On Friday, Paige could feel the bulge in her lab coat pocket, packed tight with a stack of index cards. She pulled out the pale lavender card at the top. Jeremiah 32:17—Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. Nothing was too hard for Him, including getting her mother through this day. Today, more than any she could remember, she wanted so badly to be in Houston with her parents. If she walked out the door right now and started driving, she could be there by tomorrow.
“Can someone help me find the right cough medicine for my son?” A tired-looking woman of about thirty stood at the counter in a wrinkled T-shirt and pajama bottoms.
Paige went down to meet her. “Sure, I’ll help. Walk with me over to the cough and cold aisle, and tell me about your son.”
“We haven’t slept for three nights. The kid is hacking until all hours. I can’t take another night of this.” The woman rubbed her face with both hands. “Give me the strongest thing you’ve got.”
“Does he have a sore throat? A fever? Does his cough sound wheezy or barky?”
“No to all the above, just a constant hacking.”
“How old is he?”
“Seven.”
“Paige, call for you,” Clarissa called from behind the counter.
As Paige picked up a bottle of cough medicine and held it out to the woman, she could feel her fingers starting to sweat. She wanted to run behind the counter and grab the phone right now. Somehow, she forced herself to stay put. “Give him a teaspoonful of this every six hours. Give your doctor’s office a call if he doesn’t get better soon.”
“Thank you.”
Paige called, “You’re welcome” over her shoulder as she rushed toward the phone.
“At least it’s someone besides Tony this time.” Clarissa shrugged as Paige stepped back behind the counter to answer. Something in her voice sounded sad, but Paige didn’t have time right now.
Paige put the phone to her ear. “This is Paige.”
“Well, baby girl, today was a big day—” Her father’s voice broke, the squeaky intake of breath the only sign he was crying.
Paige waited quietly for him to gain control. She knew he hated to lose it like this. She counted out capsules for a refill that was waiting, glad to keep her hands busy while her mind screamed for news. Finally she whispered out the words, “Day zero, right?”
“It was so much more than that.” Again, he stopped speaking, but this time continued after a deep breath. “Today was her last radiation treatment, too.”
“Right. That’s a big thing to check off the list.”
“Even better than the day they stopped those tent treatments for her RSV. You know what they do in radiation when it’s a patient’s last treatment? The nurses have a bell they ring. You can hear it in the waiting room, so everyone out there knows that someone just finished up. When your mother came walking out the door, everyone in that entire waiting room clapped. I mean, there were people sitting out there missing all sorts of body parts, most of them hairless, and yet they still rejoiced for one of their own. . . .” Her father’s voice choked into silence. The sounds of quiet sobs came from the other end of the phone. It was the second time Paige had ever known him to cry. The first was the day her mother was diagnosed.
Warm tears spilled down Paige’s cheeks as she pictured her mother, weakly walking into the waiting room, finished with this step of the process. She knew her mother well enough to know she smiled at them—likely stopped to squeeze a hand or offer a hug, too. How she wished she could have seen it. “How was the transplant itself?”
“Good. They gave her four bags full of stem cells. It’s quite a process.”
“How’d Mom do?”
“They gave her a bunch of medicine stuff beforehand, so she mostly slept through it. Then they watched her real close for a while, making sure there weren’t any signs of rejection. And there weren’t. Everything’s looking good so far.”
Host versus graft disease. Paige understood it well. If they could avoid that, maybe her mother stood a fighting chance.
“Oh, Daddy, I’m so glad. I’ve been praying like crazy all day.”
“You, and about half of Sledge. In fact, I heard the church ladies organized some sort of twenty-four hour prayer chain for your mother for the transplant.”
“I know. I was the one to two a.m. shift. And do you remember me telling you about Ora, who has coffee with me every morning, and the way she comes out with all those bizarre references?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, she gave me some verses for today. Here I’ll read them to you.” Paige pulled out the index card she’d made after Ora had fed her this latest reference. “Ready, Dad? It’s from Ephesians 4, it says, ‘You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.’ ” Paige held her breath so she wouldn’t giggle while waiting for her father’s response.
“Um, nice verse. I guess. And that would apply to your mother how, do you reckon?”
Paige looked up to see someone standing at the counter. Dawn was still on lunch break, and Clarissa was nowhere to be seen.
“Dad, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you tonight. Okay? Love you! Give Mom a hug for me.”
They said good-bye and Paige wiped her eyes and then stepped over to help the waiting woman. “May I help you?”
The woman handed her a bottle. “I need a refill, please.”
“Have a seat. It’ll be just a minute.”
Clarissa was sitting at the back desk, writing on a pad of yellow paper. When she saw Paige looking at her she quickly flipped the pad over.
Paige typed the prescription into the computer and didn’t think more about it, until Clarissa showed up at her side. “Sorry. Just thought of something that needed to be done immediately. I didn’t see her standing there.”
“No problem.” What was Clarissa working on that she felt she needed to justify, and why had she flipped it over so quickly when she saw Paige looking? As much as she wanted to chide herself for being paranoid, given what she’d lived through in the past year, she didn’t go there.
Clarissa had been acting more and more strange since Tony’s call a few days ago. None of it made any sense. Clarissa was the one who had insisted she go to dinner with them, she was the one who had acted like she wanted the two of them to get together, and now she seemed upset that he had called once. Who knew what was going on in her head?
Or on that yellow pad of paper?
“Good afternoon, ladies.”
Clarissa looked up to see Tony leaning across the counter. He grinned at Paige. “How are my two favorite pharmacists this fine afternoon?”
“Tony, what are you doing here?” Clarissa knew that every bit of her irritation came through in her voice, but so be it. Tony was crossing the line and he needed to back off now.
