. 'I suppose I'd better make tracks now, Bill.'

'Don't go, Jamie. You've been a star today, driving me all the way to Brixton. Let me cook you dinner as a thank-you.'

Jamie didn't need much persuading. Smiling, he snatched the baby back and sank onto the sofa. The last few months, being around Billie and the boy had made him the happiest he'd ever been. He'd accepted ages ago that friendship was all that there was between him and Bill. Once she'd had Danny's baby, any hopes he'd had of a romance had been well and truly forgotten. He could honestly say that he loved Billie, but he didn't look at her in a sexual way, just as a friend. DJ was the bollocks and Jamie couldn't wait till he met the right girl himself and had kiddies of his own.

Jamie's hearty laugh caused Billie to poke her head around the door. DJ was lying on the floor, giggling away at his tormentor. Ducking out of sight, Billie carried on watching. Her son loved Jamie and was at his happiest when he was around. As she heard the sound of the potatoes boiling over, she dashed back to the stove. Spending time with Jamie had shown her what family life should be like. Togetherness, fun and laughter.

Danny was a different breed to Jamie. Could he ever become the perfect family man? Billie only wished she knew the answer.