Dawn rolled over to find the bed empty. Not that it surprised her. There was no way Jack could have come in last night without her knowing. Her frustration had grown into fury and kept her from ever falling into a deep sleep. Kept her from sleeping at all for that matter.
Bam! Bam!
The pounding on the front door shook the windows in her bedroom. Jack had most likely lost his key. Or left it at—wherever it was he’d been all night. Well, Dawn wasn’t going to let the two-timing obnoxious jerk in. He could stay outside and rot for all she cared.
Bam! Bam!
The sliding door on the back side of the house rattled. Apparently he wasn’t ready to give up just yet. Come to think of it, now might be a good time to have a little face-off. He could see and hear her through the door, but he couldn’t get to her.
She bounded down the hallway and leapt into the small living room. “You can stay outside and rot—”
Two sets of eyes stared at her through the glass doors. Rumpled clothes, smudged faces, unbrushed hair. Jack’s kids.
Dawn slid the door open, conscious of the shortness of her sleeping shirt. “Nicole, Jeremy. What are you two doing here?”
Jeremy pushed past her and into the living room. “We’re staying with Dad this weekend.”
Lack of sleep or no, Dawn knew the schedule better than that. “No, it’s next weekend. The first weekend of the month. Remember?” She looked out into the backyard. “Where’s your mother?”
Jeremy sat on the couch. “She’s going to Atlanta to some concert. She and Dad talked about it last week. He said we could stay here.”
Dawn ran to the front door and threw it open. She needed to catch Renee before she drove away. Regardless of what Jack might have offered, he wasn’t here, and Dawn wasn’t baby-sitting.
The driveway was empty, the street quiet. She turned back to Jeremy. “Who brought you here?”
“Mom.”
“Where’d she go?”
“She was running late, so she dropped us at the curb.”
A pink ballerina backpack rested on the front porch, a Tennessee Titans duffle at the bottom of the steps. Like it or not, this decision was made.
Well, as soon as Jack got home, Dawn was out of here. These kids were not her problem. She would go have some fun for a change.
“Bring in your packs, then go see what’s on TV.”
She watched the two kids slump past her to the den. How had she gotten stuck with this? Saturday was her day off.
She shook her head. “I’m going to take a shower. You two stay put.” She handed the remote to Jeremy.
“I don’t want to watch TV. I’m hungry.” Nicole’s five-year-old face looked up at her, freckles and traces of last night’s dessert covering her face. She would look so sweet and innocent if it were not for the defiance shining from her eyes.
“Well, you’ll just have to wait. I’m going to get a shower now. Your father ought to be home any minute.”
“But I’m hungry NOW.”
Dawn turned her back on the whining and started down the hall. “Now sounds like a good time for you to learn some patience.” She walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind her.
“I said, I’m hungry NOW!” Nicole’s voice sniveled directly outside the door.
Dawn turned on the shower full blast. She undressed and put her head beneath the water, drowning most of the sounds of the pounding and demanding at her door. She turned the water up hot, as if the sting against her skin could somehow erase the sting of her conscience for ignoring the hungry child just outside her door.
This was not her problem. These were not her kids. These were not even her step-kids. They simply belonged to the pig she’d been stupid enough to believe when he said he loved her. What a crock of lies he’d fed her. And he’d been so charming and persuasive in the beginning.
She could still remember how furious her father had been when he found out about their relationship. The ensuing fight played a vivid reminder across the screen of her memory, anger flashing in his eyes. “That relationship ends now.”
“He loves me, and I love him, and you can’t tell me what to do.” Defiance surged through her like a drug, giving her strength, making her feel alive.
“As long as you live under my roof I can.”
“I’m eighteen. I’m an adult.”
“All right. If that’s the way you want to play it, so be it.” Her father turned his back on her and stomped from the kitchen.
She sat at the table, shaking from the exchange, but exhilarated. She had stood up to him. And won. The rush of this newfound strength flowed through her limbs and tingled in her toes. This was the beginning of a new life of independence for her.
Five minutes later, her father came to the kitchen door, his arms filled with her clothes. “We’ll call these a going away present, but as an adult, you buy your own from here on out.” He walked to the front door, dumped the load in a pile on the front porch, and pointed outside. “Enjoy your life as a grown-up.”
Dawn looked at the heap of clothes, then back to her father.
“Dad, I . . .”
“You’ve made your choice. Now get out.”
She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. She walked out, head held high, and had never been back since. How she wished she could return to that moment, do things differently. Her home life had never been great, but it sure beat this. At least then, there had been hope.
Unfortunately, her job at the pharmacy didn’t pay enough for her to live on her own. Her friends from high school had mostly moved on—gone on to college or moved to larger cities with more opportunities.
She was broke. And miserable. And alone.
The water began to get cooler, so she turned the spigot toward hot. She scrubbed at some imaginary dirt on her knee. She washed her hair a second time, feeling the bubbles tickle her scalp, smelling the scent of the sour apple shampoo. She took a long, luxurious time to shave her legs, until every last inch of them was completely smooth.
Only now did she realize that sometime during the process, the pounding on the door had stopped, the whining had ceased. Good. She turned off the shower and reached for a towel. Nothing.