He continued to lean across the counter but turned his attention, minus the glowing smile, toward her. “Oh, checking in upstairs again. They’ve gotten a little behind schedule, and I’ll probably be here several times in the next few weeks to help out.”
“Well, I’m glad you checked in.” She nodded toward the group of people sitting in the waiting area. “Little busy now. I’ll come find you later when we’re all caught up. Okay?”
“Sure. Don’t want to interfere with the business day, I’ve heard the boss can be a real bear.” Tony winked, then waved his goodbye to Paige. “See ya later.”
Something about that wave bugged Clarissa. What was it, besides that it had been directed only at Paige? It was only a stupid hand gesture. Then it hit her, even harder than the initial reaction. It was his left hand—there was no ring on it.
In spite of the fact that Laurie had left him two years ago, in spite of the fact that she’d already remarried and had a child, Tony had never taken his ring off. Clarissa had asked him about it once, and he’d said it felt comfortable, and he wasn’t ready to move on just yet.
She looked at Paige, who stood working at the counter like nothing had even happened. It was more than time to put a stop to this.
“Did you tell me you two are going out this weekend?”
Paige couldn’t have been more thankful that Rachelle was coming to town. Something about Clarissa’s tone warned her that a yes answer might push her beyond the flash point. “No. I’ve got a friend coming into town tomorrow.”
“That’s too bad.” Clarissa smiled even as she said the words.
The brightness in her eyes, the tone in her voice. It was so hard, so cold. It sent a chill down Paige’s spine.
She had never been so glad for the escape that lunchtime offered. At least for the next half hour she could sit outside in peace. She’d had more than enough tension for one day.
“Mind if I join you?” Tony squatted before her so that they were face-to-face.
“I didn’t see you come out.”
“So I gathered by the way you jumped when I spoke.” His grin could light an entire room. “I’m about to go buy lunch at the coffee counter, but I’ll come sit out here with you if you’d like some company.”
“Sounds great.”
“I was hoping you’d think so.” He stood upright. “You want anything from inside?”
Paige shook her head, then stopped. “You know, maybe I do.
If they still have some scones left from this morning, I’d love one. And a bottled water.”
“You got it.”
Paige watched the people milling around the square, some smiling and laughing—just a leisurely day out shopping—while others looked stressed, tired, or just downright miserable. She thought of her mother, whose circumstances would be enough to break the most upbeat of people, yet she was still teasing and laughing with her family. It was a deliberate choice; Paige knew that. Her mother had chosen to stay positive, had chosen to rely on her faith—believing God would ultimately do the thing that was best for all of them. She could still hear her mother’s voice— “God is not a vending machine that gives us everything we want. He does what is the best thing—for all involved.”
Paige pulled out the index cards again. She knew what was best for all of them. Her mother being completely rid of this cancer was what was best.
She couldn’t shake the rest of her mother’s words, no matter how she tried. She didn’t want to remember them, didn’t want to accept them. “If His plan means I go through all of this, and the cancer—or the treatment—still takes me, then I say that’s where I want to be. Right in the middle of His plan.”
Paige shook her head. God, give me that kind of trust. She closed her eyes and pictured her mother’s sweet face. Give me that kind of trust, but please still heal my mother.
“Tell me you are not going out with him this weekend.” Cory’s voice came from beside her, but he spoke so loud it carried down the sidewalk.
“Not that it’s any of your business, no I am not going out with him this weekend. I have a friend coming in from Atlanta.”
Cory stood and looked at her, slowly uncrossed his arms, and dropped onto the bench beside her. “Sorry, that guy just makes me crazy.” He looked at Paige and smiled. “And after a couple of lunches you keep turning me down. What do you say? For my sanity’s sake, aren’t you ready to go out? I know you wouldn’t want a fellow human being’s mind to be warped because of you.”
Paige laughed. She had to admit, Cory’s persistence was flattering. And he was fun to be around—most of the time, anyway. “Well, I—”
“Here’s your scone.” Tony stood before the two of them, balancing paper plates in his left hand, a foam coffee cup in his right hand, and a bottled water under his right arm. He looked at Cory, still sitting so close. “Hi Cory. Didn’t know you were going to be out here.”
Cory turned toward Paige, his expression too nonchalant to be believable. “Oh, I’m leaving. I just stopped to talk to Paige about something.”
“Great. See you later.”
Cory took his time in standing, yawning and stretching. He looked at Paige one last time and nodded. “See you later.”
Tony sat beside Paige and watched Cory until he was inside the lobby, doors closed behind him. He handed Paige her water.
“So, I know your friend’s coming to town tomorrow and all, but you want to grab a quick bite of dinner tonight?”
The guest room really needed some cleaning before Rachelle got there. And she had already planned to spend the evening at home. Alone. In the quietness of her parents’ house. Suddenly, she couldn’t stand the thought. “Sure. Sounds great.”
“I was hoping you’d think so.” He rested his arm across the back of the bench, and Paige leaned a little closer in spite of herself. He squeezed her shoulder. “I need to ask some professional advice.”
“Really? What?”
“I think you’re addictive and I’m in trouble. Is there any hope for me?”
Paige rested her head on his shoulder and looked up at the sky, pretending to concentrate. “Hmm, let me think back to my pharmacology classes. Let’s see, there’s . . . no, that wouldn’t work, or maybe . . . nah, that’s not it, either.” She straightened up and smiled at him. “There might be a cure, but I don’t think it’s in my best interest to help you find it.”
“I guess I’m done for, then.” He leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the lips. “I must say, I can’t think of a better way to go.”