chapter forty-five

Clarissa walked into the one place she never thought she’d come again. Back to Mercy Hospital. Energized by her visit to Paige, she realized this was the one thing she still needed to do before she could even think of moving on with her life. Now that Mrs. Vaerge was awake, it was time to come and apologize—take whatever the woman might throw at her, because they both knew that Clarissa deserved it.

She didn’t bother with the fake ID badge this morning. She would just walk in during visiting hours like she belonged there. She wouldn’t stay long.

A glance at her watch told her visitation would start in a couple of minutes. She got into the elevator, her heart pounding in an entirely new way. What would she say to this woman? “I’m sorry we gave you the wrong thing, but I sure am glad you didn’t take any, so your heart attack is not my fault”? Come to think of it, if she didn’t take any, why did Clarissa need to talk to her at all?

She didn’t know the answer to that; she only knew that she needed to. And after the last few months of turmoil and disquiet, she was ready to do whatever it took to start over. To become someone new. Someone more like the person she knew her grandmother would’ve wanted her to be.

Clarissa got off the elevator just in time to see the nurse open the door from the unit to the visiting area. “Okay, everyone. Time for a quick visit.”

Clarissa filed in behind a man about her own age and went straight to Mrs. Vaerge’s bed, thankful that no one had questioned her right to be there. Mrs. Vaerge was lying back against the pillows, holding her forehead with her right hand as if she had a headache. She let the hand drop as soon as she saw Clarissa. “Hello there, young lady. Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Clarissa walked inside the divided area, but just barely. She wanted to make a quick escape. “I don’t suppose you did. I didn’t expect to see myself here.”

The older woman nodded to a chair beside the bed. “Take a seat.”

“Uh, no thanks. I don’t want to keep you long. I just wanted to come by and say how sorry I am that all this happened.”

“I had a heart attack. End of story. Wadn’t your fault, no reason for you to be sorry about it.”

“Maybe it wasn’t my fault, but it easily could have been. If you hadn’t had a heart attack last week, you likely would have had one in the next few weeks. Because of the mistake that I let happen. And it wasn’t just a mistake. It was something I was doing that was plain old wrong and I knew it.”

“You’re a lucky young lady, then. You made a mistake, found out about it, and no harm came of it. Now you got a chance to do it over.” She rubbed her hand across her forehead again and took a deep breath. “Can I ask you one thing?”

“Sure.”

“Will you tell Paige something for me?”

“I’d be happy to, but wouldn’t you rather tell her yourself? I’m sure she’ll be in to see you in the next day or two.”

“This is something for both of you, and it’s best shared together.”

The woman had offered forgiveness. Who was Clarissa to argue the little points? “What shall I tell her?”

“Romans thirteen, twelve.”

“Excuse me?”

“Romans thirteen, twelve. You ask Paige, she’ll explain it to you.”

“Okay.” Clarissa looked over her shoulder at the stack of monitors that lined the nurses’ station. “Well, I better go.”

“On your way out, would you ask the nurse to come in here?”

“Sure.” Clarissa walked out of the small enclosure and across to the desk. “Excuse me, Mrs. Vaerge asked for a nurse.”

A pretty redhead looked up from the chart she was writing in. “Okay, I’ll be right there.”

Clarissa walked out of the unit, hoping that maybe tonight she could get a good night’s sleep—for the first time in a long time.

She entered the elevator with a group of three medical interns. As they moved downward, a sense of relief washed over her with each floor they descended. The interns talked quietly about potential nephritis in a patient they were following, when suddenly all three of their pagers buzzed simultaneously.

Clarissa had worked around the hospital enough to know a facility-wide page when she heard one. There was a code blue somewhere.

The only female in the group, a petite blonde, looked down at the readout. “I guess we’re going back up. CCU, bed 10.”

Clarissa’s heart fell faster than the elevator. CCU bed 10 was Ora Vaerge.

Waiting for Daybreak
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