CHAPTER THREE

The Overlord of the Damned had not been created a monstrous incarnation of all the foul evil to exist within the universe. When the cosmos was young, Desaphanus had blessed him with a physical form of utter perfection, the first flawless being to serve the Lord of Creation in running the universe. But that had been long ago. So long ago, Kalb could no longer remember what his original body had looked like. He only knew it was as beautiful as his current form was terrifying.

He stood twenty feet tall and half as wide. Four cruel yellow eyes were set in his ebony ferret's head.

His body was an impossible mix of bulging muscles under rippling lumps of fat. His arms reached to the ground, each tipped with three fingered hands and talons designed to tear apart the Damned. His three legs each belonged to a different beast, one a lizard's, the second a buzzard's, and the third a goat's.

None of which approached the same length, which made his walk a shambling gait. An ever-hungry viper grew from his rear, and it would take an occasional nip from Kalb whenever he forgot to feet it.

Shadowy wings grew from his shoulders. And a single horn erupted from his forehead. Among the legion of the Fallen, there were many horrors, and Kalb was the greatest horror of all.

"Your judgment, sir?"

"Terribly sorry, but could you repeat the question?"

"What manner of torment do you decree for this lost soul?"

Kalb looked upon the fat soul trembling before him. "And what were his crimes again?"

The minor devil sighed. She ran her finger down the manifest of sins. "Murder, theft, betrayal, gluttony, and assorted acts of a weak and thoroughly corrupted character."

"The usual, eh?"

"Yes, sir."

Kalb slouched in his throne as he pronounced sentence. He did not use his booming voice of doom nor did he summon the screaming flames of the Hollows. "For your sins, I condemn you to push a boulder up Mount Skraahh for eternity. Next."

The wardens carried off the sobbing Damned. Kalb sunk lower in his chair.

"Something wrong, sir?"

"What's that?"

"Are you feeling well?"

"Perfectly divine," he replied with a devilish grin he'd refined over the eons. "Why do you ask?"

The devil closed the manifest and cleared her throat. What she was about to say risked the unholy anger of her lord, but it had to be said. She crouched low and prepared to run for her life.

"Forgive me for saying so, sir, but you have not been yourself of late."

The Overlord of the Damned grumbled. "In what way?"

The devil stepped back. "Well, your decrees have been somewhat less imaginative of late. That was the twelfth soul you've condemned to boulder pushing today."

He cast his bloodshot eyes in her direction, and the devil was certain she would be decapitated with a single swipe.

"Is there anything wrong with pushing a boulder?"

"No, sir. It is a very unpleasant way to spend eternity, I'm sure. Yet at the same time, some of the other Fallen and I have noticed a certain...shall we say... melencholy in your work."

Kalb stood, and the devil trembled beneath his shadow. "Do you have any inkling of how difficult it is to come up with a different punishment for everyone that comes through here?"

The devil's knees trembled. "Impossible, I can imagine, and no one could be expected to do a better job than you have, sir."

Kalb snorted. Green flames erupted from his nostrils and neatly singed her. He snatched his minion in one hand and opened his jaws.

"Mercy, great Kalb."

"Eh?" He plucked her cranium from his maw.

"Mercy?" she repeated, knowing full well the request was beyond him. The dark heart of Lord Kalb knew nothing but fury, hatred, and anger. Anger at the elder god who had consigned him to the Hollows and at all things of that god's creation, which was everything, including Kalb himself. The devil fell from his grip, bouncing hard against the rough stone.

Kalb smacked his lips. "Eh, what's the point?"

"The point, sir?"

The Overlord of the Damned hobbled to the edge of the cliff and took in his kingdom in its entirety, a twisted landscape of the Damned and their keepers from the Boiling Lakes to the Freezing Caverns and the Flaying Pits. The Hollows was a miserable place for lost soul and demon alike, but it was all his.

The devil slipped closer to Kalb, wary of his tail. While she was pleasantly surprised to find herself whole, this confirmed her master was clearly out of sorts.

