SCENE THIRTEEN
Deedee’s house. Night. The TV is on. Shahid and Chili enter.
Shahid Where’s Deedee? Where is she?
Brownlow Thankfully, I no longer care. Probably making a list of a few more names to slip to the police.
Chili (brandishing his knife) Where’s Strapper?
Shahid (pushing Chili away) Have you seen her?
Brownlow Finished rogering my wife, Tariq? I imagined your religion frowned on such things. Or have you had enough of her? Wouldn’t blame you, sticking to your own. Especially with fiery cadre like Tahira.
Shahid Is Deedee all right?
Brownlow ‘LBJ, LBJ, how many kids you burned today?’
Chili Who’s burning kids?
Brownlow That was our chant at Cambridge in the sixties when students were a united force, pissing on the gods of authority. Now you guys, in the most reactionary period since the war, have picked up the baton.
Shahid But you’re out of it, aren’t you? You’re fucking off, leaving everything.
Brownlow What’s there to teach when there is no longer any knowledge to transmit? I’m off to Italy. Or France. Or maybe Spain. What does it matter? Everyone’s standing by their own miserable class or race. Rudder’s going to say the book’s an insult and call for it to be withdrawn. The Tory leader’s agreed to do the same.
Shahid What the fuck for?
Brownlow Don’t be naive, there’s a lot of Asian votes to be had round there. (Ironic.) Up the revolution! Did I tell you, Riaz has been invited on Newsnight to give his opinion on the fatwa?
Shahid Stop pissing me about!
Brownlow Don’t know who’s pissing whom.
Chili Any booze in the house?
Brownlow (to Shahid, referring to Chili) I see you’re enjoying a different class of friend, Tariq.
Chili Tosser.
Brownlow (to Shahid) Riaz’s eyes went all bright when he heard. He’ll make a fascinating freak on TV. For a week or month. Just when you thought God was dead and buried, you realise he was merely awaiting resurrection! Every fucker’s discovering some god inside them now. Who am I to challenge this?
Shahid Help us find Deedee!
Brownlow There we were, right up to the end of the seventies, arguing about society after the revolution, and all the while it was being taken from us. The British people don’t want education, arts, justice, equality … Everything I believed has turned into shit.
Shahid You’re a spineless bastard.
Brownlow I’ve been called worse, Tariq.
Shahid (pushing him) My name is Shahid!
Chili That’s – manly – bro.
Brownlow (leaving) Look – no stutter, see?
Brownlow exits.
Shahid (shouting) Deedee!
Chili Ahh, soft, bro – always call a woman softly …
Deedee enters from the kitchen.
Deedee What more do you want, Andrew …? (Sees Shahid and Chili.) What’re you doing here?
Shahid We’ve been looking everywhere for you.
Deedee Did Andrew let you in?
Shahid Forget it. Chad and the others know where you live.
Deedee What?
Shahid They’re out for revenge. They’re coming for you. Me too, now.
Deedee Will you talk sense!
Shahid You called in the police and I fucked around with their master’s words.
Deedee looks at him quizzically.
I rewrote some of Riaz’s poetry. Didn’t mean to. I was just playing as I was thinking of you – to see where it would take me. I was going to change it back. Riaz and the gang think it’s blasphemy.
Deedee They’re coming here?
Chili Any booze in the house? I need a pick-me-up. Booze and a little nap, yeah, just a little sleep.
Deedee (to Shahid) And you’ve brought him – (indicating Chili) – to help?
Chili puts his arms around Deedee and whispers. Deedee laughs.
Shahid (tetchy) Chili.
Deedee (to Shahid) Your big brother wants to put my tits in his mouth.
Chili It’s worth trying.
Shahid Chili!
Chili I’m lonely, all right? Tonight I want a human touch. To feel warm skin. Is that too much to ask? (To Shahid.) All right, all right. (To Deedee.) Any drink in the house, Deedee Osgood? Then I’m ready to take on any fucker who comes to annoy you. Me and my bottle will stand guard on the stairs. That’s where the enemy will come in, through the upstairs windows!
Shahid Make sure you lock it – and the back door.
Chili Toot sweet, bro, toot sweet. – Where’s your back door, Deedee?
Deedee Fuck it if they’re going to make me a prisoner in my own house. I’m going to cook. (Taking Chili.) Come on, let’s find a bottle for you.
Deedee takes Chili off. The door rattles.
Strapper (off) It’s only me, Strapper, the Strap. Official visit, man.
Shahid opens the front door. Strapper strolls in.
Shahid I thought you were with your old pal Trevor.
Strapper Chad’s a religious type, he see everything from underneath. You just wanna be white and forget your own. (He shouts.) You and your bro just wanna shag the white bitches! That why he don’t go for you no more.
Shahid I wish I hadn’t let you in.
Strapper How were you gonna keep me out, cunt? Hey, don’t touch me, man.
Shahid Get out of here.
Strapper The brothers burned the book, right? Funny how you people get into more of a state about a book than about the suffering people.
Shahid (pushing him towards the door) You’re making me suffer now, Strapper.
Strapper I wouldn’t get heavy. Thing is, brown boy, your Chili owes me money. Where’s he hiding round here?
He suddenly jumps and holds the front door wide open.
(Shouts in a military voice.) All clear!
Chad, Tahira and Hat enter.
Shahid You bastard!
Chad grabs Shahid in an armhold and offers him to Hat, while Strapper looks on.
Chad Here’s the scum, as expected – holed up with his bitch. So obvious. Now, brothers, get to work on the spy, the infidel, the traitor! Go on. Go on.
Hat But me papa will be looking for me!
Chad Your father? What’s he got to do with this?
Hat I can’t stay.
