Chad She against authority yet called police in! Brother Riaz has said that Osgood must be removed from her post for her attacks on minorities.

Tahira And today she prevented our free expression. Isn’t that racist censorship, Shahid?

Shahid You got your moment on TV.

Hat She’s left her office.

Chad With my usual genius I’ve thought of what to do. Tonight we visit her private home.

Shahid (alarmed) What?

Chad In order to learn, she must be taught a lesson.

Shahid What are you doing?

Chad Riaz is waiting for us at the mosque.

He snatches the disc from Hat.

I’m returning his property.

Shahid (reaches for it) It’s not finished.

Chad It finished.

He tosses the disc to Hat.

Check it out. Go!

Hat leaves.

(Hauling up the prone Strapper.) And you, Mr Strapper, you’re coming with us.

Strapper (in a daze) What the – Hey, Trevor!

Chad I told you that’s not my truth.

Strapper Where we going, man?

Chad To sniff her out. Osgood – no good!

Tahira Osgood – no good! (To Shahid.) You hear?

They leave. Chili stirs.

Shahid Come on, Chili – get yourself together!

Chili What fucking mess you in, little brother?

Shahid We need to get to Deedee’s.

Chili Never chase women.

Tonight I want a human touch. Decent bed. Clean sheets. Let’s go to her place and party, toot sweet!

Shahid Got your knife?

Chili (flicks open his knife) You don’t go round London without one.

Hat enters.

Hat (in a state, to Shahid) What you do that for, brother?

Chili Respect – that’s my brother you talking to!

Shahid Where’s my disc, Hat?

Hat You know what you’ve done.

Shahid No.

Hat I converted Riaz’s poems on my printer.

Shahid Already?

Hat Yeah.

Shahid I see.

Hat I couldn’t believe it!

Shahid I hadn’t finished.

Hat Finished?

Shahid The poems –

Hat How d’you think brother Riaz will feel, standing so proud and all, waiting for his rhymes to come out printed and clean so he could hold it in his hands and show his friends?

Shahid The original manuscript hasn’t been touched.

Hat Him be shattered to pieces when he sees this.

Shahid It’s a celebration. Of passion.

Hat (realises) You been seeing that Miss Osgood, haven’t you? And collaborating with her all this time! You a raving evil spirit and a double agent!

Chili For being with a woman?! (To Shahid.) What friends you call these, bro?

Shahid Hat, did you like any of what I did?

Hat I can be a bit dirty-minded myself, but that stuff … You a sewer rat. I don’t go and put an essay on girls crossing their legs –

Shahid And on the smell of their hair, and on the skin behind their knees –

Hat Yeah! The odours of their body and everything like that – people sniffing one another’s, you know, doo-dahs.

Shahid Didn’t God give us our doo-dahs?

Hat I wouldn’t put them into print and mix it up with religious words, would I?

Shahid I want us to be friends, Hat.

Hat Why rape us then? Chad said that brother Riaz saved your life one time.

Shahid Yes.

Hat That why you turn on him?

Shahid Hat, please believe me. I was just playing with words.

Hat Our religion isn’t something you can test out, like trying on a suit to see if it fit!

Shahid Please, Hat, help me. I want to speak to Riaz alone. Just for half an hour. I want to explain everything. Will you talk to him without letting Chad know?

Hat Brother Chad and all of us, we trusted you – apart from Tahira, who say from the beginning you an egotist with an evil smile. And then Riaz put his soulful words in your hands. It would have been a privilege for any of us! But he think you special. How can you think to bother Riaz right now? He busy planning.

Shahid What?

Hat Just retributions.

Shahid Like what?

Hat I can’t tell you.

Shahid Will you give me back the disc?

Hat I can’t do that.

Shahid Then see you.

Hat Where you going?