"What's your name?" he asked without looking at her.

"I have no name, sir. I'm just a minor devil. We don't live long enough to bother with them."

"That won't do. From this moment on, you shall be known as Staggia. How's that sound?"

"As you have decreed, sir, so let it be done."

"Please. I've had enough fawning to last me forever. You may address me as Kalb. May I ask you a question, Staggia?"

"Certainly, Lord Kalb."

"It's Kalb. Just Kalb."

"As you wish, Kalb."

The stone of the Hollows rose to his command and formed a stump for him to sit on. He willed another for Staggia. "Do you every wonder why?"

"Why what?"

"Just why. Why must we rot away in this abysmal hole? Why must the Damned be supervised? Why must any of this be?"

"The Great Rebellion?" she replied cautiously.

Kalb chuckled. "Ah, yes, the Great Rebellion. What a terribly shortsighted idea that was. What was I thinking? As if any army had the slightest chance of overthrowing Desaphanus."

"But you nearly succeeded."

"Nearly, but only because he allowed me to. In the end, there really wasn't any question about it. The entire thing was doomed to failure. You can't beat an elder god.."

"But, Kalb, surely you do not doubt that one day you shall rise from the Hollows with the Legion of the Damned and cast Desaphanus from the Place of Heavens. It is your destiny."

"That's just it. I have no destiny but what Desaphanus allows me. I rebelled against him because that was what he had always intended, and I rot in this wretched place because that was his plan from the beginning. I'm nothing but a puppet, dancing to his merry tune. You'll excuse me if I lack enthusiasm."

"But, Lord Kalb..."

"But nothing. In the end, I'm just another one of those wretched casualties squirming in the lakes or screaming on the rack. I guess what I'm trying to say, Staggia, is that when it comes to regrets..well, let's just say I have a few and leave it at that."

Kalb's viper tail latched onto his shoulder. He paid it no mind.

"Don't get me wrong. I still know I could run the universe better than that egotistical old fool up there.

That's the way he made me. Arrogant and evil by nature as was his intention, I'm sure. He brought evil into the world just like everything else, but no one dares mention that. Oh no, heaven forbid anyone suggest the creator of the universe might have made a mistake or two. Can't have that, can we?"

"No, Kalb."

"You'll have to forgive me, dear Staggia. No more pathetic a sight than the King of Evil feeling sorry for himself." He leaned closer to the minor devil and cracked a grin. "I suppose I should kill you now.

Wouldn't do to show weakness in front of the troops. Might end up with a rebellion of my own."

She jiggled her head vaguely in a manner that was neither a shake nor a nod.

He yawned. "Mustn't keep the Damned waiting. Desaphanus wouldn't like that. Not that I can imagine there is much more he could do to me, but I'm sure he could think up something."

"Yes, sir."

"Kalb."

"Yes, Kalb."

A trio of lesser imps darted forth and circled his head. He swatted them away, killing one outright and maiming another. He raised his buzzard's foot to crush the merely stunned third imp. "Annoying little..."

"Lord Kalb, spare me! I bring you news of great importance!"

The imp squished softly between Kalb's toes. He nabbed up the maimed imp with two fingers. "What are you talking about?"

The messenger gasped in his master's tight grip. "Desaphanus is dead. While invisible, we followed the cursed angel Pira to the Palace of Heavens and saw his immense bloated corpse with our own eyes.

Mercy, Lord Kalb. I beg of you."

"I don't know why they always do that," Kalb remarked as he picked imp bits from his teeth. He tossed the other two to his viper, which slurped them down greedily before taking a nip out of his thigh. "Come along, dear Staggia. This is certainly worth looking into."

"What about them?" She pointed to the line of the Damned, stretching as far as the eye could see and getting longer by the moment.

"They've got all eternity. I think they can wait."

Kalb, the Overlord of the Damned, grinned in a way he had not grinned in a very long time. Within his mind, dark thoughts were already forming. Dark thoughts and even darker ambitions.

Staggia's misshapen heart skipped a beat. "Good to have

you back, sir."