CHAPTER NINE

Measuring time in the Realm of the Dead was next to impossible. There was no sun in the overcast sky.

No day. No night. Just an eternal gray twilight. Tod didn't much care for it, but he didn't much care for very many parts of Desaphanus's universe. Most of them, in fact.

Some flowers would have really brightened up the realm. Tod didn't see why the first step into death had to be such a ridiculously dismal experience. But his brother had always been a tad somber. It was a wonder the universe had any bright spots at all.

So Tod waited. And waited. And waited. Elder gods were timeless beings, and yet, it seemed to take forever. The Isle of the Dead filled with souls needing judgment, and for lack of space, three dozen overloaded barges were anchored offshore. Worst of all was the tremendous din of thousands of restless dead, ready to get on with their afterlife.

"Excuse me."

He looked up at the four pale angels hovering overhead. "Yes?"

"Would you be Tod?"

He nodded. The only gesture possible in the crowd, and even then he risked banging heads with those jammed around him.

The muscular angel plucked him from the mob.

"Thanks. I was beginning to lose the feeling in my legs."

"Sorry about the delay, sir."

"No problem. I understand. End of the universe and all that."

They turned away from the Hall and headed towards the Gray Sea.

"We're going the wrong way."

"No, sir. There's been a change of plans. You're needed elsewhere."

"Oh. For what?"

She paused a moment before answering. "I wouldn't know, sir. I only follow orders."

A few curious glances were exchanged among the escort. Tod noticed a strange smile across the lips of the chubby one.

In his current condition, he was far from all-knowing, but it didn't take nigh-omniscience to see that something was amiss. But, as they had already left the island behind with only the placid ocean beneath them, he couldn't do much to prevent it. Orcs were lousy swimmers, in general, and Tod, in particular, could barely keep his thick bones afloat. Water ranked among his less favorite elements. He didn't exactly care for it, but he didn't hate it either. It had good uses, like keeping things clean and giving fish a place to live. But suspended over a billion gallons of it, far from anything remotely resembling solid ground, he suddenly found the liquid a touch more unpleasant.

He didn't even know why the Realm of the Dead needed a sea in the first place. It had no tides, and nothing lived in the chilly waters. It served no apparent purpose other than to encircle the Isle of the Departed in a dismal manner. All rather pointless to Tod's thinking, but Desaphanus had always been big on appearances for appearance's sake.

"Are we going to see Xyreen?" Tod asked, trying not to look down.

"No."

The somewhat skinny angel sighed. "I think this is far enough. Even if someone did see us, they couldn't stop us now."

The angel carrying Tod slowed. She looked over her shoulder. The isle was barely a dot on the horizon.

"I suppose this will do."

"For what?" Tod asked. "This will do for what?"

They ignored him.

The chubby death angel drew her sword. "I get to do it."

"No you don't. I get to."

"Why you?"

"Because I found him."

"It was my plan," the muscular angel pointed out.

"'Let's take him out and stab him.' You call that a plan?"

"It worked, didn't it?"

The four angels changed. Their white hair grew darkest black. Fingers became claws as the feathers fell from backs to reveal bat wings. These were not divine servants. They were Fallen succubi. And they were going to kill him. If they could ever make up their mind as to who got the honor.

Tod squirmed in the tight grip of the one that held him.

"There's no point in that," she said. "If I drop you, you'll just drown."

Tod stopped struggling. "Okay. You're right. But why me?"

The chubby succubus twirled her sword. "Because our lord has placed a price on your head."

"And because we're evil," the thin-faced one pointed out.

"Well, that goes without saying."

A clumsy attempt was made to slice Tod in half, but he was jerked out of the way. The demons squabbled as Tod hovered between cold steel and icy water.

"We have to decide some way."

They murmured agreement.

"We could always split the reward," the chubby one suggested.

They shared a chuckle.

"Draw straws?" the skinny succubus proposed.

"I like that idea."

"You'd just cheat."

"And you wouldn't?"

The muscular succubus switched Tod to one hand, holding him by his collar. "Let's face it. There's really only one way to settle this."

The other three nodded. Swords were drawn, and steely looks were passed.

"What about him?"

Tod swallowed a lump.

"Please try not to drown. One of us will be with you shortly."

He hit the freezing Gray Sea with a splash. The demons flitted about in vicious aerial combat. Swords clanged. Curses were exchanged.

Tod wasn't afraid. He was too busy trying to save himself to be frightened. He dug deep within, searching for that spark of elder godhood he knew he had. And he found it. Or rather, he found a tiny piece of it. Perhaps the only piece that had not moldered away after ages of neglect. His limbs stiffened as he called it up. He struggled to keep his head above water while bending reality beneath his will. The chubby succubus fell first, eliminated from the running with a decapitating stroke.

Reality rippled but resisted. This was far more difficult than conjuring a herring for the Cat.

"Come on," Tod grunted. "Come on." His mouth filled with water that went down the wrong pipe. His concentration disintegrated in a fit of choking coughs.

A blade pierced the heart of the thin-faced demon. She tumbled into the water. The last two circled each other.

Now Tod was afraid. His instincts whispered in his ear. Something told him that there was far more at stake here than his own life, and an elder god's hunches were not to be ignored.

He closed his eyes and felt the universe twist beneath his will. In the lifeless waters of the Gray Sea, something was born of a desperate effort from an even more desperate elder god. He couldn't create life and tread water at the same time. So he sank.

The muscular demon noticed the prize dipping below the surface. "Damn. Don't just gawk. We have to save him."

"So what if he drowns?"

"Lord Kalb will want proof. We can't lose the body."

The demons circled the area.

"Where is he?"

"I think I see him. Yes, there he is."

"Where?"

The skinny succubus pointed to a blue head bobbing to the surface. "There."

"Thanks."

The skinny demon uttered a weak gasp as her companion stabbed her in the back. The last succubus flew over to Tod. She raised her sword with a gleeful smile. "I'll make this quick."

The Gray Sea bubbled as something rose from its depths. The size of a large ship, it lifted Tod out of the cold water atop its enormous shell. The beast was a curious assemblage of shark, crab, and octopus with just a hint of turtle and sea serpent here and there. It was a hideous amalgamation, but Tod hadn't created it for aesthetics. Its purpose was far more straightforward: to eat succubi.

The shark-crab-octopus thing lashed out with a lightning quick tentacle. The demon struggled, but she was promptly and with predatory efficiency popped into the creature's beak. It shrieked a satisfied screech.

Tod breathed a sigh of relief. It was short lived.

The succubi-eater plucked its maker from its shell and held him before its eyestalks. Fortunately, in his haste Tod had not forgotten to give his creation an instinctive distaste for anything orcish blue. It threw him back before sinking below the waves.

He was still far from safe. The isle was a long way off, and his legs were already cramping up. He'd escaped death by demon for a watery grave.

He tried to create a helpful dolphin to tow him ashore. A stabbing pain developed in his right eye, and nothing happened. Creating the succubi-eater had drained his diminished nigh-omnipotent power. An anchovy was beyond him at the moment. In the distance, several angels were heading his way, drawn by the call of the succubi-eater. His muscles surrendered to the cold water, and Tod disappeared beneath the water one last time.

At least he hoped they were angels.