Chad Beat him! This idiot hates us and he hates God! Give Satan one!
Tahira Satan! Satan!
Tahira knees Shahid in the crotch and repeatedly boots him.
Chad The evil spirit has gone down!
Shahid staggers up. Tahira kicks him again. Deedee runs in.
Deedee Leave him!
Chad (bars her way) He belong to us now. Let us take him, bitch, and there’ll be no trouble for you! We’re going to deal with the spy.
Tahira He deceived and spat on his own, wallowing in filth.
Deedee Let go of him!
Chad Eye for an eye – that so hard to understand, Miss Post-Colonial Studies?
Deedee Very cute, Mr Trevor.
Chad (raises his hand to strike her) Don’t use that name on me!
Deedee (jibing) What’s wrong, Mohammad Shahabuddin Ali-Shah?
Riaz enters.
Chad Here he is. Sick, sick, sick as you prophesied.
Tahira More sick now.
Chad We’ve captured both of them! What now, brother? What action to take immediately? Which step do you want? Shall we take him away? Or finish him here?
Riaz (to Shahid) You’ve pierced my heart, Shahid … Do you want to stand always alone? Or be one with the ummah that is your heart’s only family?
Shahid I’ll find my own ummah, thanks.
Riaz Bring him for interrogation! We will purify those who cannot purify themselves. He must be shown the raging fires of hell.
He turns to lead them out.
Hat (in horror) Brothers! It that maniac!
Chili stands on the stairs above them, brandishing his knife.
Chili Hello, all. Robert De Niro’s waiting.
Strapper Chili-boy!
Chili O ye of little faith, Strap!
Strapper (jigging furiously) It’s going up, it’s going up! Fuck everything! Fuck you all!
Chad Right! We’ll halal them all now.
He squares up to Chili.
Chili Yeah? I don’t like kosher meat.
Chili flies into the gang, knocking Chad, Tahira and Hat out of the way and grabs Riaz, holding the knife to his throat.
(To the others.) Now fuck off, all of you! Or else this brother gets halal-ed.
Riaz (terrified) Go, go.
Chad Leave him! Or you get it!
Chad takes a step forward, Chili touches Riaz with the knife and Riaz bleeds. Chad stops.
Chili (to Riaz) And get this fucking shirt off! I told you it were mine, man, now give it back.
Riaz, confused, looks to Chad.
Now!
Riaz takes off the shirt.
Chad I’ll halal you for this, I swear.
Chili Yeah, yeah. Bigger boys than you have tried to take on Chili. (To Riaz.) Pants too.
Riaz complies.
Chad You an evil spirit – how can you make brother Riaz change in front of women?
Chili He got something he ain’t proud of? (To Riaz.) My fucking socks as well!
Riaz is forced to complete the undressing.
Chad You goin’ straight to hell!
Chili Just the place I want! Care to join me there? Now fuck off out of here with your poodles! Then I’ll release this one!
Chad There are hundreds like us, hundreds and thousands!
Chili What you waiting for – bring them on!
They go, and Chili flings Riaz out.
Riaz We will start another experiment, insha’Allah!
Chili Yeah, yeah.
Deedee (concerned) Shahid …
Shahid I’m all right. Really.
Deedee Time we had a proper meal.
Chili I’ve had all I can stomach, babe.
A beat.
Deedee Take care of yourself, Chili.
Deedee goes to the kitchen.
Chili (to Shahid) Hug me, bro.
They embrace.
Shahid Thanks for saving my balls.
Chili Cool entrance, eh? Someone should have videoed it. You okay?
Shahid Sore all over. Going somewhere?
Chili nods.
With Strapper?
Chili Yeah.
Shahid After what he did?
Chili Will you talk to Ammi for me? Say I’m okay? Getting better? You know what to say.
Shahid Toot sweet, brother.
Chili Yeah.
Chili exits, with Strapper. Deedee leaves the room.
There is a tapping on the window. Shahid grabs a knife and investigates. Hat is knocking. Shahid opens the window.
Hat Will you listen if I say something? Please, Shahid.
Shahid Why should I trust you?
Hat I trying to say I sorry about what happened.
Shahid Oh, yeah.
Hat Please listen! There’s no one else – I alone! Because Allah is forgiving and merciful, I will only show love and consideration for others. I ashamed of what we did.
Shahid Why?
Hat Whatever you done, it not my place to condemn another person. Only God can do that. I was wrong to put myself in that position, as if I never done wrong things. I hope you don’t turn away from Allah.
Shahid To tell you the truth, Hat – I’m sick of being bossed around, whether by Riaz or Chad or God himself. Brother, what we do, and the things we make, is more interesting than anything that God is supposed to have done. Do your accountancy, Hat. You’ll regret it if you don’t pass.
Hat I disagree. But I get what you say. I said what I have to.
He starts to leave.
Shahid Where are you going?
Hat To paradise. Please forgive me. Forgive all of us and may there be mercy.
Hat leaves. Deedee enters.
Shahid I want to be with you.
Deedee For as long as it lasts?
Shahid For as long as that.
They embrace.
A beat.
Dawn. Hat is seen carrying a rucksack. He bends down to take it off his shoulders. An explosion. Hat is killed. Sounds of sirens. Ambulances, fire engines, police cars and flashing lights.
Deedee and Shahid go out. There is a pall of smoke.
Shahid and Deedee look at each other.
Shahid I want to see my mother. Come with me? Then we can go to the sea – I know a place. I’ve decided. I know what to write.
She holds out her hand. He takes it and they walk off, towards the dawn.
Mobile phones start ringing, coalescing into sounds of wild celebrations at news of London winning the 2012 Olympics. Four young men appear, wearing baseball caps and with rucksacks slung on their backs.
Blackout.