Oh, no. She had thrown them in the washer yesterday morning, and that’s where they still were.
“I’m hungry.” Nicole started banging on the door again.
Well, at least the kid could make herself useful. Dawn walked over to the door and spoke loud enough for Nicole to hear her over her own whimpering. “Nicole, go to the hall closet and get me a towel.”
“But I’m hungry.”
“Bring me a towel so I can dry off. After I get dressed, I’ll see what I can find you to eat, okay?”
“Okay.” The girl could turn a single word into a whine, and it grated on Dawn like fingernails across a chalkboard. No wonder this kid’s mother needed to go away for the weekend.
Soon Nicole was back, knocking on the door. “Got your towel.”
After Dawn was dried and dressed she stared at the door. She wanted to leave it locked and pretend there weren’t two little people just outside, depending on her. At least until Jack decided to show up. But, as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t.
She finally opened the door to see Nicole sitting in the hallway just outside, her eyes puffy and pink. “Okay, Nic, let’s go get you something to eat.”
They walked down the hall. Towels were strewn everywhere around the linen closet. “Nicole, why did you make such a mess?”
“I wanted to find you the prettiest towel ’cause you’re so pretty.”
Dawn looked back at the child and waited for the laughter. Instead, she saw green eyes, still moist with tears. “Well, thanks then. That was a really nice thought.” She stacked the towels back into the closet, then walked into the kitchen. “Let’s see what we’ve got.” She rummaged through the mostly bare cupboards. “Jeremy, you hungry?”
He didn’t answer.
“He’s watching TV. Some show with a bunch of girls and boys kissing in a hot tub. It’s gross.”
Dawn closed the cabinet door and walked around the corner to see Jeremy happily enjoying an R-rated movie.
“Jeremy, turn that off right now.”
“Dad lets me.”
“When he gets here, you can talk to him about it. For now, he’s not here, and I’m in charge.”
Jeremy groaned and turned off the television. “I’m hungry.”
“Come on in the kitchen with your sister. I’m just about to fix something to eat.”
She came up with two cans of chili, a stale pack of crackers, and a box of Cheerios that was easily two months old. “I guess we’re going out to get something. Where do you guys want to go?”
“McDonald’s!” came the simultaneous reply.
“Mickey D’s it is. Everyone load up in the car.”
Dawn reached into her purse for the keys, but found something else instead. Her wallet was wide open. And empty.
Jack must have gone through her purse before he went out last night. It wasn’t enough that he’d been staying out all night, coming in smelling of perfume. Now he was taking her money, too.
What was she going to do? The kids were whiny and hungry; she was hungry. Jack might not be home for hours yet.
She thought of the pharmacy. Could she bring herself to go begging? Would she be able to show her face on Monday if she did?
Paige was working alone today. Maybe there was some reasonable excuse Dawn could use for needing money. Nothing came to mind, but she’d have the drive over to think one up. Nothing like no choice to make her try.
When she pulled into a parking spot in front of the theater shops, she looked at the kids. “All right. Let’s go, but don’t touch anything.”
She shooed them out of her car and inside the building’s main doors. When she walked into the pharmacy she could see Paige at the counter. No customers were in the store. She pushed through the pharmacy door. “Slow day?”
“It’s a Saturday, you know how it is.” Paige looked around Dawn, then back. “Who’s this?”
Nicole and Jeremy had followed Dawn up into the dispensing area. She turned on them. “Get out of here. Go look at something on the counters.”
“Candy?” Nicole asked.
“Out! Now!” The kids scurried toward the front of the store. Dawn looked at Paige, knowing what she must be thinking right now. And every bit of it was true. Why hadn’t she just fed the kids chili and stale crackers and saved herself this humiliation? Well, she hadn’t, and there was nothing left to lose. She might as well just go for it. “I need to ask you a favor.”
“Sure. What do you need?”
“Can I borrow a little money? Jack . . . uh . . . had to go in to work early today. His ex dropped off the kids this morning, and I wanted to take them to McDonald’s, but I don’t have any cash.”
That yesterday had been payday pulsed like a neon sign. Paige had to know there was more to this story.
She looked down to where the kids were checking out the candy and smiled. “Sure. How much you need?”
“Ten ought to get us a couple of Happy Meals.”
Paige rummaged through her purse. “Here, I’ve got a twenty. Take it.”
“Oh, I don’t need . . .”
“You never know, Jack might have to work until late. This will give you enough to make it to the store if he doesn’t get home in time.”
Dawn stared at the bill. She knew that if she looked up, she’d see Paige watching her with innocent blue eyes. Eyes she couldn’t face. She turned and started toward the door. “Thanks. I’ll pay you back.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Paige followed her to the counter. “Those kids are lucky to have you in their lives.”
Long after Dawn left the store, she remembered Paige’s words.
“Those kids are lucky to have you in their lives.” When she looked at Nicole’s huge eyes, sparkling with the thrill of her Happy Meal toy, she walked over and gave her a hug.
Nicole squeezed her tight. “I love you, Dawn.”
“I . . .” Dawn’s throat closed off further response. It was the first time anyone had said those words to her in more than a year. She kissed the top of Nicole’s head. “Want to go get some ice cream?”